Conflicted...aren't we all?

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Nuts

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Lost a loved one
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01/2014
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NC
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Littleton
We live in a small neighborhood where people, even if they only see each other once a day on their walks, keep track of each other. On our small stretch of road 5 houses are occupied fulltime (others host weekenders). The man who has been here the longest was struggling with cancer, Matt has ALS, and our good friend down the street has Asbestoses. Oh, another neighbor is a long time and many kinds of cancer survivor--she's doing well. Well, the first man I mentioned, who originally owned all of our lots , who kept an eye on all of our homes when we were away, and who was kind enough to take my mom to church with him and his lady friend, has passed away. The service is Wednesday. Well, the van ramp needs service and I've rescheduled it once already. It's set up for Wednesday because it's a two hour drive each way and I have help here so I don't have to drag Matt out for the trip.

Oh heck, just typing this has helped me realize what I must do. Reschedule the van and the caregiver and go to the service. Thanks for listening.

What conflicts are you, my dear friends, dealing with this week?

Becky

(Tillie, I need a new title. If I were the Queen of Everything, I'd be able to cure this beast. But that's another conflict, isn't it?)
 
Becky, you are still the Queen of Everything. You might not be able to find a cure but you take all that this disease throws your way. I wish this was easier on all of us but thanks to Queens like you, we are supported and can support wach other. A Queenism for you and so rightly deserved.
 

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Appointments, appointments,appointments. Its an ugly week
 
Becky, my conflict for the week is teenage related...

Connor is graduating from primary school this week.
I would like Carrah to wear a dress, not the short shorts they all seem to wear everywhere.

I don't necessarily want to fight her. Graduation is about him not her, and discussing her attire makes it about her...

Her and I fought on his confirmation day earlier this year over dress code.

What do I do?

God bless, Janelle x
 
Can I chip in... Pleeeaase...

I fight everyday, not physically but there is never a day that goes by where there is not something to sort (fight) out... The further we get the harder it is, even a Sunday is not a day of rest here.

It has taught me one thing though.... Never give up... But it is so tiring...
 
Ha Nuts you ain't dumping that crown for another so easy girl - you are the queen of everything, you just ain't god, even you are often mistaken for a goddess!)

Janelle, let her wear whatever she likes - such an easy solution!
 
I so love you all! Ok....Q of E it is.

Janelle, what do you want more-a dress or peace? Baby it's really all about you, so make yourself happy 😍

Here's a funny....the service is January 9, not this week. He's being interred at Arlington and there's a wait.
 
I so love you all! Ok....Q of E it is.
...snip...

Here's a funny....the service is January 9, not this week. He's being interred at Arlington and there's a wait.

Oh that gave me a great laugh! Glad you realise your queen title is a perfect fit!
 
Conflicts--I think I'm losing my mind. I cry all the time and if someone asks me to deviate from my routine..well I'm not very nice about it. I think I'm in danger if making Kathy's illness all about me. I don't want that, but Kathy acts like I'm feeding her to hungry wolves every time I want to leAve the house. I need good mental health, but I can't find the balance.

Janelle, all you can do is explain that dressing up is a way of showing respect and celebrating and then let her do what she wants. You don't really need another fight on your hands.

Dave, you're right! No days off, and it IS exhausting.!

Lots of love to you all

Jen
 
Graduation last night...boo hoo my baby is growing up!

After all my anxiety and worry...she looked gorgeous! Fully clothed! She also went that extra mile and brushed his hair because he wasn't going to. She took all the photos. We went out for tea afterwards and she kept making a fuss of him.

At bedtime he gave her a hug (he's the affectionate type) and she hugged him back!

Now I ask you...WHAT was I worried about? A perfect night.

God bless, Janelle x

PS Jen
Every day is a learning curve. It is about adjusting, but you have to be ready to adjust, no one else.
Some days it IS all about you, it's allowed to be. Some days it needs to be.
You don't need to apologise for anything.
Nobody walks in your shoes, no matter how many times they try them on.
When you are ready, hungry wolves or not, you will know what's right for you.
God bless, j x
 
Jen I'm really concerned for you.

The CALS position must be sustainable or else burn out is a very real result. I've seen it, and brutal honesty there is a death rate for CALS too. Now if your PALS refuses to recognise your needs there may be FTD involved and your need for support increases as your ability to receive it may seem to be decreasing.

Who can you talk to there? A social worker from your ALS chapter or clinic? Someone at the clinic who can have a serious talk with Kathy about how certain things need to be? Your own doctor? You will know best who is appropriate, but this situation cannot continue - seriously it simply cannot continue, something has to change and like now.

YOU are just as important!

Please start talking here, let us help you work for a solution to this part of things with you xxx
 
I feel the burn too....mostly because I am grieving due to this disease yet again. I hate that it takes so much ....I try to see what it has given me....a tight,tight relationship with my son and an appreciation for my husbands strength and courage. Yet I am exhausted like many of you because the work does not stop
 
gooseberry that feeling is a warning sign that you need to recharge.

Just look at how much you have done this year! Is there any chance of a respite break for you in the new year?
 
Actually I am off right now until Thursday. So much to be done. Lots of family coming in in ten days and Steve's birthday is Wednesday. Beginning of the year my weekend helpers will be back. I signed up for in home health at the va. Will be calling for it thru my insurance. They offered respite care but it would mean Steve in the hospital. I would rather not do that since it is flu season here.
 
Hey Becky, just when I thought I knew the answer they changed the question! Also do you want to be right or do you want to be happy! Love chally
 
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