HElp

[ccordone]

I feel very guilty even writing about this. My husband is making me crazy. He is completely mean to my son and myself. I try to do everything exactly the way he wants but I can never do anything correct.
I have 45 hours of care but it is not enough. He is up all night and so am I. I then have to work in the morning.. I am a teacher and have summer off which I think helps ,me sleep ALITTLE more.

I was thinking about sending him to hospice before school starts. But I feel guilty. I worry about my son and how his father yelling and screaming all the time and his well being. I have were little family help. Family lives 2000 miles away.
Has anyone ever sent there spouse to hospice with out there consent

Any ideas and info will help. Thanks
Caregiver in need of advise

 

[lgelb]

Hi, CC --

Sorry you are at your wit's end. Can you tell us more about how he is compared with how he was? What are his physical capabilities? Does he meet hospice criteria? That is not somewhere you can leave someone indefinitely; there are severe restrictions. Do you mean a nursing home? Does he have a PEG/BiPAP?

Any prospects for more in-home help or moving to be nearer family, or anyone moving nearer to you? Do you have friends who support you emotionally?

Best,
Laurie

 

[ccordone]

Hi, CC --

Sorry you are at your wit's end. Can you tell us more about how he is compared with how he was? What are his physical capabilities? Does he meet hospice criteria? That is not somewhere you can leave someone indefinitely; there are severe restrictions. Do you mean a nursing home? Does he have a PEG/BiPAP?

Any prospects for more in-home help or moving to be nearer family, or anyone moving nearer to you? Do you have friends who support you emotionally?

Best,
Laurie

One my husband has changed a lot my husband can't do anything. He hands and legs are not working. He is currently having problems swallowing He has lost 190 pounds to 135 pounds. Hospice has come and they said he does qualify for it. He doesn't want a feeding tube, or anything else. He currently is a lot of pain and refuses to take anything. That is the problem. I have visiting nurses but may people call in . I need to work for my son and myself insurance. My son is only 11 years old. My husband is only 55 , to young for a nursing home. Emotionally my friends are great. But it is overwhelming especially for my son

That is who I am also concerned with

I am going to meet with hospice next week for extra help.

 

[Atsugi]

You're doing the right thing.

 

[affected]

I can't see why he would not meet hospice criteria as he has a terminal illness and is a high care PALS.

You do have to weigh up what is best for everyone, not just your PALS, and when there are children at home I can't imagine how hard that juggling gets.

I hope hospice can turn things around to a sustainable situation for you!

 

[Nuts]

CC, every situation is different, and you must protect your son and yourself. I taught high school for five years, and I can't imagine being a teacher and dealing with ALS, especially with the behavior it appears to be causing in your husband. Summer is barely enough time to recover from the school year, and you are NOT relaxing and recovering.

Your husband gets to make decisions for himself about what he will or will not accept in the way of interventions, and you have the responsiblity to protect your son and preserve your health. Please do not feel guilty, and if this is the route you chose, don't wait until school starts. Give yourself a break for your sake and for your student's sake.

Becky