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dlk5730

New member
Joined
Dec 16, 2009
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Loved one DX
Country
US
State
TX
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McKinney
Dad died peacefully two weeks ago. I thought I was done mourning, but now I can't seem to work well at work and feel like I don't know where to start life again. I spent days and months making lifts, ramps, and gadgets so that my dad could keep living life. And now it's over. I was prepared for this, I knew it was coming, but now that it's here there's still alot of adjusting to do.

I sometimes think that Dad could have made it longer and that we forced him to die. He was dependent on a bi-pap and did not want to suffer any longer. We took him to the hospital where the doctors weaned him off of the bi-pap. He died 15 minutes after he was off of the bi-pap. I don't know if the morphine and adovan had any effect on making him die faster. I tell myself that Dad's body was no longer able to function and he would have died anyway, but then I just keep going back-and-forth.

I miss him. Everything reminds me of him.

I only hope I can be as good of a father as he was.

I will remember and love you always Dad.

In memoriam:
My Dad at the Walk to defeat ALS

A scholarship established for my dad
 
I am very sorry for your loss! Please accept my condolences.
 
Oh my goodness dlk5730

The same sorts of thoughts went through my mind. Though my mom wasn't on Bipap. Hospice came in last Monday and switched her to morphine because the hydrocodone wasn't working any more, then on Monday night they gave her a patch (can't remember what the name of the drug was but was akin to morhpine) She died about 12 hours later. I know it wasn't my fault, it was her time. They only gave her the meds because she seemed to be in so much pain, but the thought crossed my mind. My heart goes out to you. I know you did the best you could have and I believe your right, it was your fathers time, so try not to beat yourself up.

I am very sorry for your loss!
 
I am so sorry for your loss. Having recently lost my Dad, I know how you feel. I too keep reviewing the last few days and wondering if/then. I have learned that while I can't stop my mind from wondering in that direction, it does not change the end result. I have no doubt he knew how much I loved him. I still miss him terribly but I know deep down that he is no longer suffering. My heart goes out to you.
Dana
 
Please accept my condolences. Please pass my sympathies on to your family. He sounded like a wonderful man. I am so sorry for your loss.Wishing you and Dana peace this holiday. I know it will be hard without your family members.
 
Your dad sounds like an amazing father and your love for him shines through. I have no doubt you will be as great a father to your children. Please accept my deepest sympathies for your loss.

Rosella
 
May your father rest in peace. I am quite sure you will live up to his reputation and be a special parent.
 
I am sorry for your loss, losing a parent is so hard and while it does get easier to accept you never stop missing them. Because of what you have said about building things to help your dad I know that you will be a great father too.
My condolences to you and your family.
 
I am sorry that you have lost your Dad. Don sounds like he was a well loved man. The Morphine and Ativan would have just made him relax and be more comfortable rather than struggle so much with his breathing at the end. Please try not to ruminate about doing the wrong thing at any point. We all do this when we have family members dying and we are responsible for making decisions at the end of their lives. The important thing is you loved him and wanted the best for him. May God Bless you and your family.
Laurel
 
so sorry about your dad --- you did not make his death quicker ,actually the bi-pap probley had him live longer than he would have he left quickley after bi-pap was removed so it would of not help much longer anyways..we all feel that way along with what else could of i done to keep him here longer , make his illness easier , or brought more joy to him ..you are not alone in that ...we are not god you did all you could for him...he would not want you to feel this way , just remember his love and smiles i bet that would please him more..best of luck
 
I am truly sorry to hear about your father. I will keep you all in my prayers.
Josie
 
Sorry for your loss.

AL.
 
I'm so sorry for the passing of your Dad, Give thanks for the time you had him, Keep him alive in your heart and mind. He is alive in you and your children so he has truly not died. Don't feel as if you or the doctors may have done something to help him pass.
I live with ALS everyday and wouldn't want to suffer, give thanks that your Dad didn't.
I hate the pain that I live in everyday and the loss of moving around like I could before, when the quality of life is gone I think that everyone would want to pass nicely like your Dad did. I don't know if your spiritual but, I have said a prayer for your Dad.
Just remember to keep him alive in memory. I'm so Sorry for your LOSS.:-(
 
So sorry that your Dad has passed. You will miss him every day of your life. Try and treasure the fun times, happy memories and things you shared that were special because this beast of a disease struck.


It has been 6 months since my husband died and last night at our Christmas Eve dinner his place was empty. We said our grace and then went around the table and said one thing each that reminded us of a funny time with him. By the time all 5 of us finished, we were laughing and that is what my husband would want.

It takes time to get to this point so go easy on yourself. You are grieving and your Dad deserves your tears. But heal gently and know we are praying for you tonight.

Patty
 
dlk......may your dear dad rest in peace! Prayers your way!

Irma
 
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