SusanSt, the last time Chris got on the tractor it took 2 men to get him on and off ... once on it though, he could grip the steering wheel ok and with it in low range and 4wd he felt so much freedom, like he never felt in a wheelchair.
I think that when PALS isolate themselves, due to all the very valid reasons being talked about here, it is so hard for the CALS to take the isolation too.
Schmid describes it so well - getting past the inertia. I know that often Chris enjoyed company once they arrived and things got started far more than he would have admitted to me. Sure it is easier to just say no and stay isolated in some ways, but then in other ways, surely it is actually good for everyone, and maybe helps with the loss and grief if you think about it.
I found that because Chris's kids stayed away a lot, they were often shocked when they would finally come after a month or more to see the amount of progression. I always wished they would come every week or at least 2, so that they got more time with him in the early stages and were being eased in to the progression more.
Sometimes when people stay away for a while (either because they stay away or because PALS isolate themselves), it's even harder for both to get together and see how much progression may have happened.
Exposure is the best way for everyone to deal with, and get used to what is happening together. It's easier to see people if you get used to seeing people if ya know what I mean.
my 2 cents