I can only try to understand how our PALS feel. I have no doubt that their grief is an entirely different experience from ours, and I do try to give my husband some space because of that. I don't, however, think that we as caregivers should quietly allow anger about ALS to be directed at us. It will hurt us, and ultimately that will be bad for our PALS. I think it is fair and smart to calmly acknowledge your mom's right to be angry, but then explain that you are angry also and then point out that she appears to be taking her anger and pain out on you. Not in an accusatory manner, but as gently as possible. Reassure her that you love her and will be there for her, but tell her that when she vents her anger on you that it makes things even harder. Sometimes the conversation doesn't work--but it's worth a try.
Becky