My Daughter's Father

[JBGIdaho]

Hello. I'm new. My ex-husband and the father of my 16 year old daughter got his "official" diagnosis yeterday. I know that ex-spouse relationships vary. Drasticaly vary. But for the purpose of getting good feedback, let me just state that my ex husband is my friend and is the most amazing father to our daugher. My focus now is to ensure that we have a plan that minimizes the burden on my daughter. I am very much looking forward to some good advice. Cheers!

 

[ottawa girl]

Sorry about the diagnoses. You are in a tough spot!

I can tell you that I know of a few divorced couples who moved back in together to support the children and x spouse. It's not an easy decision and a horrendous undertaking to be sure. Those people I know have made it work but at great sacrifices to themselves. Alternatively, if your x has the resources and friends and family to provide the care he will require, then your main task would be to help your daughter through this most challenging journey. Your daughter is too young to be a caregiver, but old enough to help out and be there. I would urge you to research as much as you can, and find a support group which is age appropriate. Your local ALS office is an ideal place to start. The more information you have ahead of time, the better you will be able to help your daughter and to prepare her, a bit at the time.

 

[jacquie]

Hi. So sorry for the diagnosis of your ex. It is so hard, especially with your young daughter. I was diagnosed in July 2012, and also have a great relationship with my ex-husband. We own a business together and are great friends, and certainly, co-parents of our two daughters. He has been great, stepping up and offering any help I may need. I hope you can do the same for yours, as he progresses in his disease. Stay in touch on the forum with the great people here (I am new here but see the kindness expressed by the others) for advise and wisdom, and encourage him to do the same.

Living life fully day by day,
Jacquie

 

[Barbie]

Good for you for having a good relationship with your ex and wanting to protect your daughter and help him! That takes a mature, kind person to think like that.

Does he have more family that just the two of you? you should try to get with them and see how the entire family can take on his care. He will need help and alot of it. I would try to get others on board now so it doesn't fall onto you and your daughter's shoulders alone.

 

[my3sunz42]

So sorry you had to join us, but darn glad you found this sight. Please know you are not the only ex-spouse out there. My 1st husband received his diagnosis in 2010 - fortunately it has been a rather slow progressing form. One positive result from his diagnosis is we have become a bigger family ... both he & I remarried & had additional children. As a result of his diagnosis, we have grown closer and now we all consider ourselves family. Our little children are so attached that they call each other step-siblings.

The beginning of this journey can be tough with so many unknowns and so many things out of your control. Keep your chin up & know that you're NEVER alone.

 

[skipper66]

It warmed my heart to read this post. It is great to hear about good-hearted people who still care about the well-being of their ex-s. You know what it shows me about these people? It shows that they have real class. They are the kind of person I want and try to be like. Welcome to the forum but am so sorry for your need to be here. Kim

 

[retiredmus2010]

I agree Kim. That was an inspiring post. Many people need to see the sacrifice this woman has and is about to make on behalf of her daughter. G.

 

[JBGIdaho]

Thank you to everyone for your kind and encouraging words. My husband and I attended my ex's 43rd birthday celebration yesterday where I got to reconnect with his family (most of whom I haven't seen in many years). It was a very heart warming, but very emotional day as over 100 people who care about him got together to show support.

At the end of the month he will be moving in with a sister that only lives about 40 minutes from me (they currently live almost 2 hours away). So I am very happy about that.

Thank You All Again,

Jamie

 

[my3sunz42]

That's great news Jamie! We're going this weekend to an ALS fundraiser (Evening of Hope - Milwaukee) where my 1st husband will be introducing the key note speaker, Steve Gleason. It's always a bitter sweet event - but it means so much to Jim and it's so great to spend the evening with him & his family. I'm so proud of you and am here if you ever need an ear ... sounds like we have a lot in common.
cheryl

 

[maccdonaldd]

Its good for your daughter that your ex husband is taking much care of your daughter.Its really a good social deed and highly appreciable.
You are lucky.Wish you good luck.