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glupavomomiche

Distinguished member
Joined
Sep 25, 2011
Messages
282
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
09/2011
Country
US
State
Texas
City
Podunk
I'm, like, a 33 year old female, and I'm not in good health. I have a lot of weakness all over, I have foot drop, I can't walk anymore without a brace and a cane or walker, and I have trouble swallowing and eating. I went to LOTS of neuros, and they were like, OMG, you have ALS, you're gonna die in a few years. And I was like, no freakin' way, I don't believe you. I know how to use the inter web and I have a BS in geology where I learned how to use a search engine, so I looked it up, and KNOW I don't have it.

The things is, I have these twitches, like, all over me. They drive me insane! They bother me all day while I'm, like, brushing my hair and putting on makeup and stuff. They drive me crazy when I'm trying to eat and my tongue is twitching and doesn't move the food around in my mouth anymore. And they really make me bonkers when I'm lying in bed at night and just twitching away. I, like, can't even sleep anymore!

I'm REALLY REALLY scared that I might have benign fasciculation syndrome (BFS). I used my BS degree and looked it up on the inter web and it really sounds like what I have, especially now that I have anxiety 'cause I think, no I KNOW, I have it.

I would REALLY appreciate y'alls opinions. Especially those of you who have symptoms like mine. I'm sure y'all know WAY MORE than those stupid neurologists who told me I have ALS. SO PLEASE tell me you think it's BFS, ok? Thanks, y'all are, like, AWESOME! :D
 
Hey Sarah. If that's what you want to use your BS degree for then maybe you do have BFS. I've seen some of those Docs too. Bunch of smartie pants. What do they know?

AL.
 
Sarah, you're cracking me up! :lol:
 
Who would, like, want to have BFS when they could have ALS?!? Like, you need to see a serious palm reader-gypsy-crystal-ball type person. They know a lot more than you think!
 
And to think I was recently told I was the most sarcastic person on the forum! HA! I say I'm in great company and thankful for it.
 
Sarah, you had me going for a minute, I had to check the date of the first post to make sure it wasn't real!
 
Sarah,

We here at PZ Laboratories, Inc. are expert in the field of treating BFS and reassuring those who have been diagnosed with ALS that all they really have is BFS.

Similarly, we, here at the lab, are also expert in convincing those who really have BFS that they most probably really have ALS. In either case, we can concoct (er, provide) all necessary diagnostic paperwork provided by Earl in our Creative Documentation Dept.

PZ Laboratories, Inc. can also provide you with a vast supply of our New (and Improved!) Anti-Twitch Cream and/or our world-famous Twitch Reducing Elixor! (also New and Improved!).

We have bumpber stickers you can proudly display on your automobile, powerchair, walker or cane that read:

"I HAVE BFS AND PROUD OF IT!"

"I HAVE BFS - YOU MAY TOO!"

"I HAVE BFS AND SO DOES MY DOG!"

and my favorite...

"I HAVE BFS AND EARL CAN PROVE IT!"

Just send us a copy of the ALS diagnosis given to you by your neurologist and we'll have Earl go to work on it and before you know it, we've given you the diagnosis you really want, BFS!

You must act today! Send as much money as possible (but not less than a few thousand) and we'll get you on your way to having a clear case of BFS. Remember, we always include our famous, "Satisfaction Almost Guaranteed or Your money May Be Refunded (and may be not...)!
 
We here at PZ labs responded but were moderated...
 
ROFLMAO! Love it!
 
Can I get a price quote on the Anti-Twitch Cream and the Twitch Reducing Elixir please?
 
Hahahaha, wish I could think like yall's but the Als diagnosis..well you know, it made me hard of hearing and all, oh and thinking too..
 
OH WOW! It's my LUCKY DAY! YES!

Ok, let's see... I'll take a lifetime supply of both products... and by lifetime supply, I mean until I'm 99 (you do the math, that's what I'm paying you for). Should I only make it to say, 97 and a third, I'll will the remainder quid pro quo to wit to woo to other BFS sufferers in third world countries, which will include the United States by that time (Yeah, I'm a socialist, what of it, punk?).

I'll take two of each bumper sticker (I like to have a backup in case of accidental peeling, print fading, tsunami, dropping apparatus in toilet, etc), but I don't have a dog. Please change that one to read "I HAVE BFS AND SO DOES MY LLAMA."

I am also enclosing a copy of all four of my ALS diagnosedes. I fully expect you to provide your own WhiteOut and marker pen to make the appropriate corrections and return them to me in triplicate.

I have inherited a large sum from an Arabian Prince who contacted me by email two and half years ago. I gave him my bank account information and am still desperately waiting for my deposit, especially since there have been some large unexplained overdrafts on the account in recent years. So if you will, kind sir, just send me a bill and forward my package on. Much appreciated!
 
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