Depression

[COSister]

My sister is coming up on a year since her first symptoms - and was doing very well. We really enjoyed our ocean swims just last week.

Any ideas or advice -- how do we deal with depression - just when you think you can handle all that ALS has in store for her and our family. And then additional family issues seem overwhelming. Seems so hard to get back to that mental state of being able to live as well as we can - when life throws such difficulties at us.

 

[zoohouse]

Welcome to this forum, and thank you for being such an amazing sister. This is probably one of the hardest disease processes there are to deal with and depression is very common. I would say that the majority of PALS and CALS are taking some form of antidepressant to help them through this. Counselling is also helpful whether from a church pastor or secular councillor. We have a huge resource right here on this forum, and I know that there are times that the prayer and encouragement that I have received here has pulled me through some dark times. My husband and I are Christians and find that our faith has given us so much solace, not to mention the support we get from our church family. For non-christians I recommend meditation. I hope this helps, but I know that there will be others that will answer this post with great advice.

Paulette

 

[azgirl]

Cosister is my sister and she has been unbelievable support. Recent issues have left me feeling pretty down but really think I will be able to push through it. I've got a great team surrounding me. Try not to worry too much,sister!
-kay

 

[bigmark1954]

Cosister is my sister and she has been unbelievable support. Recent issues have left me feeling pretty down but really think I will be able to push through it. I've got a great team surrounding me. Try not to worry too much,sister!
-kay

I immediately thought of you Kay, when I read your sisters post! Just knew she was talking about you. Great that you have a good support system in place. Hope you are hanging in there, and things have lightened up for you.
One thing I am learning is that with this stuff there are good days and bad days....when it gets rough for me, is more than one bad day .

 

[skipper66]

You might try getting on a low dose of a antidepressant to see if it helps a little. But, please be cautious with them. I have battled depression for years and some of the meds can cause alot more harm then good. I had one even cause me to have stroke like symptoms a few years back. Thank Godness they caught it in time and they were able to reverse it. Same with counselors. Some are good and some can cause your anxiety to escalate through the roof. I think just coming on this forum and venting and talking to your peers is your best option. Kim

 

[Barbie]

Paulette gives perfect advice! don't waste time fighting depression--get on meds. our lives are so much better on them! ALS does a number on the whole family and there is no shame in meds.

 

[Santa joe]

I agree with the meds suggestion. Dealing with ALS is like an emotional roller coaster. There's no way getting around it. For my pals and myself, we started off so positive. Not in the fact that this would go away but we would make the best of everyday. With the progression of this disease comes different mental challenges. I remember one of the CALS telling me her doctor thought she was bi-polar. NO, she is in the world of ALS.

For me, this forum has been the best place for me. I've made so many wonderful friends that I consider family. They have all lifted me up from overwhelming situations so many times. I don't know what I would do without this forum.

You are a great sister.

Debbie

 

[nebrhahe53]

Kay I'm glad you have a sister that cares so much for you. Most of my family, knowing that I will die before them, even though I am the youngest has a hard time dealing with it, and I can understand that too. Its pretty hard to be optimistic with a disease like this one.
Personally, I keep myself on anti anxiety drugs and antidepressants constantly now-only way I can even begin to come to terms with it, and not always then either.

 

[affected]

the mention of ocean swims gave it away for me too ...

but the fact you have come here to where Kay gives and receives so much support is fantastic!

Now I'm not sure, but I got the impression from your post that maybe you feel the need for help with depression as well as maybe others in the family.

There are many things that got me through - no one thing will do it, dealing with ALS is as big as it gets!

It's kind of all been said but sometimes it helps to hear things more than once:
1. anti depressant meds are a must if you feel you can't quite stay on top. They work best if you start them early, as you prevent falling into total despair and low doses are usually able to keep you afloat. If you think you should just battle along, then you find yourself suddenly in a deep hole and it takes a lot to get out.

2. counselling - it's true there are good and bad counsellors. Find out what is available in your area and be prepared to work at finding the right person to help. As Paulette says, it could be a good pastor, the point is to find someone who you 'click' with. Phone organisations and ask to speak to the counsellor they would assign you first and 'interview' them. Get a good idea in your head of what they would be like. Don't be afraid to choose another. I had a brilliant counsellor (well I'm seeing him again next week so it's not quite past tense lol), but I can't say he would be brilliant for the next person. He was for me, so I stuck with him.

