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cukita99

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Jun 12, 2007
Messages
362
Reason
PALS
Country
US
State
tx
City
el paso
im 55 year old female confined to a wheelchair n cant speak, divorce with a 20yr old son. my husband was having an affair while i started having symptoms. at the time he filed for divorce the doctors didnt know what i had. i was awarded spousal support for life. that is all the income i have. my son n his father got into it n his dad beat him up. he didnt file charges n now his dad wants nothing to do with us. now im afraid he is planning to stop the support. what am i going to do if i have a legal fight. how can i defend my self with out a voice.
 
have you filed for SSDI? If not I would start that NOW. You should be able to find a lawyer that deals w/ handicapped people or at least have one directe you to one...Will keep you in our prayers!
 
i did file for ss n ssd both but i didnt work so havent paid into ss within the last ten years n ssd, i get too much support to qualify. i used to work for him but without pay.
 
Hello, im not sure how to use this chat ive never done this before please bare with me. My mom was recently diagnosed with ALS and i dont know what to do to help her. can anyone help? What is the best way to go about getting her the equipment that she will need
 
lupe, can you contact the local ALSA for help? I hate that this is going on for you! Sending you hugs!
 
aboatright, the first place to start is the search box-you will find a wealth of information if you search. Also, if you are not directly replying to a post it is always better to start a new thread. Sorry about your Mom. Welcome to the forum.
 
Lupe,

You may be better off without the support, although I doubt he would be able to stop the support. Can your son speak on your behalf? You would qualify for Medicaid, food stamps, etc... if you had nothing coming in.

Also can you or your son contact the following:

http://governor.state.tx.us/disabilities/resources/

Another place is called DADS I believe. I will try to find the link.

Here it is: http://www.dads.state.tx.us/

If he beat your son, you may be in danger as well. I would still file a report. This would help should he try to take away your support.
 
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Lupe hun, we talked about this. You told me that your neighbor has all the power of attorney etc? Can she help you if your jerk of an x-husband stops paying? If you are stressing over this, perhaps there is a way to get your support taken out of his paychecks, or bank accounts once a month like they do with child support. That is horrible what he did to your son! I know what that is like as a mom who has an evil x-husband who was abusive to my daughter on visitations. Its so frustrating, and its hard because you want to fix how your son feels about it too. I am so sorry. We never talked about food assistance...do you get it? It can be a real life saver! No shame in that at all my dear. You would be surprised at what you would qualify for based on the fact that you and your son live together and he is going to school. Every little bit helps. I know you try and keep as much responsibility off your son as possible, so again, I would go to your neighbor and fill her in with what is going on. It may not require an attorney to file such papers to get his wages garnished. There is usually county clerk at the court house that can tell you what papers to fill out. Lots of attorneys give free consults too. I looked at the websites that CJ listed above, they are EXCELLENT! On the second link called DADS after you get into that link, click on Help for Texans and go down the page where it talks about helping the disabled. Both sites are excellent places to start. Your neighbor can talk for you on the phone. Also there are links to email the local agency that may be able to help you with legal advice on getting your spousal support set up in a way where you wouldnt have to worry. I hate that you have to worry about any of this Lupe! If there is ANY phone calls or more research I can do for you, just email me at my email address you have, and I will be happy to do what ever you need! You are not alone, we are all here for you hun!
Hugs my friend,
Kari
 
Cukita,
Try not to worry about your x right now, just be prepared with an action plan if he decides to play power games and withold spousal support payment, I doubt he would he sounds like an over grown guilty child. Now a days he could go to jail if he does not pay you. My husband was not a great father when my 3 boys were growing up, 2-3 of them have gotten into physical fights with him when they were 18 & 20 years old. They directed their anger where it belongs he came out of it as the loser, they have great relationships now and he had a major reality check. He has earned their respect back and over the last 10 years he has been a good dad. As for court I am going in March to address an finacial issue that I filed against an x co-worker. I have a person assigned to speak for me, he has a summary of events that I want addressed and I will have my dry erase board to answer any questions that my arise. Make sure the person who speaks for you is well spoken in a court setting. Having a diagnosed of als and having a heel for a husband then a fight is a bit to much. Try to relax and take care of yourself stress is not a good thing.Things will work out! Hang in there!
Judy
 
Lupe,

Im from Australia so i really cant help with any legalities ... you must be devastated my husband also left me and i have bipolar it was so scary i didnt think i could do it alone ... but i did and my kids are so close to me now ... i also have ALS now but cope with that i think beacase i survived the X and put him out of my life and concentrated on me and my kids ... you will be suprised where the courage comes from when you need it ... you are amazing and just because he didnt know that your better off without him ! hope you get the spousel support organised so hard i know but dont give in :) karen
 
Cukita99,

I am sorry to hear all the awful things you are going through. Your ex sounds like a very unpleasant person. I hope there is no need for a legal fight concerning the spousal support. You were legally awarded that support and should be getting it. I don't think your ex has a chance in hades to get out of paying it to you. Don't give up and don't give in. We are here to help you as best we can.
Keep us posted on how things are going.
Have a blessed day!
 
Go online to the Ontario ALS Society and they have an excellent manual for patients and caregivers of ALS. You can prchase a copy or down load it- check it out it will answer many of your questions- Karin
 
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