clh71
New member
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2010
- Messages
- 5
- Reason
- Loved one DX
- Diagnosis
- 12/2009
- Country
- UK
- State
- Hants
- City
- Portsmouth
I lost my mum to this hideous, foul disease a month ago. She refused all intervention and fought like a dog right to the very last breath. Her end was so unexpected, it even took the staff at the hospice where she was for a bit of respite care, by surprise. On the Sunday lunchtime (which was Mothers Day here in the UK), she drank a gin and tonic, and laughed with us. On the Monday morning she was dead. There was no gradual sleepiness, no gentleness, just awful, panicky gasping for breath. She was so scared. To make matters worse, I lost my Dad the week before to a sudden heart attack after a freak accident at home the night she went into hospice. So I lost both of my parents, who were only in their 60's, 8 days apart. I feel so lost. Someone else commented, who do I worry about now? For the last 15 months since her diagnosis I have worried and run around constantly, trying to help. Now, there's nothing. And her last week was spent grieving for my Dad, which makes it so much worse. Having to go to the Hospice, sit next to her, and see her unable to move at all, unable to speak, and tell her that her husband had died was a truly awful experience. People keep saying to me that she must have given up after Dad died, but that's not true. It was just a fluke of timing. She fought to stay, she gave it everything she had, but this evil disease was stronger. People also say "it's nice that they're together" and I want to scream at them NO IT'S NOT! It's awful, tragic and so traumatic that I can't get past it. We had a double funeral which was like I was watching a film on TV, not real at all. None if this is real. Surely, it's not.