Can't Fix Stupid and Only Life Experiences Will Fix Ignorance

Status
Not open for further replies.

Jason's Dream

Distinguished member
Joined
Sep 5, 2010
Messages
310
Country
US
State
As Usual
City
On My Own
So incredibly infuriated and trying to calm down after a woman basically trivialized what Jason and I went through these past 23+ months, by lamenting that I was only in my 30s and not in my 60s like her and her husband are.

Why do people mistake age for maturity?

Maturity does not come with age, but by life experiences.

I love when people do this, it shows how utterly ignorant they are of matters they know not of.
 
yep. I guess it like how I judge teens, when they talk about loss, and things they are going through. But your right age really has nothing to do with it, some of us have gone through things not meant for people our age and no one really knows what it is until they walk a mile in our shoes or roll a mile in our chairs.
 
I know what you mean! It is unbelievable when people belittle others and what they are going through. When my father passed away last year, my oldest sister said that it was harder on her because she was with our parents the longest. What? Well couldn't it have been that the rest of us (5 siblings) were hurting more because we didn't have time with him as long. LOL Her husband once said to my husband that at least Eric doesn't have it as bad as he does, because he needs to have back surgery. Hmmm back surgery or ALS. You can't fix crazy either! LOL

That woman that you spoke with should be glad she and her husband have been lucky enough to live to be in their 60's!

Like you said, "you can't fix stupid." I totally agree!
 
I hope to God that this wasn't at a bereavement support group!
 
My friend's husband died from heart attack..She told me if it had been my husband I could handle it better than she could. To this day he has no use for her.
 
i know this isnt the exact same thing, but whats been driving me nuts lately is ppl on F B saying crap like "FML! I have to get up an hour early today!" Or "FML, my boyfriend got drunk last night" or "FML, I have to help my sister move"
Really? REALLY?
For those who dont know, FML stands for F*** My Life.
Idiots.
 
Someone at my bereavement group told me that it was harder for her because she and her husband had been married longer. I hope she understood when I explained that this wasn't a contest. No one can ever really understand what another person is experiencing. That's why I love the forum. We all get that this disease is different for everyone. Needless to say, the loss will be different for everyone, too. Much love to you all...
 
I'm sorry to say it was a couple who just found out the husband has it. The wife is in complete denial and very angry. She just wants to sit and watch this beast kill him. We (at an ALS support group) were trying to encourage them to do his bucket list. She says, he doesn't have one, at the same time, he is saying he wants to go on a cruise to Alaska, but she is saying they wont go. Tried to encourage her by explaining all that Jason and I did, that I don't regret it, etc. Her reply was, well, you are in your 30s, so it makes sense. We have been married 20 years, have kids, grandkids, have taken cruises, and just retired (incidentally when he retired, he started having health problems, and the way she acts, I think she is pissed he retired, or maybe if he didn't he'd still be healthy, as well as, I think she was hoping she would go before him, and now knows that he will die before her and leave her alone.).

But the way she talked to me, it was like, well, you don't understand what we are going through, it makes sense what you did, cause you guys were only kids, but we've actually had a lifetime together, etc, so you couldn't understand our pain, our loss, or where we are in life...

REALLY? I don't understand? No, she doesn't have a clue !
 
That poor lady will have quite the slap in the face in the near future. Thats too bad and that makes me feel REALLY bad for her husband. It also makes me mad. I sure hope she learns how to listen to him and get some of the things done that he'd like to do, before it is too late. I hope HE gets to make decisions.

That lady was wrong to say what she said to you Becca.
 
That is very sad. That poor man. I hope he has some friends that might consider taking him somewhere while he is still able to get around easily.
 
Exactly! I felt soo bad for him. How dare she already resolve to give up and not be there for him! She is just at the beginning of the fight and already has that mentatlity? She has a long road ahead of her, especially with that attitude. He is already using a cane and has had 4 surgeries on one of his eyes. I'm afraid to say, I wonder if she won't leave him. What with, right now its just mentally and emotionally overwhelming.. his physical symptoms haven't deteriated to where he is also physically challenging as well.

Just infuriated with her and felt soo bad that he doesn't have someone in his corner, as she is only concerned about her feelings and what her life is going to be like, and not even care about his feelings.

I mean, they have known this a few months, and when we brought it up, they hadn't even talked about a bucket list? We talked of a bucket list within hours of Jason getting his diagnosis.

Just really sad. :(
 
Bran and I didn't get do his bucket list. Things were fast. once we got seated with everything in place that we could start to do things he wanted, it was sadly just to late. things were so rapid for us. I am not sure if it was a blessing that we didn't suffer for years, and that I didn't have to sit by longer and watch this decline. But trust me it was no joy having the rug pulled out from under us super fast, hurt no less. I just wish we could have had the time. The time do take that cruise that would have been December 2012, or that vacation to Montana where his moms family is, or having that baby that would have had my lips and his beautiful big brown eyes, I am thankful for teh time we had and the things that I made him go and do, but i wanted more. Silly, but sometimes when i shut my eyes, and hope that it has all been a long bad dream.. and that he is right there again.. open arms waiting to tell me, with his smooth voice, "Hunny... it's gonna be OK, I'm right here and not going anywhere, now get some sleep princess." If only .....


I miss him every moment.
 
Larry and I talked about the bucket list early on to. My sons would call and say OK Mom..what else is on Dads bucket list. They took him sailing. They took him to a Steelers game at Heinz field. They wont take him sky diving though. lol I know they will never ever regret it.
 
If she only had any common sense, she would have known that WAS your life plan with Jason. Oh Becca, you never seem to get a break, and here is another holiday already. " Happy's Mother's Day" You are the Best. You Go Girl.
 
Thanks Tammy.

Having such a hard time right now.

Today we burried my cousin.

He committed suicide. This is the second cousin I have had to bury due to suicide and the 3rd in our family. It pisses the crap out of me! Especially after watching Jason struggle to stay here as long as he could and live the the fullest, to see my cousin waste what my husband would have given anything for.

So tired of family. Saw family I haven't seen in ages, and others I hadn't seen since Jason's funeral. They were trying to be "there" for me and were apologetic for not being there for me, but (excuse after excuse, blah blah blah). Asked what I did for Mother's Day and were appauled that I was alone on Mothers Day. If they had used thier brains, they would have known I would be alone, my mom being 3 time zones away, first one without my sweetheart that would have doted on me and spoil me on that day (were he here), missing my two little angel loves, and with my children who are too young to even know what that day was or what it meant, etc. Then, for them to appease them.. can we do a rain check, blah blah blah.. which won't amount into a hill of beans.

Tonight Jason's aunt that had been reprehensable around Easter texted... just seeing how you and the kids are doing... code words for, "I still want what I want, and thats to have my "right" at being in those kids lives, etc"... Little did she know I just got home from yet another funeral... I just texted "Doing okay. Just very busy." and left it at that. And no reply from her.

I am soo done with all family in general. I need to repair me. I'm so tired of being hurt and hurting.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top