Santa joe
Senior member
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2013
- Messages
- 638
- Reason
- Lost a loved one
- Diagnosis
- 02/2012
- Country
- US
- State
- South Carolina
- City
- Goose Creek
I made a decision a few years ago to become the best "caregiver" I could possibly be. To provide loving care and comfort to Santa Joe. I would thank God every night for getting me thru the day and ask that he give me strength and courage for this journey. I have been brutally honest on this forum. That's my contribution.
Santa Joe is declining. His doctor came over Thursday for his monthly checkup. The following is what transpired- Joe is getting weaker, he is miserable, he has no life, all of which I responded with - I know. I think it's time to call in hospice again and YOU are going to have to make a decision to take him off the vent. Will I be killing him? No I will be setting him free from this monster called ALS. Called our pastor and he came over. He spoke to Joe and told me biblically, I would not be doing anything wrong. After crying and praying I knew in my heart that would be the best decision. Not only for him but for our family. Our sons leave here in tears when they see their dad. Joe is crying all the time now.
I told Joe what the doctor had said and asked (once again) if he were ready to go to which he shook his head no. I told him how much I loved him and I and our sons would be fine. We didn't want him to go but watching him suffer and miserable in his life was too much. The bad and sad thing is I don't think he will ever be ready to go.
Why didn't I have the guts to tell him how I felt about the vent. This nightmare would have been over. Knowing how he feels, I can't take him off the vent and this could go on for years. Please pray for me as I continue on this journey.
Debbie
Santa Joe is declining. His doctor came over Thursday for his monthly checkup. The following is what transpired- Joe is getting weaker, he is miserable, he has no life, all of which I responded with - I know. I think it's time to call in hospice again and YOU are going to have to make a decision to take him off the vent. Will I be killing him? No I will be setting him free from this monster called ALS. Called our pastor and he came over. He spoke to Joe and told me biblically, I would not be doing anything wrong. After crying and praying I knew in my heart that would be the best decision. Not only for him but for our family. Our sons leave here in tears when they see their dad. Joe is crying all the time now.
I told Joe what the doctor had said and asked (once again) if he were ready to go to which he shook his head no. I told him how much I loved him and I and our sons would be fine. We didn't want him to go but watching him suffer and miserable in his life was too much. The bad and sad thing is I don't think he will ever be ready to go.
Why didn't I have the guts to tell him how I felt about the vent. This nightmare would have been over. Knowing how he feels, I can't take him off the vent and this could go on for years. Please pray for me as I continue on this journey.
Debbie