Old 11-26-2015, 10:04 PM #1 (permalink)
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Default Dark Days

I've been home for three weeks tomorrow. Just got the call that I should plan to come back in the next 24 hours as my dad is exhibiting signs of approaching death. I am so angry right now. Not only did we watch him suffer for the past three months, my mother is showing signs of possible dementia and things with her get worse each day. She's not eating, taking her meds and we're not even sure if she has a true sense of reality. Just feeling hopeless and helpless right now.
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Old 11-26-2015, 10:55 PM #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Days

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Originally Posted by starente15 View Post
I've been home for three weeks tomorrow. Just got the call that I should plan to come back in the next 24 hours as my dad is exhibiting signs of approaching death. I am so angry right now. Not only did we watch him suffer for the past three months, my mother is showing signs of possible dementia and things with her get worse each day. She's not eating, taking her meds and we're not even sure if she has a true sense of reality. Just feeling hopeless and helpless right now.
This is really rough, I know. Sometimes it seems like there's no break.

Your dad's caregiver should be able to push morphine to ensure there is no suffering.
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Old 11-26-2015, 11:35 PM #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Days

Hugs to you star. It is never easy when your parents are dying. I wish I had something inspired to tell you but I have nothing. I have simply taken it one day at a time. We are here for you. Steph
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Old 11-27-2015, 12:02 AM #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Days

I am so truly sorry Star. I am also hoping your mother is just heart broken and overwhelmed right now and therefore displaying these behaviors. I also wish I could find something to say to make you feel better. Just know we are here and you are in our thoughts.
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Old 11-27-2015, 03:19 AM #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Days

Oh star, I've been thinking of you so much today and now just logged in.

I am SO SORRY.

Get to your dad, you won't regret that - this is the only thing that matters just now, we will deal with the rest later and be here for you.
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Old 11-27-2015, 06:55 AM #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Days

Star, this is one of life's double whammies! One day at a time, my dear. Your mom may simply be overwhelmed (and heartsick!) and may bounce back. Just do what you have always done, and be there. So hard when you are far away. Hugs to you. Donna
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Old 11-27-2015, 07:06 AM #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Days

Stress makes you forgetful . They have been married a long time. Your mom is probably having incredible stress and anxiety.....as we all would. Hugs to you !
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Old 11-27-2015, 07:08 AM #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Days

Star, you are in my thoughts as you journey forth to be with your parents. I have also felt hopeless and helpless with regard to parents. My mom died in May. Take it moment by moment. Practice deep breathing and make sure to drink plenty of water. You are running a marathon of sorts so air and water are vital. We are with you in spirit. Kathleen
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Old 11-27-2015, 09:28 AM #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Days

"This too shall Pass" That is easy to say, although these dark days will eventually become lighter. No question you have a lot on your plate right now. It sounds though, that this may be the roughest spot - hard to say though. Know though, that you will have brighter days ahead
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Old 11-27-2015, 01:27 PM #10 (permalink)
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Thank you everyone for your thoughts and support. We leave tomorrow afternoon. I told my brother to tell him we're on the way.
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Old 11-27-2015, 03:51 PM #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dark Days

Safe travels. May he find peace. I have walked this path. I lost my dad after a long illness while my mom was in the throes of FTD/ALS. You will get through this and she may well rebound after as others have said
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Old 11-27-2015, 06:09 PM #12 (permalink)
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My heart goes with you, Star. Please keep us posted, and we will hold out for stress being the issue with your mom.
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Old 11-27-2015, 08:26 PM #13 (permalink)
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Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers
Love Gem
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Old 11-27-2015, 09:32 PM #14 (permalink)
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Thinking of you, Star. The strength to prevent unnecessary suffering is within all of us, for the finding.
--Laurie
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Old 11-28-2015, 09:38 AM #15 (permalink)
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You have been through a lot, Star. Please remember to take care of yourself, and travel safely.
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