alsmom2, I wanted to check this threat again because you have been on my mind.
I can relate to what hangingon1 wrote. My mom is not necessarily hateful (yet), but she is often at a lack of empathy when it comes to her caretakers (primarily me) and their needs or feelings. She WAY overacts when she needs something, as if it is a huge emergency, and when I try to reason with her, she looks at me and types something totally unrelated as to change the focus off of her. She is very controlling and demanding. It is as if she could not care less if I need to eat, sleep, sit down, get a break....... She will then tell other people about how MY life has stopped to take care of her and that I am exhausted, etc. But even then she exhibits no concern.
This is how I have begun to deal with it (and I have only recently begun to try to deal with it): I tell her when I am going to step away. I tell her that when she acts out like that I am unable to help and will not be able to until she stops. I listen to her desires, even when they are unreasonable and try to work with her. If her desires are for something that will not be the best for her, I make sure she knows and remembers that, and I go along with it. If the results are not so great, she changes! It is kind of like dealing with a child. I hate saying that because she is my mom and I want her to live the rest of her life with dignity. But these days our memories are short. If there is an 'incident', the next hour we are back to being grateful for the time we have.
It is not easy and I think most of the responses are not telling you it is. But if you sometimes feel guilty that you are not embracing every moment of the time you have left with your son, remember that it is not easy. And as a matter of fact IT IS HARD. I with this disease process were like some Lifetime movie where we can recognize the reality, process it, and then get to do some big group hug for the time we have left. But every day is a brand new challenge.