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maryhahnward

Distinguished member
Joined
Jun 17, 2009
Messages
445
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
06/2010
Country
US
State
NC
City
Wilmington
My son is deploying to Afghanistan, this will be his fourth tour (2 to Iraq - 1 to Afghanistan). He will be gone for a year. His dad recently was diagnosed with brachial amyotrophic diplegia. My son does not like to talk too much about his dad's condition but it is obvious that even though this B.A.D. can be slowly progressive that in a year from now he will have a virtually concave chest, a left arm that can not resist gravity, and severe right arm weakness. I think he will be surprised when he comes home to see the physical condition of his dad.

Has anyone else in this forum had to deal with deployments and members of their family with ALS/MND problems?

I was thinking of sending him photographs every few weeks under the guise of family photos...

Mary
 
Thank your son for serving!

How stressful to be deployed to a war zone and know his father is suffering.
 
Hi Mary! I am so sorry to hear about your husband's condition. May God bless your husband, son and entire family. Will be praying for you all, and God bless!

Irma
 
seems you got a double blow to worry about i am so sorry wishing them both well
 
Thank you. I am sorry you are all confronting this disease as well. The deployments have taken their toll on our family and thousands like ours. The last deployment my dad died. We will all do our best to put as much "positives" into the mix as we can. Our son is infantry with the 101st out of Ft. Campbell. His deployments keep us up at night.

thanks for listening! If anyone comes up with good ideas on how I can track this year for him in a positive light please let me know.

Mary
 
so sorry you are getting this double whammy. And bearing it bravely:::::::
Much love
 
So sorry for you and your whole family.. These things just seem unbearable .... Words just aren't enough when so many things are pilled on top of us.... Thinking of you and praying your son will get back in time.....big hugs, Linda
 
Dear Mary,
Thank you to you and your family for the service you have all given to our country. Have you thought about maybe just doing some webchats. It could be a less obvious way of your son seeing his dad's progression while still being able to catch up and just say hi. Even if you could meet just once a month it would be meaningful for everyone.

That was my favorite way of staying connected with my husband during his last tour in Iraq. It wasn't GREAT reception, but definitely worth seeing him in motion instead of just webchatting.
Peace,
Melody
 
Mary,

My son did two tours overseas, one to Afghanistan, and one to Iraq. Like Melody suggested, web chats are good. Also, as your son will have much on him emotionally, whatever will help him NOT dwell on his dad's progression is a good thing. If you can find ways to let him know that life back home is normal, and that you guys are happy and coping, that is the best gift and reinforcement you can give to him. Your son most likely has searched on the internet about his dad's disease, and may know more than he has let on. Later on, immediately before he is to return home, if you think he should be better prepared for his dad's progression, maybe then you might start slipping in some photos that give him some insight as to how have been changing for his dad. However, I hope your husband truly does have a slow progression, and that this will not be necessary.

Good luck to all of you, with this latest development. I hope your son stays safe, and does not let this next deployment get him down.
 
Mary,

My hat is off to your son for his service to our country.

I second what Rose had to say about keeping the news from home upbeat. I cannot tell you how much negative news from the home-front affects a serviceman's psyche (speaking from personal experience here).
 
Thank you everyone! I will ask him how he feels about webchats or using Skype. He generally serves in outposts that do not have very good Internet connections. He is an 11Bravo (infantry) and now on the scout sniper team as a scout. They are part of this surge that is going on right now.

I thank all of you who have served either personally or through your loved one - when we have someone we love serving we serve with them...only the world can't see us but we see each other..

He came home for Easter and helped my daughter and I garden while his dad directed from the porch. I think it hit him then how limiting the disease is becoming. His dad is a big old former Marine and the kids are use to him taking on the world.

Thank you Zaphoon for your service...I agree with the positives, we work real hard on sending him handwritten letters that describes our daily life...he always keeps photos of us with him, I guess thats why I thought updated photos would be good...so on his return he wouldn't be too surprised.
 
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just lots of cards and letters lot of good updates and minimise the not so good stuff
 
Wow, so talk about stress! Our son leaves tomorrow. We have been with him all week out at Ft Campbell. Our daughter was able to come as well. The kids really enjoyed being with each other. These long years of war - a year deployed, a year in America, a year deployed, a year in America, a year in deployed, a year in America, a year deployed.....takes its toll on a family. Our kids need each other more than ever and they will be separated again for a year. They have just recently discovered companionship with each other again! It all feels so bittersweet. On the drive to Ft Campbell Tom's fisculations and cramping were intense. Seems like stress accelerates the disease...we will have to work on keeping our heads and hearts together for the next year. The first week or so after our son deploys is always the most difficult then we seem to find a routine but he is never far from our thoughts.

So not complaining here just feeling sad tonight....

Mary
 
Lord have mercy! I think the military has a provision to keep a soldier home if there is a medical problem with a close relative? I am a brat, so I seem to remember something about this from the Vietnam war era. Please tell me it is so!
 
Thank you and your family but mostly your son. I an humbled by your experience of having your son in harms way four times. I cannot wrap my mind around your sacrifices but you have my profound respect. Old men should go to war, not young men and women. Maybe then they would stop.
 
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