Bearer of bad news..

[KatieNBoyd]

So my PALS, my husband has been an announcer and auctioneer for many years. Working fundraisers, art auctions, parades and such. He is holding out telling everyone that he hopes to do them again. Everyone can see that he is just not able to do it, his voic has gone,he has no strength, no stamina. I was called today and told that he isn't going to be asked to do any of them anymore. Now it is left to me to have to break this news to him. I am so sad. I don't have the heart to tell him. Just something else that I am left to do. Any suggestions on how I should tell him or to help cope

 

[affected]

Oh Katie, how tough that it's left to you

Is there another role in organising etc that he would be able to do, and that he would feel valuable doing?

If there is something, can you talk to 'them' first about a different role before you talk to hubby?

 

[scaredwifetx]

Katie, I am so sad for you. I think it is so unfair to have to be the one dealing out bad news. Not sure why they could not find something else for him to do to soften the blow. You are in my thoughts.

 

[lgelb]

I agree with trying to craft another role, like suggesting potential donors/donations from his experience, event strategies/marketing, event themes, ramping up bidding. I would just meet it head on and say, "Joe called and since he knew your voice isn't up to auctioneering, he wanted to make sure that you could meet on Tuesday and work on..." And I would make sure your husband has the devices/apps he needs to keep working, however slowly or laboriously, still the best medicine.

Best,
Laurie

 

[gooseberry]

I ran into this several times....where I had to be the bearer of health news, functional changes etc. It really sucked.

I generally told Steve but had options for him lined up. For instance ...our trip out west was not a hit with the docs but I had hospitals listed, contact docs, and brought a helper. So while he got the news relayed and the concerns, I had a plan for all of them before we spoke.

 

[tripete]

We loose and we loose. This disease just keeps taking from us - it is what it does. The new norm is wondering what will be next. I am a shell of what I once was and just wait for the end. We try and squeeze in as many trips etc as possible but it gets harder and harder as more and more is taken away.

 

[gooseberry]

It gets very hard for everyone. It is a struggle to be the one relaying the rotten news, the one who knows and doesnt want to accept it yet and really doesnt need to be told, and for everyone close to them.

 

[KatieNBoyd]

We were able to get him to be a spotter during the auction. It will be fun. However, these days just walking out to the car exhausts him, I am not sure what July holds (that is when the auction is)
Thank you all for your thoughts.

 

[BlueandGold]

I know exactly how he feels Katie. Sometimes our strength goes so fast. I can't wait to get my chair so I can be outside. 25 yards makes my legs feel like they weigh 200lbs a piece. Spend most of my day in my recliner or on the porch swing if the weather is nice. Just so tired.

Vince

 

[KatieNBoyd]

Thank you Vince. I think of you a lot. Even when we were at Mayo he refused the wheelchair. We have a lite travel chair too and he will not use it.

 

[BlueandGold]

Katie I will use the hell out of my chair! I love being outside and when they brought me the demo chair and I flew all around my property and out to my pond and over to my parents house with NO shortness of breath and NO fatigue I thought, this is going to be awesome! I hope your hubby can overcome the stigma and realize how much easier it will make every day.

Vince

 

[tripete]

I bought an inexpensive collapsible power chair off Craigs List. I then changed the battery position to make it so it could still have the batteries on when collapsed. It fits well in the trunk of our car and is easy to use.