Old 04-28-2013, 03:52 AM #1 (permalink)
New Member
 
Join Date: 2012
City: Cincinnati
State: Ohio
Country: US
Interest: I am a family member of someone with ALS/MND.
Posts: 66
AngelaRenee is on a distinguished road
AngelaRenee AngelaRenee is offline
New Member
Join Date: 2012
City: Cincinnati
State: Ohio
Country: US
Interest: I am a family member of someone with ALS/MND.
Posts: 66
AngelaRenee is on a distinguished road
Default depressed

Things with mom are progressing. She has trouble getting food stuck in her teeth, she sips through a straw and still manages to smoke cigarettes with her right hand that gets weaker everyday. We know smoking is not the best thing for her but its one of the only things she can do independently with us watching her so she doesn't drop the cigarette. I too have picked up smoking after my boyfriend and i quit for four years. He does not know I do and I feel guilty but im so depressed.my mom is 51 and I am 23 years old. I have a father that tries his best to take care of her and the house after he works his 9-6 demanding job. My sister sits with her on Wednesday but all the other weekdays I am there. I fix her food light her cigarettes help her take the little steps she can help with showering food range of motion excersize etc. My mom and I are closer than ever since she was diagnosed. She slurs and I cant imagine the day she looses her voice. I try to get her out of the house but its difficult. I am overwhelmed. My father is overwhelmed. Now he has all the responsibilities. I work at a retail store on the weekends but lately it seems more of a hassle to work on the weekend s while all my friends are living it up. Im sorry all I do is come to the forum to vent. Thank you all for reading. Its good to have support on here.
AngelaRenee is offline  
Old 04-28-2013, 07:02 AM #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: 2011
City: britain
State: moved back to blighty
Country: uk
Interest: dia with umn syndrome
Posts: 488
johnnyliverpool1 is on a distinguished road
johnnyliverpool1 johnnyliverpool1 is offline
Member
Join Date: 2011
City: britain
State: moved back to blighty
Country: uk
Interest: dia with umn syndrome
Posts: 488
johnnyliverpool1 is on a distinguished road
Default Re: depressed

your doing a fabulous job...caring is tough as tough can be...........harsh as it might seem, you will get your life back one day......you are a good kid..........johnny
johnnyliverpool1 is offline  
Old 04-28-2013, 03:34 PM #3 (permalink)
Katie C's Avatar
Very Helpful Member
 
Join Date: 2009
City: San Jose
State: CA
Country: US
Diagnosed: 07/2009
Interest: I lost a loved one to ALS/MND.
Posts: 1,567
Katie C is on a distinguished road
Katie C Katie C is offline
Very Helpful Member
Katie C's Avatar
Join Date: 2009
City: San Jose
State: CA
Country: US
Diagnosed: 07/2009
Interest: I lost a loved one to ALS/MND.
Posts: 1,567
Katie C is on a distinguished road
Default Re: depressed

Johnny's right... you're doing a great job in a difficult situation. If you're feeling depressed, and the usual "get some exercise, watch your diet" aren't doing it for you, you might tell your doctor what's going on in your life and see about getting some antidepressants... they're better for you than the cigarettes! (having watched my mom die of emphysema and lung cancer and smoking the whole time...) Remember to take some time for you ... I know it's hard but it will help you keep going.

Hang in there.. you're doing great...
Katie C is offline  
Old 04-28-2013, 10:00 PM #4 (permalink)
Barbie's Avatar
Extremely Helpful Member
 
Join Date: 2007
City: orlando
State: FL
Country: US
Diagnosed: 01/2007
Interest: I lost a loved one to ALS/MND.
Posts: 2,672
Barbie is a jewel in the roughBarbie is a jewel in the roughBarbie is a jewel in the rough
Barbie Barbie is offline
Extremely Helpful Member
Barbie's Avatar
Join Date: 2007
City: orlando
State: FL
Country: US
Diagnosed: 01/2007
Interest: I lost a loved one to ALS/MND.
Posts: 2,672
Barbie is a jewel in the roughBarbie is a jewel in the roughBarbie is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: depressed

You have taken on much more than most 23 year olds will ever face. give your self a pat on the back and do not be too hard on your self. But please, please put down those cigarettes! For your mom--it doesn't matter and is a small pleasure but you are young and have to think of your future. If it is too hard for you to give up right now, how about getting an E-cigarette. Talk to your doctor about the smoking and the depression. You have a lot on your plate right now and antidepressants can really help you.

