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Lou3892

Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2009
Messages
10
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
07/2009
Country
US
State
NY
City
NEW ROCHELLE
I'm desperate. I really dont know what to do. My dad has been in the hospital since last Monday. He got a infected gallbladder that caused him a distended belly. As a result he went into respiratory failure. He is been not eating and it is weak but very
Lucid. The dr wants to extubate him tmrw and I'm not sure if he's going to make it. The doctor told me that the wise thing to do was to let him go. His stomach is not good he's may get like inflated like before. He is throwing some bile with blood. I asked to do what he wants me to do, b/c in case the extubation fails. What should I do I need advice
 
Does he not have a living will or advanced directive for healthcare? Different states call them by different names. Has he indicated what he wants done?
 
if your dad wants to continue fighting, can the doctors remove his gallbladder?
youve got to find out if your dad is willing to go on artificail ventilation if the extubation doesnt go well.
if he doesnt want it, then i suggest contacting friends and family...
can you give us more info?
 
I'm sorry you're having to struggle with this. If he is lucid, is there a way he can communicate his wishes to you? If there is, let him tell you what his wish is--in the absence of any kind of living will or advance directive.

I'm new here--but have dealt with a father on a vent and trying to decide what to do. I knew his wishes from previous talks--in his case, (not an ALS diagnosed) he did not want kept alive by artificial means.

Some people want to have every single minute possible on this earth despite their level of ability. If you've discussed this with him in the past, perhaps that will help you with a decision no one should have to make regarding a loved one.

My prayers are with you
 
Yes, I did speak to him about this. We have a proxy, which is me. However he never went into detail as to tell me that about tracheostomy. He never thought he would get to the this point
They can't remove his gallbladder because he runs too much risk
 
Hon, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. All I can suggest is ask him what he wants with yes and no questions he can answer with his eyes if he's unable to speak at this point.

I know from personal experience that gall bladders can become infected and leak into the abdomen--but people can go ages between attacks, too.
 
Lou I think you are saying that your dad's doctor wants to take him off the vent tomorrow and let him die naturally as he feels the situation is so grave that he cannot recover. That is putting a lot of responsibility on your shoulders. In your dad's very weakened condition when they extubate him, he likely will go into respiratory failure rather than start breathing on his own. I think the doctor needs to explain this very clearly to your father, and let him decide. God bless you both, and I will pray for your dad.
Laurel
 
Lou, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your dad tonight.
 
Thank you! I did explain this to my dad. He is hopeful that he will breathe, but I am dying
 
Prayers for you and your Dad.
Love and light
Meg
 
May God send his Angels to surround you all...miracles do happen!
 
Hugs and prayers for you both.
 
My prayers are with you and your dad tonight.
 
My prayers go out to you and your Dad. This is obviously not an easy situation for you. If you have to make decisions for you Dad look inside your heart. Your Dad obviously trusts you to look out for his best interest and to make the best decision for him. That is the hard part doing what is best for him, not necessarily what is best for everyone. Stay strong and keep the faith my friend!
 
Prayers and loving thoughts are being sent your way. I don't think anyone can understand what you must be going through. Having lost my mom to lung cancer, I know that the decision to let someone go is so hard, but sometimes you have to look at not only that choice, but also the choice of quality of life if they have all the medical procedures. This was the case with my mom. We decided to keep her home and keep her as comfortable as possible rather than have her in the hospital full of needles and machines only to prolong her life for a very short time. This was the right decision for our family, but it isn't the right choice for everyone. May you find the wisdom you need at this tough time. Your dad is lucky to have you on his side. Good luck in whatever choice you make. May God bless you and your family.
Janis
 
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