Thanks guys! Atlease I know that I am not CRAZY when you all are telling me stuff that I have been feeling for a while. The thing is just getting the others to understand it and getting my partner to back me up on it! He seems to let a lot ride and tell me not to worry about it because he can no longer get up and o anything about it. So in return I just get to eat it.
As far as the Sister she just this week has started a job, and if I have any suggestions or ask her to do anything she does the complete opp. She hates me and is only living here because she has no where else to go. I know it sounds awful but if I had my way she would have been out on her bum quite some time ago. BUT she and his children are all my parnter has left so I try very hard to bite my tounge and get along. If I am talking funny it is because my tounge is getting short! lol. Her and I's diffrences came one night when she had been drinking which she can not handle and proceded to rant and rave for about 20min calling her brother a retard and telling him to get up and lift his hands knowing he could not. I tried to stay out of it and let them have their sibling rilvery but after 20min I could not take it I didn't say a word but picked up her beer and dumped it out she got physical and I pushed her she landed on her rear about 4 times and she has hated me since. In her eyes I had no right to get involved. So that is a big part as why I get no help from her because she looks at it that if she helps care for her brother she is helping me and she is dead set against that. And when she is lazy and non helpful so are the kids. I have a little more control over them but not much. And the attitude you get when you do ask them to do some thing is sometimes more than I can take. It is easier to do it myself and be mad about it than to deal with the attitude and the argument of the whole house.
As far as me and my partner we are not technically married, we are common law, we have filed taxes together and lived together for over a year, but have never had a ceremony. And yes I am not looking forward to the mess that will come when he passes, because it will not matter what is on paper or what he has set up if I am to get or if I say anything she is going to fight me tooth and nail. It is not going to be a peaceful deal. And I am not a fighter, I am too passive when it comes to these things.
When it comes to the others helping.... His sister has borrowed too much money in the time she was off so she is still not going to help financailly even when she does start getting paid because she owes too many other people money... those are her words, and she is to tired to go to the store or cook when she gets home from work then she has to go feed her horse. And the kids always seem to find things to do with their friends or go burrie themselves in their rooms, even if you ask them to come out and sit with him so you can go to the store or go outside and mow, as soon as he shuts his eyes they think he is asleep and they leave, so when I come back he is sitting in the living room by himself. Most of the time wiggling to scratch something or wanting to change the chanel, turn up the TV and cant, so then he is frusterated and guess who gets the blunt of anger.... When you ask them to go to the store they don't know what you want, or they can't remember the pin # for the debit card... the list is too long you just go...
Are all familys like this or just this one. I LOVE my partner but with all the anger and frusteration on both of our parts plus trying to deal and keep my cool with all of the other it is definatly taking its tole on our relationship. There are days, and they are starting to become more often, I just want to walk out the door and never look back. I have considered geting my own place and just coming over on my duty hours and letting the rest of them deal with the rest. But then when I look at the big picture the only person I am punishing is my partner. But after typing that maybe it would make him stand behind me a little more, forcing them to step up.
I have to say I am really thankful for being directed to this site to get some of this off my chest, and be able to get some positive responce and putting some more brain power in the brainstorm as to what I can do! I appreciat you guys already! THANK YOU!