Does your mom have a walker or wheelchair or scooter? that would make it easier to get her out of the house once in a while.

hang in there-we understand and are here for you

B
Barbie is offline  
Old 04-29-2013, 04:26 AM #5 (permalink)
LizT's Avatar
Very Helpful Member
 
Join Date: 2010
City: Beaver Dam
State: WI
Country: US
Interest: I lost a loved one to ALS/MND.
Posts: 1,532
LizT is on a distinguished road
LizT LizT is offline
Very Helpful Member
LizT's Avatar
Join Date: 2010
City: Beaver Dam
State: WI
Country: US
Interest: I lost a loved one to ALS/MND.
Posts: 1,532
LizT is on a distinguished road
Default Re: depressed

I starting taking care of my PALS (my fiance) when I was 24. He died the day after I turned 29. In that time, I started getting gray hair, I smoked, I put on 40lbs, I could hardly ever relax, and i was always tired. And this was only taking care of him for 8 hours a day. I got to go home at the end of the day. Dont get me wrong- we had an amazing relationship and had many many wonderful times together. I would do anything to get it back.
There isnt much of a point to my post, other than to tell you i sure can relate. You truly ARE doing an amazing job. And i promise you, when all of this is said and done, you will be so grateful that you did all that you did. It means the world to your mom and your Dad. But yes, even though you most likely wont be able to fully relax, you do need to find some time for yourself. Maybe hire someone to come in, even if its just for 4 hours once or twice a week. It will help.
Oh. And about the speech issues... there are alphabet boards that can be used if your Mom doesnt have access to a speech device.
Best of luck
LizT is offline  
Old 04-30-2013, 02:55 PM #6 (permalink)
skipper66's Avatar
Very Helpful Member
 
Join Date: 2012
City: SMALL TOWN IN
State: ILLINOIS
Country: US
Interest: I lost a loved one to ALS/MND.
Posts: 1,481
skipper66 is on a very distinguished road
skipper66 skipper66 is offline
Very Helpful Member
skipper66's Avatar
Join Date: 2012
City: SMALL TOWN IN
State: ILLINOIS
Country: US
Interest: I lost a loved one to ALS/MND.
Posts: 1,481
skipper66 is on a very distinguished road
Default Re: depressed

Hi AngelaRenee,
I wanted to chime in and to tell you that it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job helping your parents. I lost my mother 15 1/2 years ago to colon cancer. So, I know what it's like to see your mother suffer. I had to be put on the antipressant a few months after she passed away because I went into a very deep depression. I also had just given birth to twins. You might benefit from a very low dose of a antidepressent. I heard from several heavy smokers who quit that the electronic cigarette is a lifesaver. Please give it a try for your own health. Feel free to vent on here anytime. We care and will listen. Kim
skipper66 is offline  
Old 05-01-2013, 03:34 PM #7 (permalink)
CasaHopkins's Avatar
New Member
 
Join Date: 2010
City: Algonquin
State: IL
Country: US
Interest: husband diagnosed 01/2010
Posts: 15
CasaHopkins is on a distinguished road
CasaHopkins CasaHopkins is offline
New Member
CasaHopkins's Avatar
Join Date: 2010
City: Algonquin
State: IL
Country: US
Interest: husband diagnosed 01/2010
Posts: 15
CasaHopkins is on a distinguished road
Default Re: depressed

Please, please go see your doctor and tell him/her what you are going through and ask specifically for either antidepressants or anti anxiety medication. I promise it will help! My husbands illness has finally gotten to be more than I can handle without chemicals and I'm not ashamed to admit it. It takes strength to admit your limits. May you continue to have the grace to serve your mother through her illness! Love and light to you!
CasaHopkins is offline  
Old 05-02-2013, 06:55 AM #8 (permalink)
New Member (Say Hi)
 
Join Date: 2013
City: Vienna
State: Austria Europe
Country: AUT
Diagnosed: 02/2013
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 4
Austrian Sinto is on a distinguished road
Austrian Sinto Austrian Sinto is offline
New Member (Say Hi)
Join Date: 2013
City: Vienna
State: Austria Europe
Country: AUT
Diagnosed: 02/2013
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 4
Austrian Sinto is on a distinguished road
Default Re: depressed

Dear Angela Renee,
I am 50 years old and from Austria/Europe (no Kangooroos, but cows!) and in this moment I am the first time here on this homepage and in this forum. I am diagnosed ALS in february this year and feel that I am going to be weaker and weaker. My English is not very good, but what I understand here is, that you are a great young woman. I have no children but some good friends. NOW I know that they are good friends. IŽd like to have a daughter like you standing by me etc. also just to share the last time with somebody who likes me. Your Mom has somebody ... like you. What can somebody do more? But I would also say that you should have something just for you - to be away from all the desaster, from the sometimes depressing being together etc.. I would (lovely) throw you out of the house to have some private fun, just as you like it or think to need it. I think (especially with ALS) it is important to have a good time together, whatever it is. Since I can think I like the birds singing, the sounds of the flowing river, the laughing/quarrling/jumping children, playing animals etc. - now I like this more than ever. It fills me with live in the HERE and NOW. I like fresh air in my lungs and sun and rain on my skin. But the best is: nice people around.
I know I write a bit confused, this and that and this and that, I have not finished the thinking and feeling about my own desease, many things are open for me, future was planned COMPLETELY different. But the line through all is: you are great. I cannot take away you depressive feelings, although I would like to do. I think only you can get up, stand up, fire it up. Ok, i did not want to be political
So I wish you from my heart to be strong enough not to break down - or to stand up again. We all can fall down in life, I think the important thing is to stand up again.
Bye bye
Thomas Weiss
Austrian Sinto is offline  
Old 05-02-2013, 01:10 PM #9 (permalink)
ottawa girl's Avatar
Very Helpful Member
Forum Moderator
 
