Old 09-29-2017, 10:50 PM #151 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

I am so hoping for some time to sit on the porch...

This morning, the nurse, the chaplain, and the social worker came at about the same time. It was a circus for a bit. Meds showed up at 8:15 pm tonight. PI hate that the poor guy was still making deliveries at that time of night. I wasn't his last stop either.

My DD is staying at her apartment again tonite. It's another quiet evening here.

My DS came and sat with his dad today while I went to the funeral home. They gave me some paperwork and I made an appointment for Monday at 9 to get things started. I really want to be able to think clearly and prepare the service that Cliff deserves. I am a planner so that will be one more thing that I don't have to worry about.

Tomorrow the man that is buying the rent house is driving down from Illinois. The called today wanting to know the name we wanted on the cashier's check. I can't wait until that is a done deal.

My BIL mowed my lawn today and the rent house lawn. He also picked me up a dry erase board to jot things down on.

I am going to try this weekend to get some things together for the aid and the nurse. I want to have a notebook or binder set up for her to write his stats in so I have those available to look back at.

Cliff's Bp was 174/100 when the nurse was here this morning so I started him on his bp meds again.
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Old 09-29-2017, 11:11 PM #152 (permalink)
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I am so glad you are getting the help you need! It is good to know there are bosses and friends out there that are so supportive!
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Old 09-30-2017, 07:58 AM #153 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Sooner, I'm sorry to hear about all that you have had going on and the changes. I'm just catching up and glad to hear you are able to take some time to focus on things at home and you are getting help. You've had so much to deal with, you need some quieter moments to adjust to all the changes, I'm sure. It will be good to have decisions made and some other people involved. It does seem like things can continue at a certain level for awhile and then change overnight. Sometimes hard to catch up once the changes begin. Hugs, Judy
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Old 09-30-2017, 03:36 PM #154 (permalink)
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So glad you are starting to feel like you can manage what you have on your plate, it was certainly piled way too high!
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Old 09-30-2017, 04:31 PM #155 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Sooner - I meant to address the funeral stuff the other day too. I did that the spring before Brian got his vent. I knew he was going downhill and I too didn't want to have to deal with all of that while emotional. I did both of ours, so now my kids don't have to deal either. I will tell you that the funeral has to be paid upfront. . It wasn't inexpensive. I did funeral pre-planning which is basically and insurance policy and I also bought cemetary plots. Hugs to you as you do this, there are a lot of decision.

Sounds like you are starting to get organized, and that's a really good thing.

With starting a new nurse this weekend, I realized what all need tweaked. It's surprising what you can forget to tell them.

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Old 09-30-2017, 07:36 PM #156 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

I can imagine Sue. We get so used to just doing things, we forget that not everyone knows how to do it all.

So I just got home from meeting with the buyer on the rent house. Mind you, a week ago, he was saying "I want it", "Consider it sold"... Now he is saying, "I will let you know on Monday." Wth? So frustrating! They gave me no idea why they were reconsidering. Did they think the house didn't need any work? That's why it is cheap!!! Ugh! I shouldn't be upset yet, he hasn't said he doesn't want it but now I get to worry about it until Monday.

Tomorrow a volunteer is coming to do some light housekeeping. I am happy about that. My BIL is going to pick me up a case of blackberry vine from my favorite winery tomorrow too. You can bet I will be having a glass of wine tomorrow evening.
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Old 10-02-2017, 03:37 PM #157 (permalink)
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Fingers crossed for the house sale!

So how as the wine?
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Old 10-02-2017, 04:44 PM #158 (permalink)
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Well still no word on the house sale. He told me he would let me know Monday... Since it is 3:15 pm and I haven't heard from him I am guessing that isn't good news. Otherwise I would assume he would have wanted to sign papers this morning so he could get busy on it. UGH!

I had an appointment with the funeral home this morning. I picked out the casket and I bought two plots. I love where the plots are. I can see his parents graves and tombstones from there and we will be under a big beautiful oak tree. It's like the only tree in the cemetary, lol! No idea how those plots were available. Seems like they were just meant for him and I.

A friend of ours came over yesterday, she was a classmate of Cliffs. We were chatting and she mentioned that Cliff had asked another friend of his that is a writer for the newspaper to write his obituary. I had no idea. I messaged her and he had asked her right after he was diagnosed. He told her he didn't want me to have to do it when the time came... That's the one of the things I love most about him, he is always looking out for me and others. Unfortunately she never got with him and got it done back then. She is planning to come over Thursday evening and start on it. The guy at the funeral home who knows both of them said she should contact Cliff and ask if he still wants her too. I think that's a great idea. Maybe he will tell her his wishes. He never shares those things with me.

My DD stayed with Cliff while I went this morning. She also sat with him while I had lunch with my bestie which was awesome. I even ran to Walmart and picked up some binders, a planner, a notebook and some sheet protectors and dry erase markers so I can get started on organization for the helpers.

Oh and a friend came yesterday and did 3 hrs of cleaning. Her dad was a great friend and coworker of Cliffs. She has known Cliff most of her life. She is so sweet. She also brought me dinner.

My BIL picked up my case of blackberry wine. I had two glasses on the back patio yesterday evening. It was awesome.

