Old 09-29-2017, 07:00 PM #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: Upset Rant

AKNate, I've read your post and the responses a few times and didn't know what to say. I relate in a lot of ways. All I can offer is that therapy helps some and doesn't others--although like Mike, I went through several before finding one that worked effectively with me. What she offers, besides a listening ear, is often a perspective I hadn't considered. One concrete example is when friends seemed to be dropping by the wayside, she explained that we can have friends for different parts of our journeys. We may have a close and dependable friend for years, but then in the midst of this journey with ALS, when we feel like we need them most, they disappear. She advised not to give completely up on them, perhaps they just can't handle the deep heartache and sense of hopelessness that can creep in...for them, too, but down the road, that good friend may be the first to step in and help me pick up the pieces. That resonated with me. And when I shared that I can't picture life without my husband...and frankly, didn't know if I wanted to...she encouraged me to be thinking of things i miss now, things I've always wanted to do, people, things and places that bring me comfort and make me feel connected, and to write them down and tuck them away. When the unthinkable happens, I won't have to depend on my own brain in the moment, I'll have a bank of written instructions. (I guess we'll see how that works?) Anyway, those are some tangible ways therapy has helped me so far. Wish there was a needle that could draw out pain as easily as a needle draws out blood.
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Old 09-30-2017, 08:01 AM #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: Upset Rant

Hello AKNATE,

I'm so sorry that you have to endure soooo much pain - it just doesn't seem fair.

I can relate to you not wanting to see a counselor. I've spent thousands $$$ on counselors, therapists, psychologists & psychiatrists (rent a friend) & have to admit that it was a waste of my time & money.

I'm NOT knocking anyone for seeking professional help. Many people have gained tremendous therapeutic value from confiding in a mental health professional.

Perhaps you should give it a shot to see if it works for you. If it doesn't, you have the people here to listen to you, offer their support whenever you feel overwhelmed with grief or anger. This groups compassion is very genuine and they truly understand how you feel.

As for me, I've had some weird experiences w/ more than 1 private mental health professional. So weird in fact that I couldn't possibly make the stuff up. If it weren't for the TMI rule, I'd have you cracking up. Sometimes that can be the best therapy.

My experience w/ the VA mental health clinic wasn't much better. My Doctor spent the entire time inputting everything I said verbatim in his computer. In all fairness to him, he was under a lot of pressure due to his tremendous case load and under intense scrutiny because of all the VA scandals.

I think I got a lot out of the various VA support groups I attended. I think someone in an earlier post mentioned finding a local ALS support group if at all possible.

I'm sending big hugs and mucho love your way. You can cry and rant as often as you like - they hear you
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Old 10-08-2017, 04:47 PM #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: Upset Rant

Thanks everyone so much for your replies and support. This forum and the people i've met on here have been a blessing during this crappy time. I would have crumbled earlier without you all.

We're off to Japan on Friday, so i'm hoping to hit the reset button on my emotions while there.
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