Just can't keep it together this afternoon

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Snowman78

Distinguished member
Joined
Dec 3, 2013
Messages
158
Reason
CALS
Diagnosis
12/2013
Country
US
State
SC
City
Sumter
Hey ya'll, we are having a hard time today and I can't seem to keep it together so here I am. Dad has been doing ok lately, not good but okay, but this morning started off low and just went lower. He was settled when I left for work but mom called upset and needed me home. He had had an accident and she couldn't get him up from the chair. I got him up and onto the potty chair and cleaned him up and put a pull up and some fresh pants on him. His legs have been hold up pretty well but today they are like jello. He pretty much just has a blank stare on his face and could squeak out any words. I got him to the bed and put his bipap mask on him and he was out asleep before we could even get the bed settled and him tucked in. I headed back to work once we had him settled but ever since i got back I can't hold it together and have just sat at my desk weeping. Sorry for the dump but I know ya'll understand, and I can just get it out.
:cry:
 
No need to apologize Snowman, dump here any time you need to. Praying.
 
I hope your Dad wakes to find himself stronger and more aware. He's lucky to have a son who can help during those difficult times. That part which you could do, you rose to and accomplished in good order... a welcome aid for your Mom, I'm sure. Well done, Snowman! Well done, indeed!

Jim
 
Thanks ya'll, me and mom make a pretty good team. I hold up pretty well usually but when it hits me I just fall apart and it takes me a little bit to pull it together.
 
It does keep hitting you at different times, just what is truly happening and the losses.

I hope your dad feels a bit better after a sleep with bipap. I'm sure that your mum is just so grateful that she could call on you like this.

As hard as this is right now, you will never regret one moment of the hardship later. Vent to us, let us understand and support you, we can't make him all better but we can be here.

Don't be afraid to fall apart now and then either. It is a pressure release and you need it. Falling apart for a while one day won't mean you won't pull yourself back together for the next round.

hugs
 
Tillie is so right with everything she said. Even the strongest person can loose it. It's ok to cry. Sometimes even therapeutic. I wish I had my sons to help me out and Your mother is one lucky lady. We are all here for you! Let us know how your dad is feeling.

Debbie
 
Frosty,
Well don't feel like the Lone Ranger, Tonto... we've all had more than a few days on which we too fell apart. (How's that for a visual when talking to a Snowman?!?)
It happens when you've been too strong for too long, so take the time you need to gain some strength for the next short while.
And the only 'dump' you have to apologize for on this forum is...well... none, since that's part of this dance with Uncle Lou also!
Praying your dad, mom and you have a restful weekend.
Jeff
 
you would not be human if you didn't fall apart sometimes! Thank goodness you are there for your mom--what would she have done with out you! this is a hard road and we truly understand. Hopefully he was just having a bad day and tomorrow will be better.
 
It happens when you've been too strong for too long...
Jeff
What Jeff said is so important and it really hit me as so true.

I found and find that I hold myself so strong, that it is a bit of a shock how much I can fall apart suddenly when I do.

Please do update us on how your dad is.
 
FROSTY.....you are a fine lad indeed! Please give us an update...hope things are a little better today.:):)
Just for an example, my 3 sons have offered no help to me at all! Mind you, I haven't ask for anything except for them to make my grand daughters available to me, on a consistent basis. One son is a paraplegic from a car wreck, I actually help him with housework and errands etc.....ahh the harsh reality of life!
I am early progression and force myself to do things (through catastrophic fatigue, and failing muscles), though somewhat challenging.........but I am very aware of what lies ahead, and hope they will at least mow my lawn, and help me with snow removal in winter at some point.
 
....duehhhhhh duplicate post
 
Snowman, you are doing a great job taking care of your dad with your mom. I know how it feels so overwhelming sometimes.....but we are all helping each other, listening, offering a virtual shoulder to rest your head when you need. Any parent will be very proud of you.
 
>back to work once we had him settled but ever since i got back I can't hold it together and have just sat at my desk weeping. Sorry for the dump but I know ya'll understand, and I can just get it out.

I understand. :-(

ALS sucks!


>It happens when you've been too strong for too long, so take the time you need to gain some strength for the next short while.

no place to run or hide. Make yourself take breaks from ALS -- movies, books, church, whatever will let you mind free of this disease.

Do you have a dog? other pet that you can minister to?


>No need to apologize Snowman, dump here any time you need to.

Ditto that! (you know, I use that so often here I programmed a key to write it :)


>Don't be afraid to fall apart now and then either. It is a pressure release and you need it.

Ditto that!


>FROSTY.....you are a fine lad indeed!

Double Ditto that! :)

Kind regards,

Max
 
Thinking of you Snowman! You are a wonderful son to help out with the care of your dad. I will pray for strength for you through all this. Kim
 
God Bless you Snowman. Your father can rest more peacefully knowing you are there to help your mother, and I can't imagine what your mother would do if she didn't have you. I remember how comforting it was to call my son when my husband dumped in the bathroom, and have him be there in 5 min. with out a hint of hesitation. It is hard for an independent person to ask for help, but almost impossible if they know they are either going to get a half hearted reply or worse rejection. My daughter-in-law says that I seem hard hearted because I don't cry, but what she doesn't know is that I do, and hard just not when I am doing my job. I have been an ER nurse for over 25 years, and I can be very stoic, then when the emergency is all over and I am on my own I let it go. So do that, just LET IT GO, and you will feel better for it.

Paulette
 
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