3. the peer support here is brilliant, it will help a lot, I needed all of these supports and still do (except I'm off the meds now)

4. Friends/family - only those that 'get it' and can give you support. Never underestimate the value of a coffee with a friend, a walk, a phone call, someone shopping for you. Whatever it is doesn't matter so much as accepting support. You never know when you will get to pay it all back sometime when they need you, so take it.

Kay it's wonderful that your sister care so much eh? She can't help but worry, and you better fill us in here if you do need extra support xx

OK off my high horse ...

 

[azgirl]

Hello all,

I admit to having a hard time the past two weeks, but really believe it was situational brought on by watching my daughter go through so much pain so soon after giving birth. I'm trying very hard to get back to the peaceful state so that I don't waste anytime while I'm still fairly mobile (no bulbar symptoms yet).

I have an extremely supportive husband, two adult children, aunts, uncles and many close friends who have all pitched in to help and entertain me. Really, I am feeling blessed by having all this support (it is still hard to accept it, though, as I loved the helper role all my life) And then there is my sister, who is hurting as badly or even more so, as we could not be closer.

I still want to try a bit longer to get through this without any more meds, but trust me, I will seek more help if it drags on much longer.

All of you have been wonderful and it is appreciated...I would say more than you know, but you all do know!

Here's two loving sisters, taken just after December 9th...the worst day of our lives.

 

[Santa joe]

I am also blessed with a wonderful sister. She has lived 2 doors down from me for the past 23 years. In all those years, never a harsh word. I am 10 years older and have always taken care of her. Now she is emotionally taking care of me. She comes over everyday to help me pull my pals up in the bed. We act like we haven't seen each other in years. Just talking to her makes me feel better. Sisters by birth - friends by choice. You and I are lucky to have our sisters in our lives.

Debbie

 

[adozi]

Antidepressants are a necessity in my family. My husband suffers from depression anyway, and my mom and i (I'm the pALS) started when i got diagnosed. I saw a therapist for the first six months or so, my husband still sees his. His mom died the same year. I recommend reading 'my' post on staying mentally strong after diagnosis. It's written by someone else, but i copied it here And there are some great comments below it. It's good advice for family, too. I'm sorry your family is having a rough time right now. It seems like tragedy and diagnosis go together so often... Good luck.

 

[SMP51]

Kay, and your wonderful loving sister, like you I took a wonderful, albeit short, respite weekend for the first time recently. And it was wonderful. I to had always thus far done a good job of "handling it", but a break was long over due. the odd thing was after a few days being back in the thick of it I was over whelmed! I think the couple days of a normal life, of seeing what I should have, of being away from having to face it all kind of made our reality that much worse all over again. After being home a week I realized I had to pull up my big girl panties and get on with it! But who would have thought a respite from the madness would undo me when it is supposed to help! good grief! lol
I am on the same page as you Kay, I fault no one for taking antidepressants and they have their place. But I feel there are a lot of depressed feeling I will have because of this disease that are normal and that I just need to slogh through them. If I hit the bottom and cant get up then I will seek help... but until then iiwii- it is what it is, and we take it a day at a time

 

[COSister]

Thanks to everyone for writing -- always a hard day for me leaving my sister -- but we will be back together on another ocean vacation soon. Just not sure we will be able to get in this time. It will be a little colder. I am so glad Kay has this group on the forum supporting her. And me, too. All the advice and suggestions are great. We're trying to get back to our meditations -- "two sisters watching Wimbledon" -- just wish it was together. - Marcia

(I may even make it back to church this morning -- depending on the tennis match -- and my ability to be with people who sometimes seem too happy.)

 

[Janie H]

Zoloft made all the difference for me, I was on it a month before my diagnoses,I couldn't stop crying thinking about not seeing my grandson grow up, now I don't get depressed, I planned my own funeral all by myself, I laugh a lot and praise GOD for everything, good and bad. When you are ready Zoloft may be something to try.
God Bless,
Janie