Old 09-04-2017, 08:15 AM #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

oh and in regards to EMT's - if you can get to know your local EMT's, the ones that would respond, you can really have good convos about what the wishes are well a head of when that time might come. Yes they are trained as EMTs and have their rules they must follow, they are also people, they get it. The ones that I've need to use for Brian are fantastic. They know us by name, it's a small company and I have no doubt they would follow wishes. Just a thought.

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Old 09-04-2017, 01:00 PM #32 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

No doubt, if you are able to get to know the EMTs (and local ER), that would be ideal. Still, you never know who might be new or what directives have been thrown over the wall, so if you have custom wishes, I would make sure they are in writing and in a form the EMTs/ER is prepared to process.
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Old 09-04-2017, 02:03 PM #33 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Great point by Sue about the EMT's.

Definitely we found that getting to know all the teams and health professionals early really helped later in crisis. I think making several copies of any health orders is very smart so you can always have them on you. If you make up a hospital bag a copy goes in there, in your bag, in the car, on the fridge, beside the front door and the originals somewhere safe but easy to reach. Then you can also make a short version sign.

What helped for Chris with the urinal was he found it easier to use if he stood up and I held it. I would stand beside him but just slightly behind him facing the other way. Even though I'm his wife he found it hard to 'go' if I was looking at him Pretty understandable!

After a while he was able to use it even laying in bed, but it really helped to start off getting used to it by standing.

So far as the rest, yeah it's called stir crazy and I get it. We need to keep talking so you can figure a way to get someone there for a couple of short times a week that you can get out and just let it out.
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Old 09-04-2017, 08:27 PM #34 (permalink)
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Well I got out of the house today but was at the rent house working my tail off... Got pretty much everything out of there and a ton of cleaning done.

The idiot (DD's husband) was there when I got there screaming at my daughter. Told him to calm down or I was calling the police. Well lets just say I called the police. He left before they got there of course.

At least it was a productive day.

My SIL came and sat with Cliff. Her surgery is scheduled for the 11th I think so today was probably the last opportunity for her to sit with him before that.

Maybe I can get my daughter to sit with him soon... I would love a pedicure.

We have a shower/commode chair and a transfer board. He was able to use the urinal with no problem. I am going to work on getting him to use it more. It is so much easier.

Thanks for all the information on everything. There are some really good suggestions. I will check on who the EMT's are here. Not sure the company our town uses are locals?!
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Old 09-05-2017, 08:51 AM #35 (permalink)
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Sooner I'm glad you could get out of the house and do some work. While not the ideal "me" time, all that work still helped to relieve stress I would think.

So sorry about your DD's husband. I'm glad he realized you were serious and maybe that will put a stop to some of it. It's a shame what starts out as something good, sometimes has to end so badly. Hugs.

Glad to hear that Cliff can use the urinal w/o issue and that you have a slide board ready to go. Huge helps.

Good luck getting to know your EMTs. And for what it's worth, at least here in PA, you can call and ask for a declaration stating that the end was expected and they don't have to take someone to the hospital if your Dr is willing to sign the certificate. Not something you are thinking about at this point, but may be relevant in the future. I was informed of that in April with our issue.

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Old 09-05-2017, 02:43 PM #36 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

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Originally Posted by soonerwife View Post
Maybe I can get my daughter to sit with him soon... I would love a pedicure.
Stop right there - OK that's what you must organise right now! Don't let these things become fleeting thoughts, turn them into actions.
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Old 09-05-2017, 06:31 PM #37 (permalink)
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Looks like daughter's apartment will be ready next Monday so either Friday or Saturday, I will go for a pedicure!

Nothing went right with work today. My boss calls me with an unexpected conference call this morning right when I am supposed to feed Cliff... It was just one thing after another.

The weather is beautiful here today, 79 with a little breeze.

Of course Cliff's tube stops up tonight... This was the hardest time I have had getting it unstopped. I really thought we were going to have to go get a replacement. UGH! It was scary but I got it. Seems that it was stopped up very close to where it goes into the stomach. I had to move the clip to get to it. First time I have done that.

