Need advice for a "Thinking of you" card

laurajh · 11-19-2009, 06:23 PM

My husband is down in Florida with his father who was just diagnosed. My mom & I want to send his father and wife a card, but we can't even begin to think of what to say. I could use some advice as to what would be appropriate. Any thoughts please?

GlenBrittle · 11-19-2009, 06:25 PM

Just offer to be there for whatever comes up in the future.

Glen

Katie C · 11-19-2009, 06:56 PM

Probably depends on your relationship. The best "thinking of you" cards I've received have included references to chocolate, along with specific offers of help (ie: Let me know when you'd like me to come hang out with Glen for a couple hours.)

Anastasia · 11-19-2009, 07:08 PM

Words straight from your heart are always th best. I m sure youll do fine. It s a bit like that at times ,pondering over what to say AND trying not to say the wrong thing!!!.
Ed and I can laugh now at times I tippy toed around the subject, when all along he really wanted me to talk about IT with him.
Hmmm!!!! We get there in the end, dont we peoples????????!!!!
Take care, Anastasia.

laurajh · 11-19-2009, 07:16 PM

We live in MA and they're in FL, I can only get enough time off work to get down there once a year, so I'm not as close as I'd like to be. My husband is down there now for 5 weeks and I feel awful that I wasn't able to go with him, I'm out of time off for the year. I can't even talk to him over the phone anymore because I can't understand what he's saying.

Katie C · 11-19-2009, 07:36 PM

Laura... do they have e-mail? Maybe you could keep in touch that way?

halfin · 11-19-2009, 07:40 PM

I'd think it would be safe enough to talk about how sad you were to hear the news, and how sorry that you could not be there with them during this time. Beyond that, as a PALS I would always appreciate wishes that my progression will be slow, but I'm not sure how to phrase that tactfully.

kelly · 11-19-2009, 10:04 PM

We have dear friends that send us a "thinking of you card" every week. No mushy words...but just the effort put forth means the world to us. Sometimes less means more!!!! So...go buy stock in cards...and send..send send.

BarryG · 11-20-2009, 12:33 AM

Laura, I know what you mean when you say "I can't even talk to him over the phone anymore because I can't understand what he's saying". My wife and I have been dealing with the same problem and have somewhat solved it by my using my netbook with speech software and a speakerphone. Not the most private way to have a conversation I know, but we can still talk when we cant be together. Emails and online chats are fine and really help but nothing beats talking on the phone for long distance communication.

If your husband has some kind of electronic voice then all you need is a speaker phone on his end and a little patience and you can talk.

Barry

indigosd · 11-20-2009, 06:21 AM

We love any card or phone call! One of the best ones was so simple and all it said was "thinking of you today with love and hope for a miracle"! For us, it isn't so important what the card says-it is the fact that someone took the time to let us know that we were in their thoughts. I think that many times people are hesitant to say or write anything simply because they don't know what to say OR it just makes it toooo real for them. Honestly, for us-there is nothing that is wrong to say and it brightens the day to get a card. :]

brooksea · 11-20-2009, 07:00 PM

A card - any card coming from his DIL, I'm sure would be appreciated! It's the thought that counts! Even if you can't understand him over the phone, you could still ask your husband to put the phone to your FIL's ear to tell him how much you love him and wish him the best.

rocmg · 11-20-2009, 08:03 PM

the phrase "adjusting to a new normal" always resounded with me even though i never actually believed it in my heart.

You could say that you hope in time he will be able to adjust to a new normal and learn to be happy again.

I really disliked it when my friends wrote me telling me they knew exactly how I felt when my mum was diagnosed.. how could they possibly know! in all fairness i was in my "anger" phase and i pretty much hated everything.

hopingforcure · 11-20-2009, 08:55 PM

I think a card is always uplifting, and it makes you feel like someone cares, it can make a bad day good, and a good day better. I think you are a dear women, and send you comforting thoughts as well.

laurajh · 11-22-2009, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BarryG

Laura, I know what you mean when you say "I can't even talk to him over the phone anymore because I can't understand what he's saying". My wife and I have been dealing with the same problem and have somewhat solved it by my using my netbook with speech software and a speakerphone. Not the most private way to have a conversation I know, but we can still talk when we cant be together. Emails and online chats are fine and really help but nothing beats talking on the phone for long distance communication.

If your husband has some kind of electronic voice then all you need is a speaker phone on his end and a little patience and you can talk.

Barry

Could you please give me more information about this speech software? What it's called and where we could get it? That's a good idea. So far I'm the only one unable to understand him. My husband doesn't even notice the slurring but I guess it's because they talk a lot more frequently and I must have noticed it only because I don't talk to him as much as he does. My husband will be in Florida with them for 2 more weeks before having to come home, but if he can get them set them up with some kind of software I'm sure he'll be glad he did, because it won't be long before he has trouble understanding him too.

BarryG · 11-22-2009, 11:54 AM

Laura, The easiest one to get is E-triloquist which is free for download at E-triloquist
It works on any Windows computer, the only thing that you may want or have to buy is a better voice. Check it out and if you want to purchase a voice then there are good ones available from Cepstral Cepstral Text-to-Speech and NextUp Text to Speech Software with AT&T Natural Voices™, Acapela™, Nuance™ Voices, They run about $100 but E-triloquist is free. If I can help in any way just let me know.

Barry