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clh71

New member
Joined
Apr 16, 2010
Messages
5
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
12/2009
Country
UK
State
Hants
City
Portsmouth
I lost my mum to this hideous, foul disease a month ago. She refused all intervention and fought like a dog right to the very last breath. Her end was so unexpected, it even took the staff at the hospice where she was for a bit of respite care, by surprise. On the Sunday lunchtime (which was Mothers Day here in the UK), she drank a gin and tonic, and laughed with us. On the Monday morning she was dead. There was no gradual sleepiness, no gentleness, just awful, panicky gasping for breath. She was so scared. To make matters worse, I lost my Dad the week before to a sudden heart attack after a freak accident at home the night she went into hospice. So I lost both of my parents, who were only in their 60's, 8 days apart. I feel so lost. Someone else commented, who do I worry about now? For the last 15 months since her diagnosis I have worried and run around constantly, trying to help. Now, there's nothing. And her last week was spent grieving for my Dad, which makes it so much worse. Having to go to the Hospice, sit next to her, and see her unable to move at all, unable to speak, and tell her that her husband had died was a truly awful experience. People keep saying to me that she must have given up after Dad died, but that's not true. It was just a fluke of timing. She fought to stay, she gave it everything she had, but this evil disease was stronger. People also say "it's nice that they're together" and I want to scream at them NO IT'S NOT! It's awful, tragic and so traumatic that I can't get past it. We had a double funeral which was like I was watching a film on TV, not real at all. None if this is real. Surely, it's not.
 
I am so very very sorry for your losses. How aweful to lose both your parents so close together. You have such a lot to contend with right now. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Avril
 
Dear clh71, I am so sorry 4 UR loss of both parenmts. My prauyers R with U as U grieve.
 
I am so sorry for your losses--it is more than a person should have to bare. Lots of prayers being said and lots of love being sent to you. Please accept my condolences at the loss of both of your parents.
Laurel
 
that stinks beyond words. i am so very sorry you had to lose your parents in this traumatic way.
i hope you find peace.
 
I am so sorry to hear of your losses. your story is so heartbreaking on many levels. I pray you are surrounded by loving people that can help you through this time. Be patient with yourself while you grieve the passing of your parents.

May you find comfort in knowing you were there for your mom, doing what you could to help support her.

My deepest sympathies and wishes for peace.
 
I can't even comprehend what you must be feeling, so I will just tell you how sorry I am, and I hope you find peace with all that you have been through..
 
What terrible losses you have suffered. I pray you have loving support nearby.
you are in my prayers.
blessings,Pat
 
I too extend my sympathy to you. This is a cruel disease with no predictable timeline. My husband died six weeks ago. He was just 60 and had only been diagnosed 6 months ago. It's alot to wrap your head around. My mother has alzheimer's disease and probably will not be here very soon. It has been heartbreaking to have an elderly mom with a strong body and no mind and a young husband witn a strong mind and no body.. It truly doesn't make sense. I guess all we can do it accept and try to find a peace within to move forward as they would want us too.. My thoughs and love surround you... I hope you will find peace...
 
I m so sorry for you. This is so cruel.
 
What a shock all this has been for you! Hopefully you have family and friends nearby who can help hold you up while you get back to life. I think sometimes people don't know what to say in these circumstances, but even when they say stuff that stings more than helps, they are not meaning to be hurtful. I am truly sorry for your loss.

Blessings,
Jo
 
Thanks everyone. I'm sorry for the original late night outburst, but it was boiling inside my head and I needed to vomit it up! dkaste - I am so sorry for your loss and LizT - thanks for that, you're right, it does suck beyond words! That's all I want people to say, don't try to rationalise it, it's s#*t - period.
 
Dear clh71, there are no words anyone can say, or anything that anyone can do to help you through this awful time... please know that many others are shedding tears for you and your parents, and your story touched me deeply. I'm so sorry for your losses, and wish you peace and love.
 
Hi, I am so sorry for your losses. My heart goes out to you. Hugs from far away.
 
So sorry for your losses xxx Ang
 
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