Overwhelmed

[notgivnup]

What to do when all has an overwhelming effect, physical, emotional, and spiritually? I feel as I should not prolong my waiting around to go, become totally disabled when the only out come is death. Everyday the high light of my day is my cup of coffee in the morning then............bordom til time to sleep.no more interest in anything not that it would matter to anyone anyway. I told my daughter a couple hours ago I was not going to wait around and just sit here waiting to die. I saw her drive off with family and friends to go ATVing for the day....so whats the use, Doesnt seem anyone cares. Im so very tired, I will not fill out one more form for anything I keep getting denied anyway! Bills mounting up, no cash, no ssdi till May or medical....I;m done cant see any reason to prolong this thing...so sorry, maby Im just having a REALLY bad day..time for another valium...or who knows, my strenght is gone, I cant help anyone nor do they want it...I pray the Father will intervene, bring me hope again for what i dont know, I feel useless just sucking air for no apparant reason.....
No need to reply I just needed to express my feeling to cyberspace

 

[laurel]

I wish I had some wise words, but I do care and feel very sad for you. I am praying for you. May God bless you and give you comfort.
Laurel

 

[TedH5]

Your profile name is notgivnup, that speaks volumes about your heart and internal strength and fortitude. I am sorry that you are sufering alone. I will keep you in my prayers. I encourage you to stay strong and keep the faith and look inside you and find the feelings and emotions that guided you to choose your wonderful profile name. Please feel free to come here and lean on us for emotional support and encouragement.

 

[catcaniac]

I will reply because you are not alone. I do not have ALS but my young hubby's does. He is next to me right now. He just finished throwing up his dinner......fruit! It was all he could manage. He has been sick for 3 days. When I say sick....I mean sick on top of sick. He has the stomach flu on top of this awful disease. I am sorry you are feeling bad and having a terrible day. It comes with this beast called ALS. But please do not lose hope. There is a reason for you to hang in there and be here tomorrow. People on this forum understand! They are here to help you through the good times and bad. None of us knows why this fate has come to any of us but we do know that after the bad days, we usually find some good and a reason to just hang in there and keep on going. Please don't give in. I will say a prayer that tomorrow brings some hope and you will find value in the person you are spiritually not physically. You are valuable and never forget that. Please feel better.

 

[Madison1943]

Hi, I do have ALs and live alone and have to take care of a little dog and 2 cats. I've had this disease for almost 3 years. I can still eat, talk a little mush and my breathing is 85 % which is pretty good. Anyway, I can't walk, drive or even stand up without pulling myself up with my arms. I had an afternoon full of emergencies, falling things, messes in thekitchen. Affter the whole thing I took a morphine pill because my back was killing me. Still felt like killing something so I took an Ativan. Now I'm mellow. I recommend a few prescribed drugs for ALSers. You don't want to leave your daughter! Mine are all grown up and gone to faraway places. Wish I could go too.

 

[Bad Balance]

For me it is important to get outside myself and to be among others. Do you have any mobility? Can you set some structure into your routine where you have some commitment to attend an activity outside the house? Walking or floating in a pool at the YMCA or a club? They say if you can breath you can do yoga.

It also might be good to use your experiences to contribute to others. Any opportunities to vounteer through your church or community? Teach reading or math to disadvantaged kids or adults?

If you sit with nothing to do, the walls may close in. We all have these feelings....it is hard. Do a little at a time.

 

[landofsmiles]

My day started very badly too. I spent nearly 2 hours on the toilet with constipation having not gone for three days I think caused by the morphine I take. It was very painful but eventually I managed a bowel movement after having several solutions squirted into my bum. It is times like that that I think about giving up too as I am very close to total paralysis. Already my legs have gone completely and I have almost no strength left in my arms. I have no intention of staying around for the full course of the disease and will make my exit when I have had enough.

notgivnup you can obviously still use the Internet so enjoy that. It can keep you occupied for much of the day. Play games or you can watch virtually any movie you like for free online these days

 

[arkallen]

Hello notgivinup;

I haven't personally felt your frustration and loneliness; as I am pretty mobile one way and another. But I can't help but admire you and anyone who can endure such a trial. No matter how you get through your day, even if it's only just, you have my admiration. I do hope that you are doing better today, and I hope that being in touch with a few people here on these pages helps ease the burden too.
God bless,

 

[Christina39]

Dear Notgivnup- Just saw this post. I hope you have been encouraged to know that you are not alone. We are here for you and for eachother. We are all in this together. I hope these messages have brought you comfort. God Bless You, Christina