califsand
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2007
- Messages
- 237
- Diagnosis
- 01/2004
- Country
- US
- State
- ca
- City
- sant barbara
Hi everyone,
My brother just went home after giving our Dad his shower. My brother comes every other day and takes Dad into the shower and gives him a full/real shower. It's becoming increasingly difficult to do and tonight he told me that it is time to call Hospice, for our father's sake, and see if we can get him on the waiting list for a bed.
This has been a topic of conversation lately and not just him, but our cousin (the only person who can/will take Dad on outings) have both said that his decline is speeding up and that he needs to go to Hospice. They know that I'm exhausted and they know of my mixed emotions about providing care for Dad, and I've worried that they had been mentioning it for MY sake. In fact, my brother has been asking me to contact Hospice for two weeks or more now... and he just stressed to me that it has nothing to do with ME but only to do with our Dad. He feels that Dad needs a more skilled level of care, period.
I am so conflicted because it feels like if I call Hospice I am giving up on my Dad. Exhausted and depressed as I get, I have been caring for him for a while now and do it because I want him to be as happy as possible. I feel he is happy here, for the first time since the onset of his illness, and even though it is really hard on me sometimes, I don't want to put him in Hospice because it will make my life easier. It WILL make my life 1,000 times easier, and that thought makes me feel guilty. I know that my feelings, all of the good, bad & ugly, are natural but I'm still so conflicted.
I'd love to get feedback from those of you who understand what I'm going through... I know that it's time to call but the idea hurts me. I need support from people who know what I am going through.
Thanks!
My brother just went home after giving our Dad his shower. My brother comes every other day and takes Dad into the shower and gives him a full/real shower. It's becoming increasingly difficult to do and tonight he told me that it is time to call Hospice, for our father's sake, and see if we can get him on the waiting list for a bed.
This has been a topic of conversation lately and not just him, but our cousin (the only person who can/will take Dad on outings) have both said that his decline is speeding up and that he needs to go to Hospice. They know that I'm exhausted and they know of my mixed emotions about providing care for Dad, and I've worried that they had been mentioning it for MY sake. In fact, my brother has been asking me to contact Hospice for two weeks or more now... and he just stressed to me that it has nothing to do with ME but only to do with our Dad. He feels that Dad needs a more skilled level of care, period.
I am so conflicted because it feels like if I call Hospice I am giving up on my Dad. Exhausted and depressed as I get, I have been caring for him for a while now and do it because I want him to be as happy as possible. I feel he is happy here, for the first time since the onset of his illness, and even though it is really hard on me sometimes, I don't want to put him in Hospice because it will make my life easier. It WILL make my life 1,000 times easier, and that thought makes me feel guilty. I know that my feelings, all of the good, bad & ugly, are natural but I'm still so conflicted.
I'd love to get feedback from those of you who understand what I'm going through... I know that it's time to call but the idea hurts me. I need support from people who know what I am going through.
Thanks!