Feeling guilty!

[slopokahontas]

I really want to take my family on a cruise! I want to go while I can still walk and talk. I don't have much money, so I feel guilty that I want to spend what we do have on making good memories! Almost like I'm being irresponsible.

I feel guilty when I hear people tell my kids they need to step up more, because I'm sick. Like I'm robbing them of a childhood! I do everything I can to try to ease their fears as long as possible. So, when people remind them, it ticks me off! I know they are trying to help.

 

[Nikki J]

Unless you are taking food out of their mouths I say go for the cruise. We took a trip the first year my sister was diagnosed and it was awesome. I have an indelible memory of her smiling face- a moment of pure joy. I will never forget and I do not think her daughter will ever forget.
We took another trip this year with both our families. Harder because she is very advanced now and I am now limited too. But it still has wonderful memories that our families will treasure.

It is a fine line with the kids. I think it is and will be important for them to know they did all they could to help you. Yes they need to be kids but they are part of the family and need to contribute. Good luck with finding the balance

 

[vzandt]

The memories are the most important thing you could ever give them. And them knowing they helped is important to.

 

[LoveMyKids]

I think a cruise sounds great. It would be something the kids would always remember.

There are so many well meaning people that say all the wrong things. Maybe you could just reassure your children that you know that they are helping and that you will be the one to let them know when you need something.

 

[slopokahontas]

You are all right! I'm going for the cruise! As far as my kids helping, they are always willing to help when I ask, I just don't like people reminding them nonstop that I'm sick, especially my little ones that don't understand! I'm trying very hard to try to let go of the guilt and enjoy life! I'm sure it's a feeling many of us have for our CALS too!

 

[cheerleader]

Slop- if you are telling your CALS and kids you love them on a regular basis, you should have NO guilt. Those words are what sustains a CALS through this. Remember, you would be doing the same for your spouse if the situation was reversed! That is what marriage is all about.

 

[Barbie]

I am not sure how old your kids are, but let them know that you appreciate them and you think they are really helping you. when people say they need to step up in front of them, be sure and smile and tell the person how great your kids are and how much they help! be sure your kids hear you say that to others as well. As far as vacationing while you are able, your family will want the memories you are going to make now more than ever, so go now! it will be fun for everyone.

 

[azgirl]

Yeah, let go of the guilt, keep hugging those kids a lot and go make some memories together. Sounds like a plan!

 

[skipper66]

Glad you have decided to go on the cruise. Building beautiful memories is much more important then wealth. Sounds like you have wonderful loving kids. Take alot of pictures and enjoy! Bon Voyage!

 

[hn7609]

I want to go while I can still walk and talk.

You will certainly enjoy the trip more while you can still walk. The greatest part is the break that your wife and children will get, A cruise is a great treat........you literally have to do nothing except change your clothes. Your family has been working hard caring for you, now its their turn to be cared for by the ships staff. Go for it.

 

[smoochiegal]

Hi slopokahontas,
I had a wonderful therapist recently tell me that guilt should only ever really be there if you have wronged someone...
I had to think on that one for a long while. But it makes sense, we spend so much time feeling 'guilty' but we have usually done nothing to 'wrong' someone to make us feel guilty. So that really did change my attitude about the 'guilt' that I was feeling.
We are not wronging people, we are doing the best that we can given the crappy disease we are dealing with.
Let go of the guilt and just love and make memories.
Hugs and I hope your cruise is incredible!
Cheryl