Old 10-23-2015, 08:51 PM #1 (permalink)
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Default Disconnect Vent support and track

Hello I am just hoping to find some peace in the decision we made
My wife had a tracheotomy done two years ago and a feeding tube, She did not want these machines two years ago but I insisted on put that to her. We removed that last week after a conversation I just brought. Now I have a guilty conscience that is killing me. Please advise what to do. Her quality of life was not good but the decision just affected everybody and as of now we dont see any good of it. Lord please help me.
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Old 10-23-2015, 09:08 PM #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Disconnect Vent support and track

Josť,
I see that you posted in the Christian thread as well, so I will ask that anyone seeking religious discussion respond to you there.

I suggest that you find a therapist to talk to about this and receive grief counseling. You have something called survivor's guilt. When you are able to come to terms with that, you will be better able to help heal others in your family, who might benefit from counseling also.

You say the second decision affected everybody, but the person most affected was your wife, then and now.

When you removed the machines she did not want, that was only for the best for her, your wife, and that is all the good there is.

Peace to you.

--Laurie
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Old 10-23-2015, 09:25 PM #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Disconnect Vent support and track

I am already with two therapist people trying to help me but my guilt is so bad. She agreed with it but I ma not so sure if she did it because of me mentioning or she was tired. She had pains everyday had trouble going to bathroom and could hardly move her mouth but still ws the moment right. OMG I am really struggling with this.
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Old 10-23-2015, 09:42 PM #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Disconnect Vent support and track

Your heart knows if she was ready. No one else does.

But if she said she was, when by your account she was ready two years ago, why would you doubt her? And from your description, it is understandable that she was tired.

So in time you will stop wondering, because you know the answer, and keep living, doing the things she would want, helping your family, friends, church and community.
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