SLAUGHTER1555
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2015
- Messages
- 107
- Reason
- CALS
- Diagnosis
- 05/2015
- Country
- US
- State
- Oh
- City
- cincinnati
Hi everyone
Today has really been along day with my pals as he woke up this morning wanting to talk as we usually do and he began by telling me how good of a caregiver I am so ok. Then he says he starved for affection! Huh! Like are you serious I try to hug kiss caress say kind words all day long. So we went back and forth about this til he started to cry and have these big out burst! Omgoodness! I was so upset til i told him if he did not stop all that yelling and loud crying out burst i was going to call his daughter and leave. And he does not have PBA i think thats what its called.
So with all that I do on a day to day basis, as tired as i am all of the cleaning and cooking and emptying of things sorry your meaning of affection is not on the top of my list! Before ALS i had a similar problem and i was ignored but now since ALS everything is a bigger issue and ITS NOT FAIR! I try to remind myself that its not about me and this is why he is this way or that way but hey I have feelings too and this is a lot to carry.
I am tired i'm sore my back my neck my legs my feet smh I'm so out of shape just worn out! I have really been contemplating a nursing home or telling his family I cant do it. I did talk to his brother today and told him what was what but all he every says is you can do it or your stronger than you think well yeah that may be true but thats not how i feel right now.
Well we had to take a trip to day and as i was driving i just started to cry but i said no i refuse to cry and i put on a gospel song that said i will trust in the name of the God. Then i tried to encourage him and me as we sat in Walmart parking lot for a while talking. I told him i was not going anywhere one because his daughters would misuse him i think and the level of care i give him i know they would not keep up.
I miss working and i miss my husband now we were and we are trying to adjust but sometimes i dont think we are going to make it thru this smh! I try not to be selfish and think of what i want and me me me but man we didnt sign up for this man i feel like im to young to be doing all this but then i have to remember for better or worse in sickness and in health! Truly those are some serious words and i can help but wonder did i really understand what i said well guess what im finding out now huh
Well as he got ready for bed he kinda started again with the affection thing smh yeah we are not doing this again dont start.
I have yet to read any issues like this on the forum, are there other CALS who have dealt with this affection part of ALS I honestly don't know what to say anymore i feel so pressured and like im doing something wrong and its just one more thing on the list of chores. Sorry to say it in that way. I really dont mean to sound like i'm complaining lord forgive me.
Anyways Im so tired and sore lords will lets see what tomorrow holds and how my pals feels. Hoping were done with this subject and can plan some type of get away cuz we sure do need it. Thanks guys for putting up with me threads. Good night
Slaughter
Today has really been along day with my pals as he woke up this morning wanting to talk as we usually do and he began by telling me how good of a caregiver I am so ok. Then he says he starved for affection! Huh! Like are you serious I try to hug kiss caress say kind words all day long. So we went back and forth about this til he started to cry and have these big out burst! Omgoodness! I was so upset til i told him if he did not stop all that yelling and loud crying out burst i was going to call his daughter and leave. And he does not have PBA i think thats what its called.
So with all that I do on a day to day basis, as tired as i am all of the cleaning and cooking and emptying of things sorry your meaning of affection is not on the top of my list! Before ALS i had a similar problem and i was ignored but now since ALS everything is a bigger issue and ITS NOT FAIR! I try to remind myself that its not about me and this is why he is this way or that way but hey I have feelings too and this is a lot to carry.
I am tired i'm sore my back my neck my legs my feet smh I'm so out of shape just worn out! I have really been contemplating a nursing home or telling his family I cant do it. I did talk to his brother today and told him what was what but all he every says is you can do it or your stronger than you think well yeah that may be true but thats not how i feel right now.
Well we had to take a trip to day and as i was driving i just started to cry but i said no i refuse to cry and i put on a gospel song that said i will trust in the name of the God. Then i tried to encourage him and me as we sat in Walmart parking lot for a while talking. I told him i was not going anywhere one because his daughters would misuse him i think and the level of care i give him i know they would not keep up.
I miss working and i miss my husband now we were and we are trying to adjust but sometimes i dont think we are going to make it thru this smh! I try not to be selfish and think of what i want and me me me but man we didnt sign up for this man i feel like im to young to be doing all this but then i have to remember for better or worse in sickness and in health! Truly those are some serious words and i can help but wonder did i really understand what i said well guess what im finding out now huh
Well as he got ready for bed he kinda started again with the affection thing smh yeah we are not doing this again dont start.
I have yet to read any issues like this on the forum, are there other CALS who have dealt with this affection part of ALS I honestly don't know what to say anymore i feel so pressured and like im doing something wrong and its just one more thing on the list of chores. Sorry to say it in that way. I really dont mean to sound like i'm complaining lord forgive me.
Anyways Im so tired and sore lords will lets see what tomorrow holds and how my pals feels. Hoping were done with this subject and can plan some type of get away cuz we sure do need it. Thanks guys for putting up with me threads. Good night
Slaughter