Caregiver/husband

[robynp]

My husband seems unable to grasp the concept of my limitations. He has not read any of the materials about ALS. He can see my exhaustion, can see my limp, can see my dropped foot prosthetic, can see that I use a rollater walker, can see me lagging behind him 10 ft when he walks.

Case in point. We are preparing to have wood floor put in and he was moving furniture. I have slowly all day been folding clothes, doing wash, putting away clothes, loaded dishwasher, emptying suitcases from trip. I was in bedroom when he put a chair in the room and I asked if he would please vacuum before he placed the chair. He remarked sarcastically:"Like you cant do anything at all".
To say the least I ended up in tears. I struggle daily with this God Awful disease and not being the person I was. What is his problem. He seems so angry

 

[affected]

I can't imagine how difficult this is Robyn!

I don't know your husband of course, but it seems it is a personality thing?

Is this his normal reaction to difficult situations - to put his head in the sand and try to ignore it?

I know that some spouses of PALS do this and it's beyond my understanding, but then my personality type is very different.

I'm not sure of the answer to help solve this, but it seems he needs someone in the medical field to sit him down and have a very honest conversation with him. Would your clinic be able to help you organise this? They could possibly then help him address his anger. Maybe he knows more than he lets on and this is the source of his anger as he is not truly dealing with it all. Mind you, every one of us CALS feel anger, as do PALS. It's taking it out on the one you love that is an issue.

 

[robynp]

i am going to discuss this with my therapist tomorrow! Yes, i do believe on some level he is burying his head. He is very headstrong but ver loving. I thinl that he is having trouble wrapping his head around this.

Now I can tell he is very angry with himself but no apology thus far. MEN!