Old 08-25-2017, 05:42 PM #1 (permalink)
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Default Overwhelmed

Tillie thinks I should start my own struggling thread so here I go...

Maybe this should be named exhausted? Idk?!

Some of this will be a repeat from the CALS thread.

I have had grandkids pretty much 24/7 this entire week. I adore all of them... but they also wear me out.

My daughter and her husband have split which sadly is a good thing. They have been living in our rent house which I need to sell. I don't have the time, energy or money to take care of things there.

They are supposed to be moved out by the 1st of September. Hopefully my daughter will have a new place by then, if not, I will have extras until they do. She has a 7 yr old girl and a 2 yr old boy. They are so special to me but let's face it, I am barely holding my head above water as it is.

So far, my daughter has been a big help actually. She has been helping around the house and doing some cooking which is really nice.

The house that she is moving out of will need extensive work to get it ready to put on the market. She has been living there for 7 years. It makes me crazy that I am going to have to depend on others to do this work without my help. Actually they statement should say, can I depend on others to get the house ready? UGH! I can't even imagine.

I still haven't heard when or what type of surgery my BIL is going to have to have for the blockages he has?! That is worrisome for them and also I have to figure out who will stay with my PALS next Wednesday when I have to go to work.

It does sound as if they caught my SIL's breast cancer super early although it is an aggressive form. Hopefully she will be able to have minimal surgery and radiation only?! She goes back Monday to find out and get that scheduled.

Cliff seems to be having more trouble standing up on his own and he also gets very chilled when he showers which is something completely new. Otherwise, everything seems pretty much the same with him.

Thanks for listening guys! So glad you all understand!
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Old 08-25-2017, 06:30 PM #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Sooner I definitely understand. You, like many of the CALS have a ton your your plate. Like me, I'm not reading anything on that plate for just "me" time. We all are told we need to take care of ourselves before we can take care of our PALS. In wonderland that might be possible, in real life well lets just say we try. Most of the people spouting that stuff have no idea what it takes to take care of a PALS, vented or not. They don't understand that you can't leave them. However, once your BIL and SIL are squared away, I would suggest therapy if you can get a few hours here and there. I resisted that for a long time, thinking I had it all together.... yeah right.

I'm happy to hear that your SIL's situation "should" be cleared up fairly easily or so they think. Hoping the same happens with your BIL.

I totally get the my daughter is a help, but the kids, while I love them to death well... It's hard having others in your home, even when they do lend a hand. I think the toughest part is then finding space for just you.

What I can tell you, is you've got this. You're doing an awesome job, don't doubt yourself for a minute. And we are ALL here for you.

Hugs,

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Old 08-25-2017, 06:42 PM #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Thanks Sue! I completely agree! So me time would be fantastic! It is much needed at this point but not sure how that is going to happen in the near future. Hopefully soon!

I think therapy is a great idea. Unfortunately, I live 45 minutes away from where I would probably need to go. I am sure it would be very helpful and is probably something I need... but Pandora's Box is kinda scary too!

Thanks for being my cheerleader! I appreciate your vote of confidence.
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Old 08-26-2017, 03:49 PM #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

I'm thrilled to see you started your own thread - this could be the beginnings of the way to find some of your very own 'me' time.

I love how Sue's thread has developed. No we can't cure ALS, her family have been falling apart around her in their own ways, and yet she made a little silver lining thread and we can start to see it gleam through and it is even growing slightly in diameter.

Yours will be completely different. But that is why it is so hard to give advice, and why it is just horrible when people who have never been through this say 'you need to make time for yourself' and then walk back to their non-ALS lives.

I hope that here you can start to think outside of the square. I don't have any of the answers, but you may have noticed I will listen and then ask lots of good questions.

At least this therapy isn't 45 minutes away, it's at your fingertips!
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Old 08-26-2017, 04:48 PM #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Thanks Tillie! I appreciate all that you do. You are a great help to so many in so many different ways.

I can't wait until things are at least back to just Cliff and I. I am worn out... I have been watching the 2 yr old for days while my daughter goes to my rent house and works her butt off trying to pack everything up. Still no word on when she may have a place to go. Hopefully very close to the 1st?!

My BIL that has been mowing my yard every two or three days mowed the yard at the rent house. He will be helping out there where he can. I am lucky to have his help.

I am so in need of me time or sleep or quiet?!

Cliff couldn't stand from the lift recliner and when he fell back into the lift chair, he slid to the floor and fell over. Ugh! Luckily my son had just pulled in so he picked him up and put him in the shower chair so I could roll him to bed which I do every night. You all will be happy to know that if my son had not pulled up, I was going to use the hoyer to pick him up. I WILL NOT pick him up from the floor ever again... I am still helping him stand from the commode chair but my back seems to be handling that fine.
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Old 08-26-2017, 09:29 PM #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

It's hard enough when overwhelmed is sort of what our daily lives are, but the family health issues and the house situation must be really tough.

I hope your brother and sister in law do well, sounds like they will. Just a note, I saw a Doctor this week who said that having a full time job and a spouse with ALS was an off the charts stress level no matter how you cut it. He told me to eat a vegetable or have a glass of water whenever possible, and just plain sleep as much as I could. I guess that's all me time, right?

Big hugs to you.
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Old 08-26-2017, 10:11 PM #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

I know that when I would be told to have me time, I couldnt imagine how I could do it. So many things to do I never had a minute to sit. But.....

Please just recognize when you need help. To lift or move something heavy, so eone that would do groceries for you, anything. It helps mentally to be able to accept help and cross things off the list.
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Old 08-27-2017, 12:05 AM #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

One thing to watch out for when you're so busy is: don't break yourself. Don't rip a muscle, sprain an ankle, or get sick. When the body has a physical stress, the mind feels it too.
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Old 08-27-2017, 04:01 AM #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Definitely Mike - when I broke my toe it was truly the last thing I needed!

Sooner - these are all little things that are actually big and will make a difference!
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I WILL NOT pick him up from the floor ever again...
You do have a limit. As Lenore said - off the charts stress level.
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Old 08-27-2017, 08:59 AM #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Sooner - awesome news about your BIL doing the grass at both places. That's huge! I also second Mike and Tillie with not breaking yourself. When my back was out it doubled my stress.

You got this!

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Old 08-27-2017, 09:08 AM #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Morning guys! I woke up exhausted... but I am sitting here drinking my coffee in complete silence. All I can hear is the refrigerator running. Such a wonderful sound to hear nothing!

I can tell Cliff is more exhausted when he tries to walk now... He allowed me to push him in to the office this morning. He usually walks.

At some point, I am going to have to get over to the rent house and see what it is going to take to get it on the market. I am scared about that. They have been living there for 7 years.

I have a project that needs to be finished for work. One thing at a time, right?!
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Old 08-27-2017, 04:04 PM #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Definitely one thing at a time!
Waking up exhausted is such an awful feeling - makes it even more important you just work on one thing at a time xx
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Old 08-27-2017, 08:05 PM #13 (permalink)
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Another day is almost done... I have washed and organized everything I could today. I was hoping to finish before the end of the day since I have to work bright and early but no luck. UGH!
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Old 08-28-2017, 03:29 PM #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

It often feels so important to get so many things done, but I have been surprised to find that sun still rises the next day regardless. Yes it has to get done some time, but you have to accept limits on yourself and on the amount of time you have.

I hope you could sleep and just move into the next day xxx
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Old 08-28-2017, 06:48 PM #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Sooner, pat yourself on the back for what you did accomplish. I learned a long time ago to be happy with anything I could get done. Some days a lot will happen, other days nothing. In this life count the baby steps and feel the magic.

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