Dad wants to cry, but chokes

[Joe53217]

Hi Everyone,

I'm new here. My dad is in the later stages of ALS. Just got home from hospital with pnemonia. Wheelchair, feeding tube, etc... Of all the things he has said to me, one struck me quite hard, and I am looking for help.

He says he wishes he could just cry, but than when he does, he chokes.

Does anyone have any experience and/or suggestions for this? I looked through here but didn't see anything.

Please advise.

Thank You.

Joe

 

[kylisa]

I cannot relate to the choking when trying to cry. Crying is the only sound my mother makes now. She doesn't choke but she does have a hard time catching her breath.

 

[mndireland]

Wow, that is heartbreaking. I have to say my mum doesnt cry, she never even complains or moans about her condition. Im not sure how, as I dont think I would want to get out of bed in the mornings. I do know that its hard for her when her nose is runny, sounds disgusting but we have to sit her face forward and just let it all run, otherwise it is going down the back of the nose into the throat which in turn becomes phlegm and causes choking. Maybe tears are the same. Tell him to sit with his face forward with tissues and see if he can let it all flow out, and not back down the throat!
Im not sure, just a suggestion?

 

[Jennifer51]

I agree with mdireland...when I cry It seems to set off more phlegm in my nose and mouth and I have to lean forward and just spit it out into tissue or I would choke. It is just one more horrible thing with this disease,

 

[Joe53217]

Thank You

Thank You all for your replies.

 

[BethU]

Joe, I'd check with your dad's neuro. There are meds that can reduce or eliminate emotional lability (inappropriate emotional displays). Whether this would affect your dad's choking, I don't know. I assume when he starts crying, he aspirates some saliva into his lungs, hence the need to cough till it's out.

kylisa. I sure sympathize with your mom. I am so sorry she is having to go through this. You say: Crying is the only sound my mother makes now. She doesn't choke but she does have a hard time catching her breath. I found in the last week (when I was out of lability meds :-( ) that my wailing has intensified, and the scariest part is that I cannot catch my breath while it's going on. The way babies will scream then go silent as they try to get air.

Since my episodes last a long while (30 to 45 minutes), I was having maybe a half-dozen points per day where I couldn't get air, and I am really exhausted when it finally wears itself out.

Does your mom have breathing assists that she could use to help recover from the crying? Is she getting something for emotional lability? Even if her crying is "appropriate" for her emotional state, something that might cut down the intensity or frequency of her crying spells could help her conserve her energy ... and maybe give her a sense that she is in control of a part of her life. The more my ALS spreads, the more I realize how precious it is to feel in control of something ... your body, your emotions, your environment, Pat's "little things," which loom very large when they are taken away ... something.