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Old 09-06-2017, 11:12 AM #38 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Sooner - yeah for the apartment and the ability to get out and get a pedi!

So sorry that things went wrong yesterday. Seems like when it rains, it pours or at least in my experience.

Hoping you have a better day today.

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Old 09-06-2017, 03:11 PM #39 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

What a day!

I never had even close to a stopped up peg tube, neither with the dangler or the button. Do you flush with lots of water after every use?

What worked to unclog it in the end? (all tips worth hearing!)

May tomorrow be smoother for you both xx
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Old 09-06-2017, 06:08 PM #40 (permalink)
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Today was another rough one... I didn't think I would ever get irritable with Cliff but I am... I feel horrible about that. It isn't his fault. He would never choose this.

5:30 am bathroom accident, he slid out of the lift recliner again... trying to stand up, another mess in the bathroom. I did use the hoyer to lift him from the floor for the first time. That went well. I just don't understand why he is so determined to go to the toilet instead of the urinal. The time and the mess is so frustrating. 6:15pm another mess in the bathroom. UGH!

His right foot and let is really swollen. It has been for a week. The nurse said it should go down at night when his feet are up but it doesn't.

Boss told me today that he has an offer from one of the companies he interviewed with. Right now there is a 55% chance he will take it. UGH!

My DD's husband came to get his son today and when he returned him, he walked inside my house. The a**hole has ALOT of nerve. I didn't say anything but I am not happy. How does he have the nerve to set foot on my property after the way he has talked to me the last weeks. I really want to act ugly!

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Old 09-06-2017, 06:39 PM #41 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Sooner - so sorry about all you went through with Cliff today. Great job using the hoyer to pick him up and saving your back. Did you ask him if he'd be willing to try the commode chair at least, then he doesn't have to walk at all?

Is Cliff complaining of pain in the swollen foot /leg, like it was injured in one of his many mishaps? Brian went through swelling but we figured out it was caused my the Jevity he was on. When we change the formula the swelling completely went away. However, when he first started with symptoms, the leg that went first, first symptoms was swollen.

I'm so very sorry your boss may be leaving. I know how hard that is for your esp right now and all he's done and his understanding of your situation.

While you would prefer to never see your soon to be x SIL, at least you know he safely returned your grandson. Be happy that he did and try to think of that instead.

Hugs,

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Old 09-06-2017, 06:44 PM #42 (permalink)
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I just spoke with him and he has agreed to use the handheld urinal every time now. We will see. I so hope so. The cleaning the same mess over and over gets really old. Especially when you could eliminate it with one easy thing.

He says there is no pain. I don't think it is injured. It is only one leg and foot. It is much larger than the other.

I am glad he returned my grandson but I am not happy that he was cussing and screaming and harassing my DD last night and then today is hunky dory. That's why they are separated, he can't control himself. UGH!
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Old 09-07-2017, 07:02 AM #43 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Sooner, every time I start to feel overwhelmed, I read a thread like yours and feel like a whimp. You have so much more going on, and the stage your husband is at is very, very difficult. It's sad to say that I'm more comfortable leaving the house for a short period now, when Matt is very immobile, but now i know he can't fall out of bed.

The urinal is a godsend. We're finally on to condom Cathy, but still have "malfunctions" more often than I like.

The swelling of only one leg is odd. Any chance of a blood clot?
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Old 09-07-2017, 03:24 PM #44 (permalink)
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Yes I was thinking you should get that leg checked over in case there is a clot.

Circulation issues are more often in both legs, but not always.

Do you massage with lymph clearing movements and elevate?

I'm so glad he is agreeing to a urinal, it's awful to start the day with bathroom accidents. You are doing such an amazing job - even when overwhelmed!
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Old 09-07-2017, 05:45 PM #45 (permalink)
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Is the swollen leg warmer than the other? Any discoloration? When u push it in the swollen area does it stay pushed in or does it change color?
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