Meltdown

[alswife77]

Every once in a while I just meltdown. Whenever my husband wants to show me how to do something I will need to know when he is gone I just lose it. I know I will need to take care of the pool and the bills and other things that I don't do but I just feel that the more I learn the time we have together is getting shorter. I know it may be a silly analogy but I have it in my head that once I learn all this he will leave me and that scares the heck out of me. I know I have to do this for him to feel better about how I will go on without him but it puts me in a terrible funk. Thanks for listening.

Carol

 

[Nuts]

Carol, I so understand.

I can't allow myself to feel most of the time. My husband also spends a lot of time preparing me, but he's always instructed, so it's not a huge change, but every now and then I slip and the pain grabs me, and I can't breath. Antidepressants are my friend...I was crying every day when I finally accepted that I couldn't control my grief any more. Now life is good--we laugh and joke and I can fight off the tears when I'm taken by surprise.

Sweetheart, try to think of your preparedness as a tribute to the man you love. If he's as much like mine as he sounds, no matter how much you learn he will always think of more to teach. It's how he contributes now.

Holding your hand...

Becky

 

[cheerleader]

Becky is so right, Carol. This is a tremendous outpouring of love from your hubby- and believe me, later you will appreciate it. We would sit down periodically and he would share information while I took copious notes. Here is who to call once a year to have the generator checked out, who to call and when for fertilizer, weed control, etc., change the oil at this time, care of the humidifier, water salt tank, etc. probably the hardest was a list of his friends' phone numbers to call when the time came to contact them. Now I am so grateful that his loving support is still there, as I journey on without him. You are giving HIM a gift by accepting this offering and letting him know he will be by your side doing the " guy thing" even when his body isn't physically there. Yep, my guy is still taking care of me and yours will, too. Don't despair over the tears- meltdowns is part of loving someone. I am shedding buckets writing this with gratitude for our many years together and his continued presence in my heart. Hugs. Donna

 

[cheerleader]

Carol, just realized you are in Seminole. I am about 4 miles away from you for the winter. If you ever want to get together, private message me and we'll arrange a meeting ( cry session if you need it!). Donna

 

[alswife77]

Donna thank you. I will be in touch. That is so thoughtful and you can't believe how much better I feel knowing there is someone that I can finally talk to in person that knows what our family is going though