Chumpy
Active member
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2014
- Messages
- 42
- Reason
- CALS
- Diagnosis
- 11/2014
- Country
- US
- State
- Texas
- City
- Fort Worth
Emotions!
General counseling does not understand this disease or the people involved.... This is not text book.
So I feel I need help from those that truly understand.
My PAL/ husband, is very distant most of the time. Sleeping or drinking to pass out, or taking his mess to pass out. He barely takes the formula in his PEG, He still walks and does things for himself. I can understand him when he is sober, but I hen he drinks....good luck! That's also hen the falls happen. Both sober and drunk he has a tendency to snap at m. Say things in a rude way... Like how I'm stupid, or a dumb *****... If I get upset half the time he will apologize and try to explain what I did to make him say that, or how he should of handled dealing with me better. He's biggest complaint besides the disease it's self, is the exhaustion he feels. Takes too much energy to take a shower. Things like that. Of course he wishes he could still swallow food!
Now for the more personal side of things, he wants me to be more sexually assertive. He says he is sorry for not being able to please me, but he gets pissy, and irritated at me if I'm not being subservient. I feel guilty like I'm depriving him of something he may one day lose. But the flip side is I am a strong woman who believes and requires respect. When he is sloppy drunk, no I don't want too, when he belittles me, no I don't want too.... So I am in between a rock and a hard place, no pun intended! Is it the disease, should I turn the other cheek, forgive and give ? I get upset thinking he could step up and do better for himself, and that he is helping the disease progress, I'll admit that makes me distance from him. Should I learn to accept this behavior as it is his life, in the end he will have lost the time and life that he drinks and sleeps away? I know I sound harsh, I may have been make a few of you mad. But there it is all my heart layer out on this page!
Thank you,
God Bless
General counseling does not understand this disease or the people involved.... This is not text book.
So I feel I need help from those that truly understand.
My PAL/ husband, is very distant most of the time. Sleeping or drinking to pass out, or taking his mess to pass out. He barely takes the formula in his PEG, He still walks and does things for himself. I can understand him when he is sober, but I hen he drinks....good luck! That's also hen the falls happen. Both sober and drunk he has a tendency to snap at m. Say things in a rude way... Like how I'm stupid, or a dumb *****... If I get upset half the time he will apologize and try to explain what I did to make him say that, or how he should of handled dealing with me better. He's biggest complaint besides the disease it's self, is the exhaustion he feels. Takes too much energy to take a shower. Things like that. Of course he wishes he could still swallow food!
Now for the more personal side of things, he wants me to be more sexually assertive. He says he is sorry for not being able to please me, but he gets pissy, and irritated at me if I'm not being subservient. I feel guilty like I'm depriving him of something he may one day lose. But the flip side is I am a strong woman who believes and requires respect. When he is sloppy drunk, no I don't want too, when he belittles me, no I don't want too.... So I am in between a rock and a hard place, no pun intended! Is it the disease, should I turn the other cheek, forgive and give ? I get upset thinking he could step up and do better for himself, and that he is helping the disease progress, I'll admit that makes me distance from him. Should I learn to accept this behavior as it is his life, in the end he will have lost the time and life that he drinks and sleeps away? I know I sound harsh, I may have been make a few of you mad. But there it is all my heart layer out on this page!
Thank you,
God Bless