Emotional Lability insights

[brooksea]

Hey Glen - That was my husband! Crying at commercials about kids that need cancer treatment or some such.

However, he started being angry, I mean really angry, at our own son for having a spat with his little friend - but my husband would not have patience to get the full story. My son was really starting to show the negative side affects of this and that's when I told my husband he HAD to take something to help this problem.

Lexapro has helped.

[chefdeborah]

I am having problems with EL, but I didn't know what to call it! Since I was just dx a week or so ago, I haven't had much experience with this. I know I have been having problems with crying at anything. I told the doc I could read a grocery list and cry. I haven't had the problems with laughing. I can't laugh anymore, really! Has anyone else had this problem? I can't for the life of me, laugh. And I really can't cry, as one poster said, I sound like a dying cow in a hail storm! My little doggie was barking at me the other day when I had a breakdown. What do I ask for when I go to the doctor? I don't have another appointment until the latter part of this month.

I don't know what to do. I am so new to this. I am having problems speaking....swallowing and breathing. I am not so sure I will be able to speak by Christmas. It is getting worse by the day! I don't know what to do! Do you ask for antidepressants or is that something you don't want to take? I don't want to do anything that will make it worse!

Please help me!

chefdeborah

[BarryG]

Ok, this really sucks when I can't watch Saving Private Ryan without a whole box of kleenex. Or see an A&W bacon double cheeseburger commercial without breaking down into sobbing. I am going to have to avoid the Remembrance Day (Veteran's Day) programs cause I will be a wreck. Not the emotional lability that Beth describes, more like emotional volatility. Think EV not EL.

[Zaphoon]

Barry,

I love "Saving Private Ryan"! One of the best WWII themed movies I've seen. You don't have to have EL to weep during that one. Too many good guys get butchered.

PZ

[BethU]

ChefDeborah ... call your doctor and see if he/she will prescribe something to help. Many people take anti-depressants and that controls it very well for most people.

There are also other meds that can control this. Most importantly ... don't panic about it. EL can be successfully controlled, and other ALS symptoms can be managed (or worked around) too. There are speech devices that help, and breathing assists, too.

I don't think your speech will deteriorate that quickly. You are under enormous stress right now, coping with the dx. That knocks all of us for a loop, but when you come out of your shock, your symptoms will probably seem severe.

Try (I know, it's impossible at this stage) to take it one day at a time. You will get on track and feel more in control soon. You are going through the hardest part right now. This may sound odd, but it does get easier.

Hang on. You're not alone in this.

[GlenBrittle]

Barry, why did you mention the cheeseburger ads ? I am the same way , and I can taste them. Did you ever toss one in the blender ?

ChefDeb, Have you contacted your local ALS Rehab clinic yet ? There will be someone on your team that can help you get the EL under control. Paxil is working for me. As far as that overwhelming feeling , you are still in shock. Hang tight , we are here to help you.

Glen

[KeeKer]

I totally understand you all and I don't have ALS. Just my stupid hormones going wacky! Cry at anything and everything. And yes, Rose, I cry at stuffed cats! Was getting angry before, now just cry alot! Every Monday and Thursday. Definately can't go to the Rememberance Day ceremonies!Or watch commercials, or read sad stories or watch sad movies (or any commercials or movies, come to think of it) Guys, welcome to menopause!lol

[chefdeborah]

I have already tried several antidepressants, and they all make me want to throw up. I will keep on trying though. My speech is getting worse and the people around me have made mention of it. I can take the loss of speech, but the swallowing thing is a bit more than I can take. I love to eat! I was a chef! I have written about food, made food for important people, I LOVE cooking and EATING! This is going to be hard for me. I just don't know what to do next...

[paleshia]

so sorry chef, my deepest understanding, and prayers for your strength......i wonder, too, how i will be able to handle all this...and worse, how my kids are going to handle it...they don't deserve this...none of us do......stay strong, you are not alone.

one of the hardest things things is letting go of all the dreams i had... i thought i would just be started the next part of my life, now that my baby is in 1st grade, full day. i wanted to open a bakery...i love to cook too. i also wanted to learn to play the harp my whole life, not gonna happen...unless you've ever heard of a one handed harpist...oh wait, the other hand is gonna go too, shucks

[chefdeborah]

I always wanted to learn to play the banjo..yep, the banjo! I love Bluegrass music and the banjo just sings out to me. I am 57, so I have lived a great life, but had a lot of things I wanted to do too. I am so sorry that you are young and have this disease.

My children are grown, but they are still not handling it well. My hubby is not talking about it yet. He will listen to me talk about it, but he hasn't made any stab at telling me how he is handling it.

[halfin]

Deborah, I know how hard it is right at first. I was diagnosed 3 months ago and in retrospect, that whole first month I was kind of in a daze. My mind was whirling as I tried to find some way to accept this and go forward. I am still struggling with it but I feel steadier now, and I am sure that you and your family will find their own way in the weeks to come.

The situation for your husband is a tough one. We guys tend to expect our ladies to take care of us! That works out OK for me, my wife is all over this situation, researching possible treatments, helping me out. She gives me a whole body massage every day which helps my muscles relax. But at the same time I think the emotional impact has been harder on her than me; for her the thought of being left alone is just unbearable.

Your husband has to deal with the same fears, along with the realization that he is going to have to step up to the role of caregiver, that you are going to be totally dependent on him in the near future. Adjusting to that reality is a real challenge for a guy. It doesn't help that men don't feel comfortable expressing emotions. But again I am sure that you both need to just give yourselves time to learn more about what is involved, and to adjust.

Do you know if there are any support groups meeting in your area? You might meet other couples and families who have been through this. However I must note that in our own support group, there is not a single case of a husband who is caregiver for his wife. In fact almost all the PALS are men, there is one woman but she is a widow. Maybe you will be luckier and can find a family who is in more of a similar situation to yours.

[chefdeborah]

Thanks Hal for your inspirational reply. I have called and asked about a support group in our area, but I haven't found one yet. The lady told me that when I got my information from the MDA there would be some info in there. I hope so. I didn't think much of support groups until our daughter had brain cancer. When we attended them, we found out how much they helped. I hope there is one nearby and that I will find someone I can identify with.

Yep, you named it right, a daze. I am trying my best to remain strong for my family, but I have my times when I am alone. I have a hard time talking on the phone and that really puts me over the top. Hubby has been doing some research, but I think now that we have a dx he has stopped most of it.

Thanks for your post.
deborah

[Erica]

Deborah,
Just to let you know that I'm thinking of you.Erica

[chefdeborah]

Thank you Erica. I am trying to get to know most of the people here. I wish they had chat....
deborah

[GlenBrittle]

Hey Deborah,

I think you need a bucket list. Put Banjo lessons on it.

Glen