Friend has als

[dlfoster]

Hope this is where I need to ask this question on this website. I have a friend, been friends for 20 years. Unfortunately this person lives 1000 miles away from me now. I love my friend with all my heart and was so upset when I heard of her diagnosis. I can't afford to go see her often, although I am planning a trip in the next couple of months to see her.
My question is, what can I do that would mean the most to her to help her cope with ALS. I've texted, sent cards, but I feel like I could do more.
Does anyone have any ideas that would make her truly know that I care for her and that a day doesn't go by that she is not in my thoughts and prayers? I just feel so helpless as I'm sure she does. I wish I wasn't so far away from her so I could visit more often. She does have a support group in her town with her siblings, but I just want to do something that would make a difference in her life to show her how much I love her and miss her as my friend.

 

[gooseberry]

If she is able, do something with her that just the two of you used to share or do together when you visit. Just know she may get tired easily.

 

[cheerleader]

I would stock up on a stack of funny, uplifting cards from the dollar store- address and stamp them ahead of time - and send one out every few days with a brief message. Mail is such an important part of the day, especially as your friend becomes more and more housebound. Sounds like you are doing all you can to let her know she is loved and cared about.

 

[Nikki J]

I agree keeping in touch. Snailmail, email,ecards,skype if she is able. It means a lot. Sadly a lot of PALS find their so- called friends vanish even when they are physically close. Even if she is unable to answer as her disease progresses keep sending her messages. And have fun when you visit!

 

[Nuts]

Phone calls, mail, email, and Skype. And treat her like you always have. So many people change the way they approach PALS and all they really want is normalacy. If her brain is not affected, then she has the same sense of humor she always had and appreciates the same type of discussions (not always about ALS). I find that my husband talks a LOT more than he ever has. People who talked non-stop made him crazy, but now that's him. Perhaps he's sharing what he can while he can. I so appreciate people willing to listen when he does that.

It may be nice for her to have a friend who is just a friend and not a caretaker, so know that you are important to her.

 

[skipper66]

What a great friend to her you already are just by asking this question. I agree with Nuts saying that she will probally love having a friend other then a caregiver all the time. She probally would just appreciate some normalcy to her life. I wish you were my friend. You sound like a type of person I'd like in my corner. God bless you, Kim

 

[MaxEidswick]

>I would stock up on a stack of funny, uplifting cards from the dollar store- address and stamp them ahead of time - and send one out every few days with a brief message. Mail is such an important part of the day, especially as your friend becomes more and more housebound. Sounds like you are doing all you can to let her know she is loved and cared about.

Ditto that! great idea!

 

[dlfoster]

Thank you all so much for your comments and ideas. Sounds like I need to just keep doing what I am doing. A great point that I have to remember is not to treat her differently. Although her body is turning against her, her mind is still the same one that made us friends so long ago.
I have been so lucky in my life. I've never had anyone in my family or close friends become ill or have a debilitating disease. We don't realize how lucky we are until it happens to us or a loved one. If nothing else comes out of this, it has made me a more caring, appreciative person and to truly understand just how lucky I am. To realize you NEVER know what another person is going through and to be patient because you don't know the unseen burdens other people carry everyday.
I know I don't know any of you wonderful people, but I wish you all the best and have you in my prayers daily. Thank you again so much for your thoughts and comments.
Regards,
DLFoster