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Lkaibel

Very helpful member
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Joined
May 9, 2016
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1,529
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Lost a loved one
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06/2016
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US
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MN
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Minneapolis
I did some small things today that made me feel better.

I moved the weights and bench from the middle of the basement that I had to look at every time I fed the cats (he does not do that anymore). He had not used them since November and today I realized it was paining me to see those All The Time.

I hauled a bunch of things in from the cars that it occurred to me my brain had been in denial that Brian could no longer haul. I got things into the house and that felt good too. Truth hurts but the truth frees.

I bought a ton of makeup and opened the packages and put it in my cosmetics case. I have been running around without mascara on, at work. Sometimes I don't even wear earrings. SO unlike me. It felt good to stock up on makeup somehow.

Last, I started talking about setting up someone to clean for us. He was good with that. It was ME dreading the conversation I kept wanting to spare him from. Brian spent 5 hours crawling around the floors this week cleaning because he can still do that but he is sore for days afterwards, too much strain. He agreed! Yet he did not want me to it. Now, neither of us will have to do it.

Next, I am signing up for grocery delivery AND one of those services where they deliver three meals worth of dinner menus per week. It costs too much, but right now I really don't care. It sounds heavenly.

Tonight after I do cat boxes I am off to grab a reasonably healthy deli dinner.

It requires some support to handle a big, full time job and a PALS with declining abilities even when he is in slow progression. I feel like I am facing that for real now, and it's good.
 
I am so happy for you. For 2 years I didnt wear makeup and that was one of my first purchases when I began to look after myself.

I will caution you about the 3 meals thingy. I did hello fresh. Very good but.....had to chop and chop and really cook. You got a recipe card and ingredients but no less work. I hope yours turns out the way you want!

Congratulations on grocery delivery and someone to clean. It will be liberating for you and let you spend more quality time as a wife with your husband. I am incredibly happy for you.
 
Wow that's huge because it is so many small things and actually not a single one really was small!

You need to do what works and acceptance helps to get the kind of help you need. So here's to putting stuff away, wearing makeup, eating well and having a maid - every woman needs a maid!
 
Good for you Lenore...and you so many in one day! Happy for you and impressed. Kate
 
Lenore what you did today is awesome! I probably need to do some of the same, however I do have to care about the cost unfortunately. I'm happy you can get groceries delivered. I can't seem to find that here and I'm not in a small town. Even Amazon Fresh isn't here. Getting the makeup will make you feel so much better. Congrats on taking all of those small Big steps.

Hugs,

Sue
 
Sue it took me breaking a toe to accept help from a girlfriend on the shopping. I would email her the list, she would shop and deliver it to me, then I would transfer the money back to her online.

It was so incredibly amazing for me, and she must eat very differently to me because she said it was like a treasure hunt and great fun.

Is there anyone at all that might do something like that for you?
 
here's a big small thing - zip codes in rural Australia. I have lived in the same zip code for the past 30 years. However the total driving distance from one home I lived in on one side of that zip code to another I lived in is 60km. It was a long distance phone call for me to call my old neighbours from the new house within the same zip code.

In fact, from the home I live in now to either of those would be nearly 50km.

I know, weird hey, and sorry totally off topic and hijacking. :confused:
 
Suggestions for others to get help are not off topic Tillie they are good!

Well we have to care about cost too, but at the moment I think I will give us enough leeway to not care if I am spending $7 or $10 a serving for three dinners per week. The services can actually end up being cheaper and less wasteful because the food is portioned without extra you won't use.
 
Hello Lenore, my wife spent about fourth five years working before she retired, shortly afterwards I was diagnosed. We decided that we did not want to change her routine anymore then needed. She still goes out with our daughter in law a few times a week, still gets her hair done every couple of weeks and her nails done every couple of weeks. Sees her out of town sister every week or so, she has then most of her old work time, about fourth hours a week to take care of me but try's to keep her personal time for her. It has been working fine and it gets her out of the house. Almost as much as when she worked. As she says " all is good"

Al
 
Sue, Make it work for you. So if you can only have a housekeeper every 4 or 6 weeks do it. Visiting angels is a groip that is supposedly national, and does shopping,cooking, and cleaning. I dont know anything about them but I hear radio ads. It may be worth looking into...
 
Laurie, I checked the links you found, not sure why I couldn't find them here. The first one is really pricy compared to what I normally pay for most things. Some things were 5x as much, most were double or triple. I know they have to cover delivery, but that was rediculous. The other too were more reasonable

I do have to admit that shopping seems like a break to me, so more thought has to go into that idea. I'm sure it will seem more appealing when DD heads off to grad school in the fall.

Hugs,

Sue
 
Whatever works, Sue. Sometimes you mix and match. I found grocery shopping on line therapeutic in its own way, since I couldn't usually go out. Another pickup option for you is Walmart, I noticed.
 
Laurie - some Walmarts have pick up, others don't the one near me is small, has limited groceries, no fresh meat and just a sprinkling of veg and they don't do the pick up thing. I'm in the suburbs, not far from the city, but the way it works here, some areas have more access to things than others. It's weird. Not giving up the idea though.
 
Could you order from a different walmart and have uber pickit up? That is an option in some places
 
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