My Surprise Birthday Party

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hn7609

Distinguished member
Joined
Sep 7, 2011
Messages
121
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
08/2011
Country
US
State
Virginia
City
Moseley
I just found out today that a family friend has planned a surprise birthday party for me with about 40 guests. She is a good friend and wants to something nice for me in my “time of need”. I however am dreading the prospect. As I was just diagnosed a few months ago I am still struggling to get a grip on things. At first I could hardly even talk about it with anyone without breaking down in tears. I’ve gotten to the point now that I can reasonable discuss my condition and keep a stiff upper lip…..but I’ll admit that sometimes someone can say just the right things or give me that pitiful look and I’ll break down no matter how hard I try. I know that everybody there is going to want to come up to me personally and tell me how sorry, unfair, etc. There is no way that I will get thru this without looking like a total weenie. Many people who will be there do not know about my predicament and will be finding out that night so they will be emotional too. I just don’t know how I will do it. Anybody got any advice on how to get thru this?

Bill
 
Bill, I know exactly how you feel about breaking down at times... I just now started coming out about this disease, and I don't want a pity party, I want to let people know about it without seeing that look in their eyes. If it were me, I'd thank this friend and tell him/her that I'd prefer a quiet evening not a big bash. I have a high school reunion coming up, and am dealing with the same issue... I think I'm going to post something on our class's fb page to let people know a little of what I'm dealing with as I don't want to deal with it that night. Perhaps if folks were told ahead of time, it would be more comfortable if you do decide to go... you might even be surprised at how much support and fun you'll have, even if a few tears are shed.
Good luck,
Helen
 
I agree with Helen about telling folks ahead of time. You need to get in touch with someone to let them know you want EVERYONE to know your situation and that the celebration is to be just that, a celebration.

As for how to get through it without being a total weenie, you can get by with a little help from your friends. ;) Go to the doc, if you can, and explain that your friends are surprising you and you don't want to break down on what should be a happy occasion. There is no reason why they cannot prescribe some Xanax or something similar to help with anxiety.

Happy Birthday!

PS- I don't know if you have Emotional Lability, nor how long you have til this party, but you might want to look into anti-depressants or the drug for EL so you can get it in your system.
 
Hi Bill, I just wanted to say Hi and am so sorry you are now here at this forum, but it is the best place for answers to questions you may have, like the one you asked and a whole lot of Love and Support from all of us here. Follow your heart in your desision, it will be the best one for you, and it is your Party you can cry if you want to....:wink:

Praying for you for Peace in your heart. ((HUGS))
 
First let me say Happy upcoming birthday to you!

Everyone has given you some excellent advice. I understand your concerns and having communication that this is a celebration is a great idea! Just keep in mind that you are very lucky to be surrounded by so many people who care about you and want to celebrate your birthday! It is a true blessing to be surrounded by family and friends.

I hope you have a wonderful party!
 
Another option would be to have your friend say a little something right at the beginning of the party... touching lightly on your diagnosis, but explaining that this party is meant to be a celebration of life... etc etc... sort of set the vibe...
Of course people who didnt know about your diagnosis would need to be let known ahead of time.
You could also ask your friend to stick with you for the evening, and if she sees that your getting upset, she can redirect people and sort of nonchalantly keep the mood up.
All just suggestions. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you a very Happy Birthday!
 
I think liz's idea is the best...celebration of your life with fun and upbeat time! Hope it turns out to be a very happy in the moment party for you and all your friends.
 
Celebrate and enjoy your friends while you can. Make the most of it today!
 
Bill, first happy birthday and I am so sorry you had to find your way here. But as you can see already you are welcomed with open arms and unconditional love and acceptance. Here you will find your lifeline to many upcoming questions and concerns and the best place to rant and rave and scream if necessary. You will always find laughter somewhere within the posts. I understand exactly how you feel about the party. I turned the big 50 a month and a half after my diagnosis. I think you have received excellent advice and I know you will find a way to make it a great celebration. Uncontrollable crying is very much a part of this disease. Talk to your doctor about the new medication released this year. It has saved me and I am now able to be in social situations and not cry.
Blessings to you,
Linda
 
Post went to moderation. Oh well
 
Thanks everybody for your input. I think that I will just tough it out and do my best. I know that I won't make it through but I'm going to give it my best effort. They may have to take my man card before the night is over but I'm sure that I'll get a chance to earn it back at some point.

Thanks

Bill
 
The time you have left is all about making memories. For you, but mostly for the people you have in your life, and the memories that THEY will make. Think about how you want to use this party to do that in the best way possible.

-Tom
 
1/2 or 1/3 Xanax tab would help keep the emotions in check. I'm with you though. I wouldn't like a spectacle. Just good memories. I like Liz's idea. A family memeber setting the tone to the celebration of you. I hope you have a great birthday and are able make some wonderful memories. Stay close.
Hugs,
Marta
 
billy boy...als makes you special....take the meds suggested to help you...everyone at the do will know your predicament anyway.......dismis attempts at condolence and ensure your guests have a good time......you can do it billy...i know u can...... lets know how u got on , me old china........loves , johnny
 
First let me say Happy Birthday...I agree with everyone about a little medication to get you thru this. You certainly don't have to worry about losing your man card.
 
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