mytwoboys
Active member
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2009
- Messages
- 72
- Country
- US
- State
- OH
- City
- Canal Winchester
It is with great sadness that I tell all of you that my husband Alan passed away early this morning. He was 48. His brother and I were by his side along with a nurse and aide from the hospice center. His passing was mostly quiet and peaceful. He became unresponsive Monday afternoon and continued to decline - rapidly at times.
The hatred I have for this monster is matched in intensity by the most sincere gratitude I have for all the support I have received from my friends on these forums. Just knowing that we were not alone relieved some of the burden I felt every time I logged in. I have met only a couple of members in person (thanks to Barry's map) - but count you as those closest to me and my family. Once you are dragged into the world created by this disease, your life is changed. My forum friends are the ones that can say "I understand" - and I know that they do.
I am trying hard to find the words to describe my feelings right now. Sadness that my boys are cheated out of a father. Sadness that Alan was cheated out of living out the rest of his life doing the things he loved. Sadness for him being punished for no reason. Sadness for what was supposed to be. Yet in the middle of my creation of this message, I can laugh through my tears because our new kittens keep jumping on my keyboard and I have to keep fixing this message. They are fulfilling their mission of bringing some joy back into our house
I don't see this as being my last post. This disease is now part of who I am. There is no way I can walk away - it's always going to be there. I only hope that I can offer the advice, support, and friendship that has been so helpful to me during our journey.
Love to all.
Sandy
The hatred I have for this monster is matched in intensity by the most sincere gratitude I have for all the support I have received from my friends on these forums. Just knowing that we were not alone relieved some of the burden I felt every time I logged in. I have met only a couple of members in person (thanks to Barry's map) - but count you as those closest to me and my family. Once you are dragged into the world created by this disease, your life is changed. My forum friends are the ones that can say "I understand" - and I know that they do.
I am trying hard to find the words to describe my feelings right now. Sadness that my boys are cheated out of a father. Sadness that Alan was cheated out of living out the rest of his life doing the things he loved. Sadness for him being punished for no reason. Sadness for what was supposed to be. Yet in the middle of my creation of this message, I can laugh through my tears because our new kittens keep jumping on my keyboard and I have to keep fixing this message. They are fulfilling their mission of bringing some joy back into our house
I don't see this as being my last post. This disease is now part of who I am. There is no way I can walk away - it's always going to be there. I only hope that I can offer the advice, support, and friendship that has been so helpful to me during our journey.
Love to all.
Sandy
