dragonlibra
Active member
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2011
- Messages
- 89
- Diagnosis
- 09/2011
- Country
- US
- State
- PA
- City
- McKeesport
Helluva birthday gift I'll probably get next week. My neurologist is doing leg emg on me Wed. I believe from what he's said & my progressing arm weakness/atrophy/functional loss & leg/foot gait problems this will just confirm the monster has invaded.
My 59th BD is Thur. Helluva gift.
Being alone I admit I'm major league depressed and scared of the future. How fast the monster will attack my body. How I have to move on & try to adapt & depend on strangers. My thoughts have been in dark places today. Fear of all the things I need to get done on my own as my body weakens. I'm ready to get whatever diagnosis so I can find out what help I can get. What meds for symptoms & depression. All I have now is xanax from GP. And I'm tired of trying not to be Debbie Downer to coworkers & friends while being honest on what is happening to me. I think I don't have it in me to work much longer. I'm the lone IT person so have to get someone in & trained. I don't envy cleaning out 15 years of stuff out of office.
How did you all especially if alone move past the fear & depression of initial ALS diagnosis?
Those of you with family & friends caregivers treat them kindly & treasure them.
Sorry, I needed to get this out today. I keep thinking back a year ago while I may have been seeing quirky small symptoms in my hands I had no clue the monster that was stalking me. I intended to be a bad ass old lady with martial arts & ability to shoot. Hah, the monster had other plans. Wish there was some way to beat or shoot this monster down.
Rita
My 59th BD is Thur. Helluva gift.
Being alone I admit I'm major league depressed and scared of the future. How fast the monster will attack my body. How I have to move on & try to adapt & depend on strangers. My thoughts have been in dark places today. Fear of all the things I need to get done on my own as my body weakens. I'm ready to get whatever diagnosis so I can find out what help I can get. What meds for symptoms & depression. All I have now is xanax from GP. And I'm tired of trying not to be Debbie Downer to coworkers & friends while being honest on what is happening to me. I think I don't have it in me to work much longer. I'm the lone IT person so have to get someone in & trained. I don't envy cleaning out 15 years of stuff out of office.
How did you all especially if alone move past the fear & depression of initial ALS diagnosis?
Those of you with family & friends caregivers treat them kindly & treasure them.
Sorry, I needed to get this out today. I keep thinking back a year ago while I may have been seeing quirky small symptoms in my hands I had no clue the monster that was stalking me. I intended to be a bad ass old lady with martial arts & ability to shoot. Hah, the monster had other plans. Wish there was some way to beat or shoot this monster down.
Rita
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