ghii
Active member
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2010
- Messages
- 88
- Reason
- CALS
- Diagnosis
- 02/2010
- Country
- US
- State
- Texas
- City
- CC
It came to me yesterday - sometimes one could feel guilty being happy when the ones we are with are suffering. I thought, - if the darkness go on for months, years, how could one live it. It came to me, it is all right to find happiness in the midst of darkness. I always remember what Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, that when we are suffering, we should still be able to see the rose and enjoy the beauty of a rose. I do have times of happiness during the day. My morning walk - I clear my mind of all things and walked, mind in meditative mode. And gardening. I do little of it but I do enjoy growing ficus from seeds. The seeds are tiny, it takes 30 days to 50 days to see the little green leaves coming out. Looking at them gives me so much pleasure. At night when my husband retires to bed, I watch light movies, movies with dogs, children when I can get them. It is compartmentalizing, staying above.
My husband's symptoms started two years ago. When it was just starting, I was able to tell myself, I have to stay above, I cannot get pulled down into the dark hole. I would be of no help to him pulled down into that dark hole. He was depressed then, finding it hard to accept getting old. Now he is at peace with his condition which makes things easier. On finding it it is Als, for a while I forgot I have to stay above. I was reminded of it again yesterday, finding lights in the midst of darkness. My friends told me I have to take care of myself, that is one way of taking care of myself, finding lights in the midst of darkness.
Mine is mild at the moment, no comparison to what many of you are enduring here.
My husband's symptoms started two years ago. When it was just starting, I was able to tell myself, I have to stay above, I cannot get pulled down into the dark hole. I would be of no help to him pulled down into that dark hole. He was depressed then, finding it hard to accept getting old. Now he is at peace with his condition which makes things easier. On finding it it is Als, for a while I forgot I have to stay above. I was reminded of it again yesterday, finding lights in the midst of darkness. My friends told me I have to take care of myself, that is one way of taking care of myself, finding lights in the midst of darkness.
Mine is mild at the moment, no comparison to what many of you are enduring here.