Save my sanity

Status
Not open for further replies.

strikeout

Distinguished member
Joined
Dec 4, 2007
Messages
182
Country
US
State
NJ
City
Brick
This is so ridiculous I'm not even sure how to word this. My husband and another member of MY family have ALS or a variant. Hence, no blood relation. My husband insists he got this disease from raid bee and wasp spray that was sprayed at a couple of outdoor family picnics in the park years ago. Of course if bug control products really had anything to do with it, it couldn't possibly have been the pesticides he used to have put on our lawn, then sitting down in it to pull weeds.(or the time we needed termite treatment, or his job etc.) I am at my wits end with him. He is so eager to make sure I or my family is somehow responsible. I told him I would gladly trade places with him in a heartbeat, because I honestly feel it would be easier than the nastiness I put up with everyday. It is always something. I can do nothing right. I will probably feel like an idiot after I post this, but I guess I just needed to vent.
 
Sounds like he's having trouble accepting his life the way it is. Blaming anything or anyone helps him with his anger I think. I hope you can find a common ground with him to try to make your lives more meaningful instead of full of "nastiness" as you put it. Life is precious no matter the circumstances and often it is as you make it. Hope you can come here often to vent. We'll be watching for your posts. God bless you! Marjorie and Rick
 
strikeout ... it seems that almost everyone who gets ALS (not everybody) immediately tries to find out what caused it ... and naturally they look at their own experiences for the trigger. For some it's a recent surgery, or a trauma in the past, or exposure to chemicals, etc.

It's unfortunate that your husband is using this to release hostility. The only answer I can think of for him is, "If it was the bug spray years ago, why don't we all have ALS?" It is a shame you have to deal with this in addition to the other demands that ALS puts on you in his care.

Vent here anytime. It is an almost impossible burden our caregivers carry, and you need all the support you can get.
 
Raid sells to millions of people. Millions don't have ALS. I don't think Raid causes ALS. The chemicals in it combined with the thousands of other chemicals we are exposed to in our lifetime MAY contribute to ALS. To be just one bug spray is sort of off the wall even on this forum.

AL.
 
So sorry you have this on two sides of the family! What a coincidence!

My husband owned a pest control business years and years ago. He is not the most careful person and has been exposed to many chemicals. I don't feel they alone were the cause of ALS. How many thousands of pest control applicators would have ALS?

Your husband is displacing his anger with the disease on you, as you have figured out. It happens to caregivers and you have to grow tough skin. Looks like you have tough skin, so go with it!

I know it is hard, but can you use humor to dispel this situation? If not, then tough love will have to ensue!
 
I feel for u..Show some videos or something with people that have ALS..Its not a nice disease..I can show him some of my mothers pictures before and after..then see what he says..
 
Marjorie and Beth - Thank you for understanding and compassion.

Al - I agree and off the wall describes him to a T when he goes off on a rampage LOL

CJ - It certainly is a coincidence. My sister's husband has ALS, mine has a lower motor neuron variant of ALS. He doesn't have much of a sense of humor these days.

MamaAngel - He has watched my brother-in-law decline for over 5 years. That is part of his problem. Now my husband himself cannot walk, dress himself, shower himself , and has severe muscle atrophy so he knows the face of ALS too well.
 
Is your husband on any kind of anti-depressant? If not, it could be beneficial for all concerned. I'm not big on pills, myself but I'd be willing to go on them if they can help my attitude towards those caring for me.

I feel bad for you and your husband to have to deal with such a terrible disease.

Zaphoon
 
You Know I think you are such a sweet person.I suggest we go out to lunch and vent to each other! My only concern is we wont go home to our crazy lives!Call me,I think you need a break,I know I do.Hang in There. Kim
 
Yes Zaphoon, he has taken wellbutrin and buspar in the past but did not like the side effects so discontinued them. He has been on Elavil for months now, mostly for difficulty sleeping. Doesn't help too well for that either.
 
Kim,
I will be in touch this week about getting together. Thanks for your kind words. You hang in there too!
 
Blame

Strikeout,

Read my vent post under Caregiver support group. You are not bad at all!

I think most PALS want to blame it on something. And I don't blame them. Every other day Tim has a new idea of what it was. Somedays he says maybe he just deserves it. The other day he said I might could handle it better if I new what caused it. I said, it would be the same.

I also have pictures of Tim that would blow his mind. He has sufferd a long time. Includung since his Dx in March 04. The whole thing is horrible, down to the end. Which is where we are headed.

Lorie
 
I have a uncle that is not blood relatd to me who died of ALS. My son sat next to a boy in school who has a mom with ALS, before I got sick. None of this had anything to do with ALS.. ALS is the PERFECT STORM.. I think it takes a bunch of stuff to line up to get this monster. We are all different, so many likely causes, but sure not just one.. Not Raid, do not think it is that, maybe that and another unlikely combination. Guessing game..
 
My dad died in '63 with what they called MS. It was questionable and could have been ALS. He lived 4 years from his diagnosed and weighed 65 pounds when he died. He had miserable pain and bed sores... didn't want to eat, nothing tasted good, but he didn't have trouble swallowing... but his muscles wasted all over. He was catheteried. Gruesome time. I was only 12 when he passed.

Rick's mother was diagnosed with what they called MS, could have been ALS, in the late 40s. She lived a gradual decline to 1981. She was diagnosed after a first child was born, and then quickly had two more. She couldn't speak in her last months, nor use her hands, nor hardly eat, and more.

Rick and I have prepared for much of our lives for the caring of a person with a motor neuron disease. It is not a happy expectation for him with the diagnosed of ALS, but so be it. Can't do anything about it. We work to make each other happy every day. We do all things that we can enjoy and when it ends, whoever is left will have some good memories.

I have osteoarthritis, severe carpal tunnal (both) sciatica, and lack of vitamin D...not life threatening, but I have pain.... and can't take medicines (causes migraines). Rick's ALS could be familial, although he did two tours in Vietnam with the Agent Orange. It doesn't matter how we got anything. We've just got it!

Hang in there everyone!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top