when you use wheelchair, you become lazy. you get a belly (if you are lucky) which additionally makes you lazy because lack of movement. i can not walk at once more than 200-400 meters, so it is a kind of practice for muscles that didnt atrophy (yet). i'm still in a kind of (let's say) shape. i go to gym 3x a week by foot. no walk - no gym. gym means much to me. that's why i said "game is over when you get a wheelchair". i fell maybe 10 times in last year (last few months less often) and nothing happened to me, but my body is changed. no more muscles and fat to protect me. i look like maroon on two matches. i bought knee pads which saved my knees/ligaments/meniscus at least 5 times. anyway, i fell once and i had elbow luxation. simply, i can not accept idea to buy wheelchair. i need to breake every bone to persuade myself that life is changing, same as my body. i have kind of gap in my mind that cannot be patched (wheelchair=error 404). i told to my dr. "i'd rather crawl than use wheelchair". i think that willchair will breake my 8y.old daughter heart. i'd rather do "one_bullet_lead_poison", or die in mountain like an old indian, then see my (still)baby daughter brokenhearted. i live alone, so every day i talk to my alter ego, the only person didn't leave me. that's why i'm active here. me, myals and I ! to many questions, but no single answer. i still can not understand "enjoy every day"...