My wife's crying and sadness with ALS is getting to me

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hangingon1

Distinguished member
Joined
Jan 29, 2012
Messages
199
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
09/2009
Country
US
State
Georgia
City
Chamblee
My wife has had ALS for 3 yrs. and up till about 3 months ago crying was an everyday occasion, but not excessive. Now, it is almost overwhelming. She cries a lot and sometimes she gets over it quickly and sometimes it lasts. She refuses to take anything, although I believe she needs to be on an antidepressant. I sometimes ignore it, but it still gets to me. I makes me sad also. I am emotionally wrenched from this disease and look back my old life before ALS and long for those times when life was normal. I took it for granted that normal would always be the case. How little did I know.
 
Re: My wife's crying and sadness is getting to me

How does she take in nutrition? If she is fed through the PEG, then you could crush meds and mix them with formula. She may have emotional lability or just be extremely depressed.
 
Re: My wife's crying and sadness is getting to me

With the blessing of Terry's doctors, I slipped antidepressants in with his other pills. I cannot imagine how he would have handled the devastation of ALS without them.
 
Re: My wife's crying and sadness is getting to me

I can vouch for the effectiveness of antidepressants. I have PLS, not ALS, but the inability to walk had me seriously depressed and suicidal, as I had been very physically active when healthy. Finally, I asked my neurologist for help, and he prescribed Effexor XR 150 MG, for me. It stopped the suicidal thoughts immediately. It works much better than therapy.

I'm sorry for what you and your wife are going through. Try to get her to give antidepressants a shot. There is no point in being miserable if can be mitigated even a little.

Jim
 
Re: My wife's crying and sadness is getting to me

CJ, I hadn't realized you lost your husband so recently. I'm sorry for your loss.

-Jim
 
Re: My wife's crying and sadness is getting to me

I hope you can get her to accept something for both of your sakes! Even a mild antidepressant would help some. Sorry you are going through this. Do you have help?
 
Re: My wife's crying and sadness is getting to me

When you ask her why she is crying what does she say?

My PALS takes anti depressants but sometimes when he crys he says its literally because he feels sad. He says its the loss of his future with us all the hurts so much.
 
Re: My wife's crying and sadness is getting to me

I have to respond to your post, as I know exactly how you feel about longing for the years before ALS. My husband has had ALS for about 18 months now. It was slow at first, but the past 6 months has progressed rather quickly. It helps if you make a little bit of time for yourself. Even 15minutes to be alone and do something for you. I was a runner, and try to get out a couple of times a week for about a half-hour. It relieves all of the pent up stress and anxiousness this illness brings on to family members. I find I cope better and keep an upbeat attitude around my husband. Try not to let your wife see you sad. When I feel sad I go sit in my car and cry alone for a little bit so as not to let my husband know. I read once that no matter how bad a situation is, it can only get better. Be strong. -Marilyn
 
Re: My wife's crying and sadness is getting to me

Dear hangingon1:
Have you thought about a little something for your self in the chemical department? A little 10mg of an antidepressant may just take the edge off for you. It will take 6- 7 weeks until you notice a difference but it may make all the difference in the world for your own sanity.
I also, walk outside early in the morning while my pals is still in his hospital bed. Exercise raise endorphins! Best wishes.
 
Re: My wife's crying and sadness is getting to me

I'm just starting down this road, Hangingon1 and can understand why you're feeling emotionally wrecked? Who wouldn't? I can't answer many questions these days, but that's one I CAN answer! Everyone who walks away from someone with the disease - or keeps them at a safe distance. Those are the people that aren't feeling emotionally wrecked. I sooo admire you for all you've done and all you're doing. You're an angel :)
 
Re: My wife's crying and sadness is getting to me

Your wife has more than enough reason to be depressed. As pointed out in other posts emotional lability is not uncommon. Another side effect often seen in ALS is Pseudobulbar affect (PBA), emotional lability, labile affect or emotional incontinence refers to a neurologic disorder characterized by involuntary crying or uncontrollable episodes of crying and/or laughing, or other emotional displays. PBA occurs secondary to neurologic disease or brain injury. Patients may find themselves crying uncontrollably at something that is only moderately sad, being unable to stop themselves for several minutes. Episodes may also be mood-incongruent: a patient might laugh uncontrollably when angry or frustrated, for example.

It may be helpful to tell your wife that she might be experiencing a different but not uncommon effect of ALS. Explore with her MD and try meds that might help regulate. For myself, I distract from the sadness and negativity through reading and working on creative projects. Even though I am locked in, I use my PC to communicate and enjoy researching on the internet. Help your wife find value in choosing life rather than focusing on loss. As difficult the challenge ALS is personally and to the family, there is an equal gift if we search for it.

Best to you and your family.
 
Re: My wife's crying and sadness is getting to me

HanginOn, this may help you.

Public broadcasting Stations ran a tv show on this issue.

As smartbrain mentioned there's this condition called PBA and it impacts quite a few people with ALS and other medical conditions as well like Stroke, MS and alzheimers.

It is not depression but is often times mistaken for it and perhaps can even cause depression from people being upset over these episodes.

There was a drug approved about a year ago for this issue which is called Nuedexta. If that is what this is it might help your wife to know that it's really a seperate medical condition entirely.

Good luck to you and your wife. And please be sure to make some time for yourself as well.
 
Sounds like Emotional Liability to me. But if she dones't want to take anything..that is up to her. Just try to be there for her...maybe have her talk it out...or you could hug it out. One time I cried and Cried...and literally could not stop...my mom, notiorusly known for ignoring things kept trying to say things which made it worse and then she just gave up and let me hug her...I hugged her for a good 20 minutes until I calmed down. Try this next time it may help. Good luck to you.
 
Kel, I've done that myself... no matter how old you get, Mom's are the best to hug when you can't stop crying. I feel blessed that mine is still with me!
 
I have my times also, but no one ever knows as I am alone. But it is harder to not get angry, I never use to get angry (but then again the people that do come around are all messed up, makes me cry and be angry)...Check with her doc as their are drugs that can help her.
 
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