Not so little losses

[Nuts]

I'm now the only driver in the house. Hubby hasn't driven in months, but kept holding out for one more attempt (the last time he tried he couldn't turn the steering wheel between 9 and 12. I swapped the seats yesterday and the result was the same, so we drove to the DMV today to turn in the liscense and get a state ID. I'm so grateful that it was his decision and that I'm the only one who has had an accident up to this point.

I had another a few days ago, but at least it didn't involve anyone else. Backing out of the garage in the truck I misjudged the garage door. It wasn't up all the way and the shell hit it, damaging the paint on the shell and damaging the garage door. I'm on a roll! I was ok with the damage--at this point a few scratches and dents in a door are seriously small stuff, but apparently hubby feels differently about things being damaged. Sigh. So while I wasn't upset about the damage, I wound up being very upset about disappointing him. Small meltdown--probably just enough to release a little pressure.

 

[affected]

I applaud Matt for making the decision and handing his licence in.
It's a huge loss. A drivers licence is kind of part of our admission into adulthood. But driving is a privilege not a right, so he did good.

Dang, carers brain is setting in, but as you know, a little damage to a door or something is nothing in the big picture. I can understand that it felt awful so see Matt's reaction. You are only a queen, not quite god eh xxx

 

[JimInVA]

Darcey remembers when she made the conscious decision to stop driving. At the time, she was certain that she'd get it back when she got better. It was the time during which they were chasing CIDP... recoverable with treatment. She comments that it would likely have been even more difficult had she understood she'd never regain the ability to drive. We both applaud Matt for the good decision and you for taking on the chauffeur duties. Our best to you both...

Jim and Darcey

 

[scaredwifetx]

Steve gave up driving a couple of months ago after almost running of the road with his brother as passenger. Now his brother takes him where he needs to go. Steve did not seem to mind giving it up. Nuts, I hit the van with my car and then hit the post in my driveway.
I ended up denting both sides of my car. I am like you and think there are much bigger things to worry about. I must admit that every time I see the dents it reminds me that my head is just not with me at all times. I often wonder what has happened to me. I am so forgetful these days and absent minded. Cant figure out if I need the Zoloft increased or decreased. LOL

 

[gooseberry]

Its cals brain. You are so tired, stressed, and your mind is going in a hundred different directions. Just look at is as an adventure and try not to get upset.

 

[Nuts]

It is definitely an adventure, Steph.

Scared, both sides of the car, that's impressive!! Mine is still in the shop from the accident (was it in January?). I'm in no hurry to get it back, can't drive more than one at a time anyway.

Tillie, that's so funny--nope, I'm not God--he'd retain that title for himself . I may use that in the future...

Jim, my driving him is probably one of the biggest shifts around here. He ALWAYS drive before, and I was happy to let him. I miss my car naps!

He stops working next month--keeping him busy without adding to my day is going to be a challenge. Mr Always Doing Something needs a new kind of pastime--one that doesn't involve me

Becky
Queen of Everything

 

[pittsburghgal]

My PALS had a really difficult time giving up driving. He couldn't use the turn signals or put on the windshield wipers but felt that he was still ok to drive since he wouldn't drive far. I was a wreck! He wouldn't listen to my pleas to stop driving. I asked his brother and sister to talk to him but still he refused. Then when we went to the ALS clinic I asked his neurologist if it was safe for him to drive. There was a look of shock on his face like he just couldn't believe that he was still driving. He very diplomatically told my husband that it really wasn't safe for him to drive since he had such limited use of his hands and arms and thank God, my husband actually accepted this and did not drive again. I know he was very sad about this and I felt his sadness but was relieved at the same time.

Sharon

 

[Green Queen]

Becky these days I'm the queen of back seat driving. Even when I'm in a taxi.
I have never regretted giving up my licence, safer for everyone.

Oh yeah, ten days before we got married I hit wayne's mums house with his car...he still married me...

I don't think you would have disappointed Matt. I think he would have been more disappointed if you hadn't given it a go...

 

[alligator]

losing the ability to drive for anyone is difficult. it is a symbol of independence, mobility and leadership--especially if you have children. If you are a parent of anyone under the age of sixteen and can't drive, you lose a bit of your parental identity. we all complain about being soccer moms or dads, but secretly, we know the days of dependency will come to an end and there will be some sadness. When ALS "steals" those days, the sadness really sets in. I hate to pull gender into this, but as a man, when you lose the ability to drive, it is extra difficult. Driving is somewhat of a symbol of power and even vitality. losing the ability to drive is emasculating--regardless of the reason.

 

[chally]

Hey Becky, I gave driving up even before I met you& matt, was hard to get used to Beth's driving but I did and now it' all good.
I use wrist bands called "sea bands" for motion sickness and they work great. We discovered by accident that if I sit in the far back in PWC than I am less likely to give a rats a$$ about the road and I just look out the side windows. Our dog gets front seat " shotgun" and so Beth's happy, dogs happy, and I sit back there listening to books or music and I am happy. Can ' t wait to see ya again in May. Love ya chally

 

[Nuts]

Chally, what really works best is when he leans that chair back and goes to sleep . We are looking forward to seeing you and Beth in DC!! Are you staying at the JW?

 

[scaredwifetx]

Becky, it is quite impressive now that you say it. I mean everyone at work says " Wow you hit both sides before you even got out of the driveway?" Good thing is everyone else is offering to drive so I don't have to worry so much about the way my car looks.

Chally, you got it down right! Steve has also learned to not pay attention. Read first paragraph and you will figure out why. He puts on music and doesn't watch me at all. For our entire marriage he has been a backseat driver of the worst kind. He was a very scary driver when he drove. Of course he doesn't agree. So...

 

[Buckhorn]

I have to laugh a bit when I read these stories ...... NOT that it is even remotely funny when PALS having to give up driving, but for other reasons. I am concerned about knowing when it will be "time" for my husband to give up driving. He is still doing quite well, and he still drives alone (without me with him to "supervise"). I know that when the time arrives when he is not safe to drive any longer, it will be a big deal for him and a loss of his independence; a huge loss. I worry about him when he drives off by himself (I know his reflexes can't be as quick as they once were) - but here comes the "laughable" part. I borrowed my neighbors truck to take some things to the dump, and I cracked up his truck. Yep, me ...... CALS brain. I guess I momentarily forgot how a clutch works in a manual trans!? I have no idea how I did this - as I have driven various forms of "stick" vehicles & trucks since I was 16 (just 10 years ago, HaHa!). I worry about my PAL and he is driving better than me .........

 

[Nuts]

Oh Buckhorn, I have that same brain. I'm still waiting on the car I wrecked in January. It should be done this week! That was before the truck...

I'm just so relieved that hubby didn't have any accidents. Oh, come to think of it, he can cancel that accidental death policy now that he's not driving....

So the next loss looming is his arms...period. He drinks Crystal Light tea all day, but can no longer pick up a pitcher to pour. I found this clever drink dispenser that you put into a jug and just press the glass against it. It fits in the fridge door so the repurposed milk jug (one gallon_) doesn't slide around. He can no longer hold the (plastic) glass long enough to fill it. I fear I waited too long for that device...

 

[Janis J]

I long ago started pouring Gatorade from quart bottles into smaller 12-ounce plastic bottles with only 8 ounces in each one. They were much easier for Douglas to grab by himself, back when he still had some use of his hands. We also use those little bottles for other drinks, including wine (although not 8 ounces at a time).