Cliff is having more saliva issues lately. I am guessing because I upped his water intake because of his decrease in urine and he was having more thick secretion problems. So we have been up pretty much every hour the last two nights. At midnight, I gave him two more 1% Atropine drops which helped. We then slept til 5. It is so hard to find the balance between how much water and how much you give him to dry up and then thin the secretions.
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Old 10-02-2017, 07:52 PM #159 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Sooner - so sorry about the house, I'm sure someone will come along. Who knows maybe tomorrow will bring better news.

I'm happy to hear things went well at the funeral home and cemetery I found all of that a bit difficult emotionally when i did it. The hardest part being all the choices. And of course, like you, I did it alone.

I'm happy your DD was there to take care of Cliff and allow you to get to lunch as well. I know exactly how good that feels. And they getting to have the wine too. Perfect.

I can totally relate to the saliva issues. Brian is the same way, up one thing, then you have to up the other and then that give problems with the first. It feels like a never ending battle.

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Old 10-03-2017, 08:44 PM #160 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Well the house did NOT sell. I am so disappointed that someone would handle things like this guy did. He left me hanging until I messaged today. He said the house needed more work than he realized and he was going to pass... Why couldn't he tell me that Saturday or Sunday or even Monday like he said he would. GRRR!

So now I have to either offer it to others as is or put some work into it and sell it for more. I think I will call our contractor friend and have him do a walk thru. Maybe he can tell me what he would tackle is he were selling it and also maybe what he would charge to do some of the work?! Probably need to buy some paint and see if I can round up some volunteers to help paint?!

I had hospice bring out a bed extender for Cliff. He slides down in the bed almost immediately after getting in bed. He has to have the head of the bed up so he can breathe the best. Any suggestions on how to keep him in place during the night?

Tillie, I received the candy jar today and the candy. I think I should have bought two though. One for the office where Cliff spends his time and one for the bedroom where the aid cleans up.

I haven't made it very far on the organization. I did get two month credit card bill reconciled and called them and asked them if they could possibly remove the late fee and interest I incurred when I overlooked the payment. They said that wouldn't be a problem and it should be done in 3-5 days. That makes me feel better and will save me $70.

I also got Cliff's Sono's player working today. Computer issues are frustrating but it sure is nice when you get it fixed.

Cliff is still having tons of problems with excess secretions. It is pooling in his mask now. I don't really understand why they are more out of control that they were?! Maybe he is growing immune to the 1% Atropine?!

Two of my coworkers are coming to visit tomorrow evening. I am looking forward to that.

Two volunteers came today and did some light cleaning for me. I always appreciate that!

One of the ones that came today is a very supportive friend of Cliffs. I told her I went to the funeral home yesterday and that Cliff has told me nothing about his wishes... She was like, "He sent me a list of music that he wants played in November 2015." I am sure this is the same time that he asked his other friend to write his eulogy. So at least I know what music he wants which is huge since music has been his life.
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Old 10-04-2017, 01:13 AM #161 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Sooner, I'm sorry the rental house did not sell. I think it may be a good idea to ask the contractor what are the biggest problems that he sees, and determine if any are easy & inexpensive to fix. He will also be a good source of determining whether you would recoup any of your expenses incurred in sprucing the house up.

I'm glad you are finding some help/volunteers. I'm sure that is helpful and encouraging.

I had asked my husband to help write an obit over a year ago. I hope that is not terribly insensitive, but I know I would not do a good job, especially when stressed out. He has not told me if he ever worked on it or not. I have also thought of asking one or two of Dave's professional friends & associates if they would consider writing it. We discussed our wishes years ago regarding "the end" ....... both of us want to be cremated and ashes spread at our favorite places. We also want a variation of an Irish wake - an informal celebration of life party complete with photos of younger & happier times, good music, good wine and sharing memories.

I hope you enjoy your visit with your co-workers tomorrow evening!
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Old 10-04-2017, 01:40 AM #162 (permalink)
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Sooner, if Cliff is placed into the "sweet spot" with the feet and head both already up, he shouldn't slide, assuming you use a non-slippery fitted sheet?
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Old 10-04-2017, 11:40 AM #163 (permalink)
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I am not using a non-slippery fitted sheet, I didn't know about those. I am using regular xl twin cotton fitted sheet..... I don't think we had his knees up yet when he slid down.

I am really having a hard time figuring out what to do about the rent house... DD thinks I should post it on some websites and try to sell it as is. Maybe I will do that and see if I get any interest before I start making thousands of dollars of updating.

Looking forward to my friends coming. Hopefully we can enjoy the back porch if the weather clears up. Flash floods here.

Still trying to make it through the piles of things that have been let go for a while...

After I finish this pile, I am going to start going through pictures. I think I am going to scan them all in and mark the ones I want for the funeral. That seems like the best way at this point.

Tomorrow evening, Cliff's writer friend is going to come get started on the obituary.
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Old 10-04-2017, 02:48 PM #164 (permalink)
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Default Re: Overwhelmed

Sorry, I just meant "regular" cotton sheet, myself. Again, we always had a foam overlay underneath and I think that creates a little more resistance to movement as well, if you don't have one. Plus, have the head and feet exactly as they need to be for him to settle in the middle.
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Old 10-04-2017, 04:49 PM #165 (permalink)
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I have a memory foam overlay but he is now on the low air loss alternating mattress so I am not using it. I assumed it would defeat the purpose of the low air loss alternating mattress?!
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