Irritability and frustration

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twitchykitty

Distinguished member
Joined
Feb 17, 2013
Messages
102
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
01/2013
Country
AUS
State
qld
City
South Burnett
Do most people ever fully overcome the frustration and irritability?
Mums been caring for me since I was 29, admittedly the first 2 years I was really bad and the last year I've been 80% better but there's still times I can't keep it together and poor mum bears the brunt of it.
I do tell her I don't mean to be like it and I'm sorry and to try to not take it personally somehow . The whole thing is awful! Do most people experience this? And do most people ever fully adjust? God knows I've never been the most easygoing person to begin with. Any tips?
Kylie 🐱
 
Dear Kylie,

First, I'm so very sorry you're going through this at such a young age and that your mother has to watch her beloved child deal with all that is this disease.

Keep in mind your mother loves you and you love her. She probably understands your mood better than you know.

I exploded at my best friend about a month ago. It's easy to "take it out" on people you know won't abandon you, right?

Tell mum how much you love her and that you're still having a hard time with frustration and irritability.
 
Hi Kylie,

Ah yes… Frustration and MND are bed fellows! You are not alone and it is not easy.

I’m so much better at handling it now than the early days, especially at my own limitations. I still can have a mini tantrum if someone leave something just out of reach etc., leaving me stuck. I tend to just put my head down and rest, having learnt that all the tears in the world won’t move that TV remote into my hands.

It’s much harder to keep frustration in check when someone is right in front of you. I’ve been rude to people (I don’t suffer fools) and it’s probably good that nobody can understand me. Once I get to my PC, I apologise.

I try really hard to count to 10 and I have a “go to” place in my mind in which I take refuge. If I get frustrated with my husband, he starts singing softly and that calms us both down.

I know that frustration solves nothing, it just causes everyone stress and upset, so I’ve had to work hard to lessen it. I hope to master it soon :)

Take care,
Ells.
 
twitchy maybe you could see a counsellor to work through your frustration and put some strategies together?

I cannot imagine the frustration. As a CALS I've seen what this disease does, but I still cannot imagine living it. That's where finding someone who is not emotionally involved, to work on this could really help. Just a thought.
 
Thanks Kim mum and I have had a few good talks lately so at least she knows I love her and feel bad about it. Those conversations are harder than any other, we both end up in tears but at least it clears the air and we understand eachother better.
Ells I can definitely relate, it's much easier when mums not right there otherwise my mouths in gear before my brain sometimes ! If only we had telekinetic powers �� I too hope to master controlling the frustration in the meantime it's good to know I'm not alone
Thank you
 
Hey Twitchy....I am curious if your docs have you any anti-depressant/anxiety meds? If not you should inquire, this is such a hard game to play, many of us need meds to cope.

I am at the point of still being self sufficient......I can't even imagine what my attitude will be when I need constant care. I could turn in to a monsta, I hope not, but it does worry me.

I have calmed down a lot since my diagnoses, I try to avoid drama, and choose my battles carefully. I used to be a larger than life character who specialized in kicken ass and taking names. I am no longer that guy....all I have now memories, and I cringe when I go there.
 
Hi big mark

Thank u
I admire you, I wish I'd learnt to avoid drama earlier and pick my battles better , thankfully those bringing the drama have left or I hardly see now , man it's made life calmer , I love them but couldn't handle them and finally took a step back .

I already had anxiety and depression, they played with my meds and made things worse so now I'm cold turkey and just have diazepam when I feel a mood coming on or know I'll find something confronting eg. First time someone has to brush my teeth , I'm suprisingly better without them. I think strategies is best

I too cringe looking back I know how that feels. In more ways than one!
 
I have recently moved back in with my parents as my house was getting hard to get around and my frustration with my loss of independence was taking a toll on my relationship with my common law bfriend/husband. I have had to take a deep hard look at my relationships with my family. I try to tell my mom each day that something she did for me she did really well. Like "i really like my hair today" or "the way u helped me into the shower made it easier." She seems to like that. Being young, i am 35 and having to rely on your parents is hard. Im not sure the frustration ever goes away at least for me as soon as i get over the frustration of loosing something i loose something else and that makes it a never ending cycle.
 
Thanks trixie
That's a great idea , I'll try that with mum :)
I'm sorry about your relationship
All the best,
Kylie
 
I really like that strategy Trixie of finding something positive in the care you have received each day and acknowledging it with thanks. This could help you to transition better to being cared for, and as a CALS I can assure you that any thanks for something done well is a huge spirit lifter. CALS feel so helpless too. We don't expect to be thanked constantly, or to be treated like saints. But a thank you goes a long way at the same time.

When my Chris was having a good day he would always say thanks, or give a little smile/nod of thanks. When he was angry about anything the thanks would be painfully obvious in their absence. This was tough as it was like a punishment - I'm angry so you are going to suffer for it. Now I learned to accept it, not rise to the behaviour, but if you can be sure to always find something good every day, your carers will notice it and it will make a difference for them! It will also help them to help you better when you are understandably irritated and frustrated at the disease, rather than feeling it is directed at them. You've made me really smile!
 
I do have to laugh a little:) trixie when I did what you said when mum showered me , she started laughing and said your just trying to make me feel good. Funny lady can't get anything past her :) :) :)
 
Any laugh is a good laugh kylie. Smart mom. At the very least it lightens the mood.
 
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