Join Date: 2012
City: Ottawa
State: Ontario
Country: CA
Diagnosed: 04/2012
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 1,510
ottawa girl is on a distinguished road
ottawa girl ottawa girl is offline
Very Helpful Member
Forum Moderator

ottawa girl's Avatar
Join Date: 2012
City: Ottawa
State: Ontario
Country: CA
Diagnosed: 04/2012
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 1,510
ottawa girl is on a distinguished road
Default Re: depressed

Thomas the Austrian

Welcome! Sorry for your illness, but glad you are here for support, information and friendship. There is nothing at all wrong with your English... It's far better than my German!

"Standing up again"... So well said. Thank you for the reminder.
ottawa girl is offline  
Old 05-02-2013, 05:17 PM #10 (permalink)
sunewun's Avatar
New Member
 
Join Date: 2012
City: Camden
State: TENNESSEE
Country: US
Diagnosed: 06/2012
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 80
sunewun is on a distinguished road
sunewun sunewun is offline
New Member
sunewun's Avatar
Join Date: 2012
City: Camden
State: TENNESSEE
Country: US
Diagnosed: 06/2012
Interest: I have been diagnosed with ALS.
Posts: 80
sunewun is on a distinguished road
Default Re: depressed

Hugs to you Angela for being there for your mom but please find some time for yourself. It will keep you sane. We are here if you just need to vent some.

Thomas, welcome. I know Angela will appreciate your good advice.
sunewun is offline  
Old 05-08-2013, 05:00 PM #11 (permalink)
New Member
 
Join Date: 2012
City: Cincinnati
State: Ohio
Country: US
Interest: I am a family member of someone with ALS/MND.
Posts: 66
AngelaRenee is on a distinguished road
AngelaRenee AngelaRenee is offline
New Member
Join Date: 2012
City: Cincinnati
State: Ohio
Country: US
Interest: I am a family member of someone with ALS/MND.
Posts: 66
AngelaRenee is on a distinguished road
Default Re: depressed

Thank you all for the support and kind words. Sometimes I just need reassuring I suppose.
AngelaRenee is offline  
Old 05-08-2013, 05:02 PM #12 (permalink)
New Member
 
Join Date: 2012
City: Cincinnati
State: Ohio
Country: US
Interest: I am a family member of someone with ALS/MND.
Posts: 66
AngelaRenee is on a distinguished road
AngelaRenee AngelaRenee is offline
New Member
Join Date: 2012
City: Cincinnati
State: Ohio
Country: US
Interest: I am a family member of someone with ALS/MND.
Posts: 66
AngelaRenee is on a distinguished road
Default Re: depressed

I am still a little weary about anti-depressants. My doctor did prescribe a low dose anti depressant that I have not taken yet. I hear bad and good things from other people. Thats good to know that it is helping you!
AngelaRenee is offline  
Closed Thread

Tags
boyfriend, depressed, diagnosed, father, food, reading, support, vent, voice


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Depressed fionae People With ALS - "PALS" 31 10-25-2015 03:56 AM
Depressed about possible diagnosis WilliamS Do I Have ALS? Is This ALS? 3 10-12-2015 07:01 PM
declined...depressed kfletcher General Discussion About PLS 14 04-20-2015 01:29 AM
Help for depressed ALS patient TomsSIL Current Caregivers (CALS) 18 07-29-2011 09:30 PM
Very depressed joni51 Current Caregivers (CALS) 29 06-13-2011 12:25 AM
Finally Depressed Sammantha General Discussion About ALS/MND 13 05-01-2009 10:08 PM
To depressed to go on. 4rhl1981 General Discussion About ALS/MND 47 10-23-2008 05:57 PM
So depressed califsand Current Caregivers (CALS) 35 07-20-2008 03:56 PM
depressed pldo Do I Have ALS? Is This ALS? 15 09-06-2007 06:16 PM
New, and now depressed, and scared! Qureshi General Discussion About ALS/MND 6 07-03-2005 07:14 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:24 AM.

 

Who we are

"We are a volunteer-driven online community that originated in 2003. We are a resource for anyone affected by ALS and MND. We are a community of like-minded and compassionate individuals. Together we are the ALS Forum and together we build this online resource and online community."

 

Want to help?

Have you found our website helpful? Do you enjoy having a place to talk to people that are knowledgeable about ALS and MND? If you have found it helpful to chat with people at different stages of the ALS/MND journey we encourage you to get involved.

Copyright © 2016