How to live in today

[joni51]

Ok I am trying so hard to live just today, but it is like i am grieving already. I know I am depressed, but NOTHING seems to give me any happiness right now. I love my kids, grandkids, and my little dog, but all I think about is the fact that i could lose my husband to this nasty disease. I try to put on my smily face and pretend all is alright, but I just can't seem to pull it off. My kids get mad with me because they won't to act like nothing is wrong and I just can't do it. How do I get past this. I already feel lonely.On top of that with my husband losing his job, we are going to get behind on bills... just everything! i just want to crawl up somewhere and forget all of this.

 

[sharona]

Hi Joni,
Just try to put it all in Gods hands I know how hard it is BUT God only promises us today,not tomorrow.God Bless you & your family & I pray that things get better for all of you & that your finances turn around for you.God Bless.
Sharon

 

[joelc]

You have to get past this or you will miss the good times you still have left. I understand how hard the financial aspect is, we are more than $50,000.00 in the hole now but worrying about it is not going to help so have chosen not to.

How I Cope

 

[abbas child]

Joni, I wish I had a magic word to make it alright. Your plate is full with his job loss, the illness of his mother, and right now you aren't sure, but it sounds like ALS. You are right now going through the worst part, believe it or not; at least an awful lot of us have found that to be true. You and your husband are, I believe, going to the Neuro that Katie and Glen really liked. Is that right? That's for the second opinion? So, you're getting good help there.

Sharona just slipped a little piece of great advice to you while I hunted down Dr. Glass. Joni, the only thing that's ever worked for me is to give it over to the Lord. I realize He knows all about it, but He says to tell Him and to ask Him for peace. Please do just that, and then when fear raises its head, talk out loud and tell it that it belongs to the Lord. Don't worry about sounding crazy. Better to sound it than to be it, if you know what I mean. I will pray for you; I know Sharona will, and so will Joel. We're with you and you will make it.
Love and a great big hug,
Ann

 

[hopingforcure]

Joel,
You are always a complete example of courage and strength, you and Al, both people who I could not respect more. Thank you

 

[joni51]

Ok now I am sitting here at midnight boo hooing. I know I need to turn it over to God, but right now I am trying not to be mad at him! The bible says believe and pray and that God still heals, but after already losing one husband young, and now this I just don't understand why some people are healed and some aren't. I am sorry to be so negative tonight, just having a pity party. I really appreciate all of you..Sharon, Joel, and Ann. Thanks for listening. Joni

 

[Katie C]

Joni.. in the past year Glen got his ALS/FTD diagnosed, my mom passed away, my youngest brother died suddenly, my mother in law passed, and then of course Glen. In talking to 3 good friends.. 2 Jesuit priests and one Lutheran minister, they all agreed on one thing: sometimes the most appropriate emotion in a situation is anger.. even if that anger is at God. Try to find someone you feel safe talking to.. a counsellor, or someone at your church. And don't worry about the pity parties... I've been threatening to start a new business as a pity party planner!
Hang in there.

 

[LizT]

Joni- dont feel bad for being angry with God. Im right there with you. I question Him all the time. I also yell at Him and ask why he has allowed this. And you know what? Its perfectly ok. I still love Him, but right now, I am really angry with Him. So dont worry. He understands.

 

[Phil M]

Sorry to hear Joni. Theres no magic answers really. Having faith is the most helpful thing I know of.
Did he loose his job because of als? I quit my job earlier than I wanted to, just to avoid being fired. I knew I had to make the first move to protect myself, and get my benefits. If they fired him because of als, I would look into any legal rights you might have if any. I think a company that firs you because of a sickness should pay! That kind of thing really pisses me off! I made the first move at my company because they fired a guy once right after he was diagnosed'ed with cancer, so I did not trust them. Your mental health, and happiness is so much more important than worrying about money. Try your best to block it out, and in time you should start feeling better I hope.
God bless!

 

[joni51]

Oh gosh Katie, you have been through alot too! I am so sorry for all your losses! When my first husband was sick with cancer, I lost my mom to alzheimers. Heck even the fish died. I just thought at this point in my life that all was ok. I don't want to be by myself again. Now my little dashund that is my baby is nearly 13, and I know soon I will lose her too! Life is just about too many losses...

 

[joni51]

I understand totally Liz, I just wish they would find cures for all these awful diseases! I am whining, and you all are going through so much...

 

[joni51]

Phil the company was bought out by someone else and they let several of them go. It just sucks at this time! I feel so bad for him, always worked and he just don't know what to do with himself. Today he has had a good day watching Alabama play ball and win I just feel so overwhelmed with all of it! I mean a couple of months ago all was supposedly fine, and it all went bad at the same time. God bless you too!