Old 12-22-2006, 10:06 PM #1 (permalink)
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Default Do ever wonder why us

Today I got a call from a very close friend who has been battling Cancer for 2 years now. They told her today she had more spots on her liver and here she goes back to
Chemo for once a wk. for no telling how long. I just lost it I hadn't ask God why yet,
but sometimes you wonder. I would like just some understanding about it. I know there are people out there worse than I am at the moment. When I told my nail tech
she said why couldn't someone on death row get this instead of kind loving people.
I am thankful for everyday I Have and I feel like I'm at peace with dying. As one friend said it's not the dying it's what you have to go through to get there. I believe in
Jesus Christ so I know where I'll be going when I leave here and I do have peace in that. I guess with the holiday's we are all a little over the edge. I just don't understand
it at times. WISHING YOU ALL A VERY MERRY BLESSED CHRISTMAS AND A WONDERFUL
NEW YEAR! Rhonda
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Old 12-22-2006, 10:26 PM #2 (permalink)
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Rhonda,
If you read this on paper rather than a computer screen, you would see the tears on the paper. Oh yes, I've asked, I've been so very angry. I watched my uncle, then my brother go through ALS, and I have absolutely NO misunderstanding about what is going to happen. I wondered how God could allow this to happen --- well, I have to blame SOMEone! My sister-in-law told me, "When your brother died, God shed a tear."
Well, I've seen too many people die, and most don't get to do it in bed with all the family gathered around. Some people drown, others die in fires, 15,000 are murdered in this country every year, maybe another 30,000 die in auto accidents. A friend of mine recently died from ovarian cancer, and I know that was a terrible ordeal.
I suppose the point is, we don't get to choose when or how. If I get past the Judgment Day business, I'd like to ask about this.
In the meantime, I'm paraphrasing AL's quote: It is my choice to be happy, It is my choice to cope; It is my choice to challenge this thing; It is my choice to give, not take; and it's my choice to deal with this with my head held high. I will. By God I will.
Be at peace. Merry Christmas!
Alan
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Old 12-22-2006, 11:23 PM #3 (permalink)
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I myself have asked this question over and over again. The tears I have cried could fill an ocean. My loved one is a wonderful person. A beautiful human being, very loving and caring. He always has cared about others and still cares for others, still trys very hard to bring happiness to those around him. He is truly precious and I do not understand this at all. I have looked up at the stars at night through tears and asked why?

I went to cardiologist recently because I myself was having a bit of a problem, nothing serious, he said to me you have a little problem with the heart, nothing serious, we can get you feeling better, I looked at him and said I have two problems with my heart, one the problem you have found and the other a problem that I know you will never ever be able to fix. I have a broken heart doctor. Thirty two years ago my heart was full of happiness, now my heart is full of sadness and I know you or anyone else will never be able to fix it. Do you have a cure for a heavy heart? My husband is my best friend and I love him dearly. This christmas I am holding him tight and I never want to let go because I am so afraid of this horrible illness called ALS. This illness has changed my loved one and I forever.

Sandy.
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Old 12-23-2006, 12:29 AM #4 (permalink)
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Default not a whole lot of sense, just late nite rambling

Death, who, how, when and why it happens is one of those things we will never, as humans, fully accept and understand. I grew up knowing that my grandfather, my great uncle, and my uncle all died from ALS. Call it ignorance, but I never thought my generation would have to go through this like my family did 25 years ago. But here we sit, slapped in the face with reality, my mother just passed in October, and two of her cousin's have ALS right now.
I'm finding Christmas is no peace of cake this year. My mother made Christmas special.

I think maybe GOD takes the good ones too soon for a good reason. How many times do we find ourselves saddened by the death of an innocent child or great person? Now we should ask ourselves how often we cry over the death of a child molester or serial killer? Is the latter not the more sad of the two. When the innocent or the great pass we should rejoice and be grateful they are with Jesus, but when the ones we deem unworthy of our sadness die, we should pray they knew salvation if only for a minute. We should pray that GOD won even the hardest of hearts.

My mother was the greatest person I have ever known. She taught me about Jesus, life, and love, that death is the only guarantee in life. She taught me that we should try to look at people through Jesus' eyes and not judge them. It's one of the hardest things to do but the most rewarding. To know that by GOD alone you can see the good in even the worst person. My mom told me when she was diagnosed, if one person came to know salvation through Jesus Christ by her dying from this disease, than it was all worth it in the end. What grace and courage she had. To be able to set aside your own disappointment, to care about others so much, to be willing to die for their salvation. I can only hope if death ever stares me in the face like that, I will have just as much courage and compassion for others.

