Moodiness

[jayswife]

Jay has been so moody lately. I get it, he's struggling and I'm the closest one to him so he's taking it out on me. But lately it's really bothering me and I'm not sure how to handle it. He doesn't really talk to me at all but to tell me to itch him, re position him, take him to the bathroom, etc. It's so lonely. But when friends or family come to visit he's good and talkative. He seems to get mad at me so often for such little things. And he's becoming quite demanding and never takes into consideration how tired I am. Is this common? It's like half the time I never know why he's mad at me. I work four hours at work and then four hours at home per day. Our caregiver is with him until I come home and it's like the second I walk in the door he's demanding things from me. When we first got approved for four hours he said he would have breakfast and lunch so that when I come home I can concentrate on work and not have to feed him. But he never does this. It's always and excuse. I feel like he never tries to make anything easier on me. His son came last night to visit and I'm just waiting for him to say he wants them to move in again. Who knows, maybe he won't this time. Did i tell you that he told me to register his car. I asked what his intentions are because I think we should sell it but he said that when his son and girlfriend come down they can take him out in the car so they don't use up their gas. Ok, so I have to go thru the frustration of registering the car and taking it to emissions which it won't pass and handle all of that with all the free time that I have and spend the money on it and put gas in it so they can take him out? That's ridiculous. When my son uses his car to take Jay somewhere he never tries to reimburse him for the gas money so why is he doing this for his son. My son goes to a good college and works full time summers at a yacht club as a lifeguard and a dock hand. He's been at this job for four years and bought his own car with his own money. It's so annoying. I just ignored him and will not register the car. They can't even afford gas money but they should move in our house? We don't have money like that. His son is going to take his driving test - finally. If he passes I'm pretty sure he's going to give his car to his son. We really could use the $4000 that we'd most likely get for it but I have to understand he wants to help his son out. I just feel at this point I have to start thinking of myself and I do not want to be stuck with his kid and the girlfriend in the house.

 

[Nuts]

Stand strong on now allowing them to move in. Give them the car if you must--at least that way you aren't responsible for registering, maintaining, fueling and paying for insurance for it. From what you've said, they won't keep it long, but that can be between Jay and his son. Just hold off until after the driving test and let the son jump through all of those hoops. You don't have time.

Without mentioning even the faintest possibility of them moving in, why not ask them to take over for awhile the next time they come? They should be giving you respite time when they visit. Make your time away long enough that they really need to step up. If the doesn't work, point blank ask them for help when they are there.

Becky

 

[Narrowminded]

My husband will be that way with me too. I reminded him just the other night that he needs to remember the magic words again. He does not realize how far a please and thank you will go. Like yours move this, change that.... Today I came home to find our Tues nurse in tears. This gal is one strong thing, our age 50's, and military. This is not the first nurse he reduced to tears. You are definitely not alone. I feel for you completely.

I agree with Becky on the car thing as well. And getting his son to step up.

sue