Stu, you are such a genuine sincere person, and as I type this, I know this is not the response you're looking for.
For critical input, the last 40 seconds (approximately) are very needed, and concise as they explain why the Guardian Angels is different than other ALS organizations out there.
The only possible change I'd recommend is to have the background music just a hair lower than it is now. In particular right when it transitions from the woman with ALS speaking, to when you begin to talk. There were a very few points where it seemed to interfere with listening to what you had to say. If this is something that is not easily adjusted, it is more than fine as it is now. I cannot thank you enough for doing what you have, and plan to do.