Sorry I tend to ramble. Topics like this make my mind race a mile a minute.
We can't possibly understand the plan, but we can certainly trust our planner.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL,
May the holidays bring you peace and joy!
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Old 12-23-2006, 06:02 AM #5 (permalink)
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there are days i think the worst part of this disease is that it is bearable. yesterday the twitches and spasms started in my neck and shoulders, this morning my head is difficult to hold is an upright position, it simply feels like it has gained weight. every so often it takes another part of my body leaving me weaker, but i bare it and try not to snivel to much. words come out of my mouth that sound like they come from another person, i smile with a crooked mouth and keep on bearing the confinement of my private little hell waiting for my ride to the other side. i, like most of you stay hidden from my caregivers. they encourage me and offer all kinds of professional assistance to help me through this journey. i agree to the offers of help, to refuse would be too difficult for those who love and care for me. i bare it all, for i have a bearable disease.

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Old 12-23-2006, 04:10 PM #6 (permalink)
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I believe everything happens for a reason, and that every situation can be turned into something positive. I view every circumstance as an opportunity. After I had a chance to accept my diagnosis, I began to look for ways to use my having this disease to make the world a better place. In helping others, I feel my life has a purpose and I am rarely down or negative. After my initial grieving period, I have never thought "Why did this happen to me?". I am grateful for the opportunity to see the world from this unique perspective and to treat every moment with the reverence it deserves.

Please don't take this post as a "holier than though" sermon. I am only trying to present a different way to view your situation. I don't like to see you suffer.

Warmly,

Mike
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Old 12-24-2006, 02:26 PM #7 (permalink)
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Hello Sandy- I read your post on having a heavy heart and knowing your time together is short. I can't find words to express how awful this must be for both of you. My sincerest wish for you both is that you both find a way to make this holiday memorable so that when the inevitable comes you will have warm memories to hold on to.

Merry Christmas and please keep in touch. Cindy
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Old 12-27-2006, 09:48 PM #8 (permalink)
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It really is strange how Christmas can be the most amazing, fun, and happy holiday, but when someone you love is ill, it can be the most emotional and challenging holiday. Our Christmas went over well, but it did get emotional at one point. I truely believe that this was our last Christmas with my dad, and when we left my parents house Christmas night, I cried and cried. Dad is on a vent, which could expand his life for a long time, but the doctors think that he is in the end stage. They do not think he will make it more than a year longer. His mental thinking is so foggy and his body is just giving out on him. I am so thankful that we had one more Christmas together, and that he was able to see his grandkids open presents excitedly and be a part of the whole experience. I always look forward to Christmas and am sad when it is over, but this year I was thankful when the day was over and we had survived it pretty well. I hope that 2007 is a better year for our family than 2006 was, but I can't help but to worry. I pray for all of us that 2007 brings some good news.
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Old 12-29-2006, 02:02 PM #9 (permalink)
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Hello to all. My name is Donna and I usually post on the care givers side of this forum. But today this thread caught my eye. My best friend and the love of my life lost his battle to ALS on 12/6/2006. He fought a good fight to the end and for that I love him more. I never had a chance to say goodbye, kiss him one more time or anything like that. So all of you have have the chance please please turn to your loved ones and hold there hand, kiss them, and for those of you that can... dance with your loved one, make it count, fell the moment.

Ben never understood why......... but never wasted time trying to figure it out. he hated it, but he would smile at us, and never burden us with what he felt . It was his hell he never shared. So for the new year please stop wondering why? And please hold your loved one tight, kiss them, and please please dance with them and make it count. Because that's all I long for right now... one last dance.

Make 2007 count .......................

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Old 12-29-2006, 04:26 PM #10 (permalink)
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Excellent advice, Donna. I read posts from people who struggle taking care of cranky PALS, or from PALS who feel like a burden on their loved ones, and I think sometimes we miss the point. We should be savoring these moments together. Even healthy people should be kind to more another. Two perfectly healthy people could part for a few hours with anger in the air between them and one could get hit by a truck before everybody gets home in the evening.

So you are right! My New Year resolution is to not let a day go by without telling each special person how much they mean to me! A kiss, a smile, a kind word is all it takes and I bet I will fell better myself after doing it!

Happy New Year to you, Donna. Hope you will be with friends or family this first New Year without Ben. Regards, Cindy
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